WARNING: You just received an incomplete post from me. It’s like eating raw cookie dough or going to a party while the host is still naked. Delicious and funny but not as good as waiting for the finished product.
This is what happens when you attempt to write a post while also watching TV with your kids. Do me a solid. You know that ‘Happy First Anniversary, ODNT!’ post you just got an email about? Well, it’s not finished cooking yet. I’ll be posting it again in its completed form after midnight on my actual one year anniversary. Which is … tomorrow.
I don’t know why I thought I could write a post AND watch TV at the same time. Damn you, America’s Got Talent! I blame Howard Stern and the dude taking shots to his crotch as his “talent.”
To sum up, IGNORE the first post email you just received. EMBRACE the second one you get after midnight!
Okay, we’ve got five consultation appointments down (hard to believe!) and an incredible amount of information to digest. But only two doctors can advance to the second round. (Kinda feel like you’re watching America’s Got Talent?)
So, here’s where you come in. I want you to help me pick these two doctors … so I’m providing you with a Cliff’s Notes version of ODNT to help you decide. (Didn’t you just love Cliff’s Notes … and didn’t you hate the teachers who knew how to circumnavigate them when creating their tests? And did you know that the original creator of these books was actually some dude from Nebraska in the 50s named Cliff? He lifted the idea from his buddy, Cole, from Canada who had already started publishing Cole’s Notes up there. Yes, I am serious. And no, I didn’t know that off the top of my head. Duh, Google!)
Anyway, please take a look at your cheat sheet below … but remember … I’m the teacher now. And what does that mean? It means there’s a lot of shit in my five carefully scripted reports that cannot be found in these excessively condensed notes. Shit that could sway you in any direction. So, my recommendation …. and my request … is that you review the doctor visits and help me cull these five down to two. (Maybe I can get an 800# for voting like American Idol.)
I’ll likely start the voting tomorrow so please get thinking for me. Oh, and don’t forget to play the Boob ABC game (from 10/10/11). We’re halfway there. Thanks, all!
- Doctor #1 – Full lift and (maybe) implants later; Prefers saline; Not too big; Two procedures
- Doctor #2 – Mini-lift and implants; Prefers silicone; Big to get your $ worth; One procedure
- Doctor #3 – Full lift and fat injections from abdomen w/some stomach contouring; Medium-sized; One procedure
- Doctor #4 – Mini-lift and implants; Prefers saline; Not too big – 270-330ccs; One procedure; Insurance offered on implants
- Doctor #5 – Full lift and implants; Prefers silicone; Not too big – 280-300ccs; One procedure
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Tagged "Old Dog New Tits", 270ccs, 280ccs, 300ccs, 330ccs, America's Got Talent, American Idol, Cliff's Notes, full lift, implants, mini-lift, round two, saline, silicone, voting