No, no, no. I did NOT forget about the Jud & Bill Contest. It’s summer so my kids are home 24/7 … and they’re tearing through laundry, food, dishes, my money, my last nerves and hours of my time like Kleenex around here. Plus … have you read these entries? They are so freakin’ good with so much creativity and research put into each one of them that there is NO WAY I could pick a winner myself.
Are you really surprised by this next development?
We’re putting it up for a vote. I’m giving everyone a whole week … because we are ALL busy people … to take a look at the submissions and then vote for the one you think best represents Episode 11. Feel free to elaborate in the comments below their entries or this post as I know the writers would love to hear from you.
Want to catch up on the storyline before reading the entries and voting? Click here for episodes 1-10.
Here are the entries for your voting consideration:
Please take a minute to read ALL of the above before voting. You might want to eat a Saltine or Melba Toast cracker between reading each entry to cleanse your palate properly. Or, better yet, perhaps you could check out the dental blog of my first hate mail – I mean – my old friend to clear your brain between each example of the fine dumbassery exhibited here in these entries today.
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I couldn’t get the stupid poll to center on the page. So … to overcompensate for my computer illiteracy AND to pay homage to the two heroes that inspired this whole contest … I elected to use the cheesiest poll theme offered in WordPress for our post today. Enjoy!
Okay … I want you to think very carefully … as your input will help me make my decision. Please take a moment to look back on the five consultation reports and get a feel for the doctors again. Honestly, I was the one there … and it was my boobs being handled over and over and over again … and I STILL needed to go back and review everything just to write the cheat sheet yesterday.
Pretend like it’s YOUR boobs. I need you to help me pick two doctors to advance to round two. My husband will be joining me for these two appointments. Hell, my mom might even be coming along.
What would you do? Remember … my girls are counting on you.
Okay, we’ve got five consultation appointments down (hard to believe!) and an incredible amount of information to digest. But only two doctors can advance to the second round. (Kinda feel like you’re watching America’s Got Talent?)
So, here’s where you come in. I want you to help me pick these two doctors … so I’m providing you with a Cliff’s Notes version of ODNT to help you decide. (Didn’t you just love Cliff’s Notes … and didn’t you hate the teachers who knew how to circumnavigate them when creating their tests? And did you know that the original creator of these books was actually some dude from Nebraska in the 50s named Cliff? He lifted the idea from his buddy, Cole, from Canada who had already started publishing Cole’s Notes up there. Yes, I am serious. And no, I didn’t know that off the top of my head. Duh, Google!)
Anyway, please take a look at your cheat sheet below … but remember … I’m the teacher now. And what does that mean? It means there’s a lot of shit in my five carefully scripted reports that cannot be found in these excessively condensed notes. Shit that could sway you in any direction. So, my recommendation …. and my request … is that you review the doctor visits and help me cull these five down to two. (Maybe I can get an 800# for voting like American Idol.)
I’ll likely start the voting tomorrow so please get thinking for me. Oh, and don’t forget to play the Boob ABC game (from 10/10/11). We’re halfway there. Thanks, all!
Doctor #1 – Full lift and (maybe) implants later; Prefers saline; Not too big; Two procedures
Doctor #2 – Mini-lift and implants; Prefers silicone; Big to get your $ worth; One procedure
Doctor #3 – Full lift and fat injections from abdomen w/some stomach contouring; Medium-sized; One procedure
Doctor #4 – Mini-lift and implants; Prefers saline; Not too big – 270-330ccs; One procedure; Insurance offered on implants
Doctor #5 – Full lift and implants; Prefers silicone; Not too big – 280-300ccs; One procedure