Tag Archives: boob

Getting by with a little help from my friends

 As promised, here is the original appeal I made to my girlfriends for help with the project … and their wonderfully supportive responses.


 Hi, ladies.

If you’re receiving this email, it’s because I consider you a close friend and wanted to include you in a project I’m getting ready to take on.  Before I go any further, please look above at the ‘send to’ line.  You have all been blind copied on this message for your own benefit. Why?  Because it’s about boob jobs … and I consider you all experts on the subject but know that most, if not all, of you will not want to be outed.  I totally respect that.  Personally, I’m planning to take a different route.

 As a 42-year-old mother of two who basically exercises and eats right every day, I’m tired of looking at the deflated version of what I used to have up there.  Some of you have even had the honor of seeing them in person.  Those of who have know where I’m coming from.

So … I’m now looking into the possibility of an upgrade … but that’s not all. In the interest of keeping my promise to myself to return to writing when my school job ended, I’ve decided to go public … very public… about this whole project.  Blog-style.  (I still can’t admit I’m planning to write a blog without feeling a little dorky. When, oh when, will I get over that?)

Those of you who have seen the movie ‘Julie & Julia’ will know just what I mean.  The difference here is that, instead of writing a blog about cooking 500+ French recipes created by Julia Child inside of a year, I will be documenting the full process of what women go through when pursuing a boob job, first-hand. Every detail of the project will be included in the journal …. from arriving at the decision and telling my family … to interviewing doctors and maybe buying some new bras. And everything in between.

And I want you all to be a part of the whole process.  I will fully respect your anonymity and give you another name (of your choosing) and would love to be able to tap your brains and use your insight for me personally as well as in the blog with your permission.

 What do you say?  Care to be my personal consultants?  Any thoughts to share with me already? I can’t wait to hear from you all.  Love you guys.



I’d love to do it, and I’m fine with using my real name.  I’ve been pretty open about my ‘enhancements.’ I hope you enjoy yours as much as I’ve enjoyed mine. – Anne

What a cool idea! I’ve always suspected you had a writer’s soul. You are probably like me, in that you analyze, soul-search, etc. before you make this kind of decision, but you ultimately decided to do it for yourself — not because of external pressure. I think there are a lot of women who have grappled with the same thing, and would appreciate some candid blogging on the subject. You can feel free to pick my brain! – Cindy

I love mine … thrilled that I did it! Where are you in your decision-making process? You can see and/or feel mine (after a few glasses of wine … haha!) if you’d like! I did that with a friend to see what I thought before I saw her doctor. – Elizabeth

Ha!!! I absolutely LOVE this. I would love to be a part of your boob journey. My first piece of advice is to think long and hard about what size you would like. Everyone, including the docs, will tell you that you will wish you had gone bigger. I totally disagree!!! I actually wish I would have gone smaller. Big boobs can give the illusion of extra weight. Put a lot of thought into your size. Good luck.  I’m here for you whenever you need me. – Hannah

I’m definitely on board and you can use my real name.  I’m very comfortable with my decision, so ask away.  I’d happy to answer anything that you or anything else wants to know. – Kelly

(A friend) suggested I do a boob blog last year.  Unfortunately, I am not a skilled writer.  Glad to see that you are doing it.  And, yes, I am your best source for information. – Mary

Awesome!!! I am 3 years post boob job and have zero regrets. I’ll be happy to have you pick my brain. I clearly remember deciding between 3 doctors and picked the one who wanted to be smallest. The buying new bras was funny because in the beginning I bought bras that minimized my look and now I buy push-up bras with padding. Haha! Look forward to talking to you. – Megan

You can officially count me in to be a part of The Expert Panel, The Dream Team, Babes with Boobs, Not So Itsy Bitsy, Lifted with Love, The Boobilicious Society, etc.  You can use my real name. I don’t mind talking about my journey and how it relates to your boob case. And, if anyone learns a little more about breast cancer awareness from my comments, then that’s a bonus. – Melissa

Nothing to hide!!! Real name is fine by me.  The “girls” have been up front all these years, so why not me? You will love the new additions!  Any questions I might be able to answer, just ask. – Paige

I have lived through the roller coaster of emotions and know the feeling of excitement when the ride finally stops and you take a deep breath, give sneaky grin and say– God, I am glad I did it!! I am here to support you and the girls until they are able to support themselves. And, oh, what a wonderful day to know they can be out there on their own, not drooping over a wire that I never completely understood. – Red

Of course! And I got a mini-lift at the same time – look into it. I don’t care who knows.  My name is fine. Good luck, Michele.  I love your idea.  You will be thrilled and will probably wonder why you didn’t do it sooner. – Vineen


I am the boob girl

I am the boob girl.

