And so ends the last day of my family trip. We’ve traveled thousands of miles, walked hundreds of blocks and spent I-don’t-even-want-to-think-about-its of dollars. We’ve been to several cities, eaten an international smorgasbord of foods and witnessed all kinds of entertainment. Along the way, we picked up my son and bid farewell to my brother. We visited with out-of-town friends while in their hometowns and hometown friends while out-of-town. We’ve ridden in taxis, subways, trains, rickshaws and, even as I type, airplanes. All in all, it’s been a great family adventure.
But a travel day is a travel day. And we all know that not much happens on that day. In truth, I didn’t even include our travel day in the beginning of the trip. Which was pretty damned lazy of me considering we did actually do a thing or two that day. But I was tired and again it was a travel day. Like today.
We didn’t do a whole lot today outside of packing, some last minute shopping near the hotel (I love H&M and we don’t have one … stupid hometown) and lunching. We wound up eating at a place called Chocolate by the Bald Man, based purely on its comical name. I didn’t even realize it was a full-scale eatery until we walked in. The people there were very nice. And I don’t like writing bad things about nice people. So, I’ll just say that my turkey sandwich served on a rosemary breakfast waffle was delicious and we’ll leave it at that. Okay?
Then, we headed out to the Philadelphia airport. No real problems except the delay caused by my carry-on which was pulled from the line. I was even interviewed about my suspicious bag. And, after a thorough investigation, we determined it was the homemade candles I’d purchased at Reading Terminal Market that were causing all the ruckus. My Fresh Baked Bread and Victorian Rose scented candles. So, if you take nothing away from reading this blog today, remember scented candles = you fitting the profile. (I wonder how many terrorists slipped by me while they were sniffing my candles.)
Anyway … I had two flights today. One from Philadelphia to Atlanta and another from Atlanta to New Orleans (aka home). Other than some turbulence that prevented the airline from providing beverage service, neither was too eventful. Always a good thing. So I found myself with time to work the in-flight crossword puzzle, attempt and fail a few math puzzles (stupid math) and thumb through the SkyMall magazine. (BTW … Best. Catalog. Ever.) And guess what, you guys? I think I’ve already got my Christmas list together for 2013. Let’s take a look.
(1) Pet anxiety reducer – Because let’s face it. We all know that Milo can be a real asshole sometimes. I’ve already tried chewy valium/liver treats as well as a liquid sedative when he’s forced to travel. All to no avail. But perhaps this snappy vest will do the trick.
(2) Large super skate sail – Because I care about the environment. And saving the Earth’s natural gas resources. Plus how cool would I look going to the grocery on this thing?
(3) Feline potty training system – Because, executed correctly, it might get me on Ellen.
(4) Portable inflatable movie screen – Because ….hello??? Party at my house!
(5) Head massager – Because it will make me the center of attention at the mall, the post office, PTA meetings … pretty much anywhere I go!
(6) Kitty washroom – Because I get to incorporate cat poo directly into my home décor. And I’ve been trying to think of a way to do that for years!
(7) Wide mock rock – Because … oh, wait. I already have one. (Bet you guys think I’m kidding.)
(8) Giraffe toilet paper holder – Because my current, ordinary holder only holds a single roll. What an antiquated piece of crap.
(9) Custom Pet Portrait Canvas – Because I can think of no better way to humiliate Milo for all of eternity. All you have to do is upload a picture and specify gender. And you guys know we’d totally say he was a girl. There’s just nothing like sticking it to a cat.
(10) Bigfoot, Garden Yeti statue, large – Because, at $2250, I really don’t know how I’ve lived without one for this long.
So there. You guys have the list. And now you should probably talk amongst yourselves to make sure I don’t get any duplicates. Plus I realize some of the items are pricier than others so I completely understand if some of you want to go in together for the bigger things.
I can hardly wait ‘til Christmas morning!
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Oh, yeah. And the trip was fantastic. All of it. Except for the bad stuff that wasn’t fantastic. Thanks for following along with my daily journal. FYI, whenever I do a post series, I like to include one at the end listing all of the links within it. Just in case I ever want to use the series collectively. That’s what this post is all about, Charlie Brown.
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To read about the whole trip …