Letter #3 to the Greenland Tourism Bureau

This post is part of a series. Long story short – I noticed recently that I had no readers in Greenland. As in ZERO. Which is completely ridiculous. And it got me to thinking … Wouldn’t it be awesome to GO to Greenland? I could write a review of the entire country while making new friends along the way. And I could chronicle the whole thing … right here on ODNT.

* * * * * * * * * *


* * * * * * * * * *

Before you read the post below, please check out the following posts that led up to this one:

Hello, Greenland? Can You Hear Me?

Letter #1 to the Greenland Tourism Bureau

Letter #2 to the Greenland Tourism Bureau

OMG, You Guys! Greenland Called!!!

September 15, 2013

Dear Uiloq,

Thanks so much for writing back. I can only imagine how busy an employee of a tourism office that covers such a vast and interesting expanse of the world must be. You are correct about my wanting to visit your country as a travel writer. I review all kinds of products ranging from trendy, high-end headphones to blockbuster horror films to children’s books about underwear. So why not Greenland, right? Of course, right.
Because you know the area so well, you would likely be a great person to point me in the direction of the cities or regions I should contact directly about a visit. I would love your advice or the advice of anyone there in your office. You guys are the experts. And, with a little luck, I will be one day soon as well. (What an honor it would be to call myself a Greenlandic Expert!) I’ve been reading up on your country non-stop and I’ve learned that all of your cities are established on the coastline because it’s the only area that is ice-free. I also know that Greenland has only two stoplights, both located in Nuuk, your country’s capital. When you google that traffic light fact, my website is now the second listing that comes up for that information (see below).
Suffice it to say, visiting Greenland to write all about it is definitely at the very top of my Bucket List. (Do you guys know the expression “Bucket List” in Greenland? I’m afraid that term would not translate literally. For that reason, I’ve included a Wikipedia link explaining it here: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_does_’bucket_list’_mean. Additionally, there was a movie made about this concept appropriately titled The Bucket List starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. Are you familiar with these American actors? I heard the movie was pretty good but I never actually saw it myself. Hey, maybe we could all see it together when I get to Greenland!)
But I digress …
Yes, I want to visit Greenland. As soon as possible. Ideally, it might be nice to visit on June 21, your national holiday, but I’ll gladly come there any day of the year. Except Christmas (December 25). I’m a mom and I should probably be home for that day. 🙂
In the meantime, can you do me two favors?
  1. Can you send me the names and email addresses for the individual cities I should contact about visiting to do a travel review?
  2. Can you please spread the word about my humor blog (OldDogNewTits.com)? I have no readership from Greenland. None! And I’m ready to start seeing that white void (below) turn yellow … and orange … and maybe even some day red!.

I need people from Greenland to CLICK THE LINK … PLEASE! To read what what I’ve written about you guys so far, click here.

Until then, I’ll keep showing my support and wearing the colors (see below). I can’t wait to hear from you guys. I’m SO excited!
Michele Robert Poche
New Orleans, Louisiana
United States of America

So, for now, I’m putting all my eggs in Uiloq’s basket. Here’s hoping that basket also includes a plane ticket, hotel accommodations and some seriously warm boots. Size 7, please.

Come on, Greenland and Uiloq. I’m DYING to meet you both!


14 responses to “Letter #3 to the Greenland Tourism Bureau

  1. Absolute Perfection. Got your passport? I think this is going to happen someday!

  2. First. Is that COLOR you’re wearing? COLOR?!?! I told you that you looked good when you wear COLORS. Especially green. It’s fetching on you. I just choked on my carbonated drink when I noticed the broccoli.

    Greenland should hire you to promote their country. We’re enjoying these letters greatly. They are a hit among the young and old alike in our household.

    P.S. I’m willing to be your translator if you go to Greenland. 🙂

  3. Whatever you do, don’t let on that you know that Greenland was named that to confuse settlers.
    (They’re still touchy about it…)

  4. Yes!!!! Who wouldn’t want you to be a travel writer for their country?!? Heck, I’d let you come here to Castro Valley and write about my town. (Most fast food chains and churches in a square mile. Eh? You know you’re intrigued) Good luck to you and I hope Greenland will be calling.

  5. Greenland needs to Ketchup with You.
    Seriously, you are bringing the costume, if nothing else. Well maybe longjanes.

  6. I hope you get to have your wonderful adventure! Definitely creative thinking…

  7. Pingback: Check out my world map! | OldDogNewTits

  8. Pingback: The Photographic Proof that I am NOT a Vampire | OldDogNewTits

  9. 1. Greenland needs Michele and Michele needs Greenland. Let’s make this happen.

    2. Tell them Iceland has more followers than Greenland. This should stoke their competitive fire. p.s. Be sure to belittle Iceland once you’re the official travel writer for Greenland. Everyone needs a rival.

    3. I’m not positive, but I think broccoli is the official vegetable of Iceland. It’s an understandable misconception, but maybe a little photoshop work could make it look like Greenland’s official vegetable – broccoli. (All of these facts are unofficial, by the way).

  10. Pingback: An Update on My Arby’s Letter | OldDogNewTits

  11. Pingback: Just call me Renee Zellweger | OldDogNewTits

  12. Pingback: St. Patrick’s Day: Ten Green Things I Love | OldDogNewTits

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s