I almost went with boob lady, but I like the ability to sing my version to the tune of ‘I am the Walrus.’ (For my pop culture-challenged friends, that’s an old Beatles song.)

Last night, I had a meeting at my kids’ school for the women’s half of the parents association. We’re a pretty tight-knit community. Everyone knows you … or at least everyone knows someone who knows you. And the fact that I was co-president of this organization last year with my dear friend, Ashley, pretty much prevents me from flying under the radar there at all anyway.

(Note: you’ll be meeting Ashley better next week as I’ve added her as an Appointment Buddy.  And she’s up for the Wednesday appointment.)

Anyway, this was the first big meeting of the school year. And, more importantly, the first one I wasn’t running (I know, Ashley … CO-running!)  in a while … which left me available to visit with other moms before and after the meeting a bit.  The topic of conversation initiated with me over and over again? Boobs, of course.

Specifically MY boobs.

I was a little surprised it (they) kept coming up as this was the circle in which I had chosen to lay low the most … assuming some of these women would think I was nuts. I’m friends with so many of the parents there … and the teachers … and the principal, for Pete’s sake! I wasn’t sure I wanted to unleash everything so close to home.

Worlds colliding, you know?

The funny thing is, that although I hadn’t directly contacted most of these ladies about the blog, many of them had already seen it. And read it.  And liked it.

I really do need to get over myself, don’t I?

Anyway, I spent the night jumping from circle to circle, talking about my boobs with the kind of enthusiasm that allows you to know the subject of my conversation from across the noisy room. (Hand gestures and repeat grabbings of your own boobs will always give you away, FYI.)

I even got the opportunity to see and feel another mom’s implants in the bathroom before the night was over.  Seriously, it was her idea and she pulled me into the ladies room.  I guess it seems only fair considering how many friends I’ve been flashing lately.  And, by the way, Kelly … they were spectacular! (Yes, of course, I have her permission to use her name.  Never mind the fact that I got it over drinks later that night!)

After the meeting ended … and I talked to no less than a dozen people about my boobs … we all went out for drinks and the discussions only deepened.  Again, I found myself surprised by the women (and men, apparently) who had been tuning in and were regularly keeping abreast (how many times can I use that one really?) with ODNT.   There were two women there I had never met before who have already taken the big plunge.  And these ladies were more than happy to have the opportunity to discuss ‘all things boob’ with everyone and learn even more with me during my research process.

The bottom line is I think I’ve created a bit of a new identity for myself … as ODNT or perhaps just Old Dog, which I can live with.  But, you know, it’s kind of nice having my own identity after all these years as my kids’ mom, the school’s president, my mother’s daughter or any of the other familial connections linked to me. (Wink.)  And, hey, my boobs actually scored me lunch today at one of my favorite local burrito joints.  (Thanks, Alyson, Robby and Izzo’s for a great meal!)

And these are still my ‘befores!’  Think … of the possibilities!


The First Consultation Appointment – Pt. 2

So, we went into the examination room, still tasteful and completely boob-less in décor, and waited for the doctor.  My stupid phone rang again but, this time, I ignored it.  Not going to fall for that one again, iPhone.  I wanted to be mentally prepared for her when she came in.  So, I started trying to organize my thoughts.  Virginia wanted to throw her gum away and we joked about what she might see in the ‘Biohazard’ bin in the room with us.   She screwed up her courage, lifted the lid and tossed in her wad of gum.  Of course, we saw no used saline bags or spare nipples (sorry to my friend who can’t stand the sound of that word).  Too bad though.  That would’ve been a cool addition to this story, wouldn’t it?

It wasn’t long until the doctor came in.  She was very down to earth and Virginia and I both felt immediately at ease with her.  Score for the introductory appointment! The first thing she did was have the two of us switch places so I’d be across from her for the consultation.  I can’t imagine how she was able to determine so quickly that the patient was me and not my ‘gifted’ friend, Virginia. (Um, yes, I’m totally being sarcastic.  You don’t really know me that well yet so I thought I’d clue you in.)

The doctor interviewed me first.  I think that’s standard protocol, or at least it should be so they can get to know you and therefore know what best suits you boob-wise.  She listened to me explain that I was a 42-year-old mom of two who nursed nearly four years between the two of my children.  She laughed and said that, with most moms nursing an average of six months per child, it’s like I’ve nursed eight kids.  Damn.  Kate Gosselin I am not.  But maybe my boobs are.

