Wells Fargo is having a contest. A contest that awards money. Which is honestly one of my favorite things in life. It takes me to foreign places, it brings me cheese and it helps me to spoil my kids with things like, I don’t know, socially-acceptable rodents. For that reason, when I saw this contest via Blogher as a means of discussing my lifelong relationship with money … well, I just couldn’t resist writing it a little letter. Enjoy.
Dear Money,
I wanted to drop you a quick line to check in and see if everything was okay. Have I offended you in some way? It seems like just a few years ago we hung out every day but now I see less and less of you. Was it because I flaunted the idea of using you frivolously for a boob job? Yes, it’s true. I was considering it but have tabled the idea for a while due to some health problems we discovered.
Honestly, whatever it is that I did, I want to apologize wholeheartedly. You and I have had a pretty solid relationship most of my life. And I felt very close to you until recently. Whenever I’ve needed you, you’ve always been there. Even if you were the last one to show up! Sometimes I think you liked watching me sweat it out a little. 🙂
But now you hardly ever stop by. And, when you do, it’s never for the kind of quality visits we use to have together. Remember the lunches, the pedis, the vacations? You just don’t seem to have time for me anymore. Haven’t I been good to you? Haven’t I always appreciated you?
Please consider coming for a visit when you have a chance. Dave, the kids and I would love to take you to dinner sometime soon.
Wishing you were here,
Michele
OldDogNewTits 
I can totally relate. I remember back when I paid my bills as soon as they came and didn’t have to balance my checkbook before green-lighting a trip to Taco Bell. Sigh. I miss those days.
It’s almost like you live on the comfy couch inside my head! Great job, Michele! I hope Money has an answer, or better yet, shows up and brings friends to apologize for its shameful neglect of you very soon.
Buckets of love and luck on the contest,
Amy
Dear Money,
I’m very sorry. Please come back.
I promise I’ll never put you in the washer/dryer again..
Great letter! Hope you win!
Money is such a fickle friend.
How did I not notice the rotary phone??
Everybody has a love/hate relationship with money. It’s kinda like the love/hate relationship to end all love/hate relationships, since it comes and goes almost entirely at will. After the zombie apocalypse though, it won’t matter. We’ll go back to vigilante justice and trading baubles. And then money will seem quite civilized comparatively, and it will be kinda like the one who got away…
This was a perfect challenge for you! hehehhe Loved it!
It looks like she is stuffing money into her bra, which is pretty much what a boob job is, huh?
Oh, that’s good stuff, BT. You just made me laugh. 🙂
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Did Money ever write you back?
He called earlier but I missed it. Of course. I tried calling back but my call was blocked.