Tag Archives: wicked

St. Patrick’s Day: Ten Green Things I Love

Yesterday, we took a look at a few green things that are not my favoriteI don’t especially care for … Fine! You know what? I said HATE. We talked about seven green things that I HATE!

So, in an effort to balance the bad with the good, the yin with the yang, the Ginger with the Mary Ann, I thought we’d make an opposite list today. To help you “Erin” your “Go Bragh” tomorrow. Happy St. Paddy’s Day!

Ten Green Things I Love

(and NONE of them are vegetables … technically)

 1. Pesto.

Because it’s fabulous on flatbread, crackers, pasta … I bet that shit would taste good on a doughnut. (Who am I kidding? What wouldn’t taste good on a doughnut?)

2. Emeralds.

Because it’s my girl’s birthstone and, next to diamonds, might just be my favorite gemstone. Seriously, it’s so regal they made a whole city out of it. Fictionally speaking, of course. Unless you count Seattle.

3. Avocado.

Because even though its name derives from a word meaning “testicle,” it still manages to be one of my all-time favorite foods. (And, yes. That would make guacamole a bowl of mashed testicles. Discuss.)

4. Greenland.

Because you guys remember when I wrote Greenland, right? That was such a fun letter series. And, one of these days, they’re going to call me and ask me to travel across their countryside drinking in the sights and sounds of all things Greenland. And then write about my whole experience. … Seriously, it’s going to happen. …. You’ll see.

5. Elphaba.

Because it’s an incredible show. I first heard Defying Gravity performed on the Tonys in 2004. And now, more than a decade later, I’m still on my feet …. clapping and crying like an idiot. (That actually seems to happen a lot in my life.)

6. Green smoothies.

Because … Kale? Nope. Spinach? Uh-uh. Can’t be that either. You know what? I have no earthly idea why I like them, but those suckers are really good.

7. Olives.

Because stuffed with cheese, sliced on a pizza, minced in a tapenade or whole in a martini … is there anything better in the world? (For the purposes of #7, no. There is not. Next!)

8. Christmas trees.

Because of their meaning, their twinkle and especially their smell. It’s probably why mine is usually up from November to mid-January. Either that or laziness.

9. Money.

Because it’s always in season, it’s always appropriate and it always fits.

10. Kermit.

Because he reminds me of being a little bitty kid. Plus Rainbow Connection was one of my childhood theme songs. I actually had a few … which I’m guessing sounds as weird to me as it probably does to you.

What about YOU?

Shrek, Key lime pie, The Incredible Hulk … what GREEN stuff do YOU love?


The Post That Could’ve Been Written By 13-Year-Old Me

I’ve got a song stuck in my head, so that’s what I’m writing about today. Wicked has descended upon the New Orleans theater scene again. And I spent my Mother’s Day with my mom and daughter seeing it … for the third time. And I cried my eyes out during Defying Gravity … for the third time. (I can’t explain it. Maybe my period is coming.) Anyway, as the touring production was arriving, my friend, Vanessa, introduced me to Popular Song which lifts some of its melody and theme from one the showstoppers in Wicked. It was released by British singer-songwriter Mika and it features (because I am listening to the clean version, ladies and gentlemen) the vocal accompaniment of Ariana Grande (from Nickelodeon’s Victorious).

Despite the fact that I am most definitely not 13, THIS is the song I’ve had stuck in my head.

The story line has these two “misfits” addressing the popular kids. They lament about how they’ve never been popular and are only now getting attention from the in-crowd because they sing (professionally, one can only assume) popular songs that these jerks actually like. Who’s speaking … the gothy characters or Mika and Ariana? The song is multi-layered, like a bubble-gum flavored onion. (sarcasm face)

The video was just released a few weeks ago:

So, did you watch the video? Or did you just skip down to this paragraph? Cheater! Watch the video, especially if you know the song from Wicked. They did a good job weaving the original melody in with the new one. But seriously, at what high school IN HELL would these two not be popular? I’m supposed to believe that beautiful Ariana Grande would lose the attention of a boy to the goofy, blonde, horse-toothed, dead girl? Please. Miss Grande is one of the prettiest teenage girls I’ve ever seen. And this is coming from a (static noise)-year-old woman! Oh, and Mika? At the very LEAST, I would think his British accent and talking car would have managed to get him a little social action. I’m really not buying that they’re the dungeon-and-dragony outcasts here.

Still, I LOVE the song and its video. Here are just a few of my favorite lyrics:

Standing on the field with your pretty pompoms
Now you’re working at the movies selling popular corn

You hid during classes and in between them
Dunk me in the toilets, now it’s you that cleans them

You were singing all the songs I don’t know
Now you’re in the front row ’cause my song is popular


Exactly! If I can just get ODNT to be number one on Google … or write a NY Times Bestseller … or (ooh!) maybe win on Wheel or Fortune or something, I can exact my revenge on all the jackasses who gave me a hard time as a kid. Plus, apparently all the cool kids are now pumping gas and scrubbing toilets. (My apologies to gas pumpers and toilet scrubbers who were not mean to me.) Also, I really like the idea of turning these people to stone. Although I might actually want to keep them around to serve as an example for any future jackassery in my life.

Who’s with me?