And just as we were laughing and feeling very comfortable about the whole thing, she called for my top to come off. (My brain was racing. She had complimented it when she first came in.  Maybe she just wanted to try it on.  Geez … wake up, Michele!)  The moment of truth was here.  I think I actually looked at Virginia at that point and apologized. She offered to leave but I said no.  I’m supposed to be public here.  I mean … not webcam-for-the-blog public … but public in the sense that I wanted other opinions.  I wanted another set of ears hearing everything from the doctor.  Helping me remember everything. And digest everything, for that matter.

With me now topless, we started to get into the nitty gritty of it all.  She measured me to determine where my nipples fell (Again, sorry to my nipple-fearing friend.  You might just need to skip this chapter) and get the whole lay of the land, if you will.  The long and the short of it is that my breasts weren’t the worst things she’s ever seen.  And my nipples weren’t ridiculously low or anything like that. We then proceeded to discuss a worst case scenario or two that made me feel a little better about myself.

So, after seeing my ‘presentation’ and getting to know me a bit, she said she would recommend a lift for me personally.  She explained that, by grabbing everything that had spread out (and down) over the years and clustering it up back together in a higher place on my chest, I was likely to get exactly what I was looking for in boob-wear. My nipples would also be moved up and slightly reduced in size. (FYI to nursing mothers, this procedure does not impede your ability to breastfeed in the future. No nerves or anything else are cut here.) My breasts, now higher and more compact, would in fact appear larger.  She added that, if at a later date I decided I wanted a more substantial size, I could always go back there and slip a pair of implants into the higher, fully healed breasts.

I cannot stress enough how much she encouraged having these two procedures (the lift and the implants) done separately for the sake of healing and minimal scarring. She explained that the incisions made from the lift (described as anchor scars) would be nominal if you don’t overfill the breast at the same time with an implant.  They would only serve to push out against the healing incisions and thus create a more visible scar. And I saw several before and after pictures testifying to this fact.  She further added, as it’s the first place many of us go in our minds, that her costs for doing the two surgeries individually or together are nearly the exact same (as she gives discounts to repeat clients) … but she said many of her patients are so satisfied with the lift that they don’t always return for the additional implant surgery.

We talked a little about implants as well and she said she preferred saline to silicone. I mentioned that I’ve heard silicone seems to be coming back into vogue now but, after so many years of being removed from the market due links to cancer and other health issues, I had no interest in being a guinea pig for the new and improved version. Especially since they’ve only been made available again as an option for the last few years. She agreed.

She also said the exact same thing that I have heard from woman after woman with whom I’ve spoken about this project.

“Don’t go too big!

She said that, particularly on a smaller person like myself, oversized breasts will actually create a look of added weight overall on a woman’s frame.  Yeah, not really what I’m looking for here at all. I already enjoy cheese enough that I don’t need my boobs helping to make me look fat.

So, armed with more knowledge than I knew what to do with … and scared shitless that I needed to go through this process three or four more times …. I left the office with Virginia.  But not before telling the doctor about my online journal.  She loved the idea and its name and encouraged me to come back to visit again if I had more questions or needed explanations about anything.  I’m a big fan of this doctor so far. Of course, I’m not sure what I’m going to decide in the end … but she was a very good place to begin.

My next consultation appointment is Tuesday, September 20.  And I feel like I need to start getting organized already!


Q&A: Why are you considering a boob job and going public about it?

In the four days since ODNT’s introduction, I’ve gotten a good bit of feedback from many people in my life. There have been lots of friends offering up the fist-pumping, you-go-girl types of responses.  I love you, guys.  You make things easy for me here.  Of course, there have also been some genuinely concerned friends who have sought me out either to offer specific instructions regarding this process or to coerce me to reconsider the whole thing.  I love you, guys, too … as I know you’re only looking out for my best interests.  To everyone reading here, let me explain where I’m coming from.

To the why-are-you-getting-a-boob-job question posers, as I’ve already explained, I am unhappy with my post-breastfeeding body and I am merely looking to restore it to its original form.  I am not, repeat NOT, looking to Pamela Anderson-ize myself.  To those who see me regularly, know that I am a card-carrying Victoria’s Secret shopper and I have invested in unbelievably deceptive bras over the years.  Bras that have been advertised with words like “bombshell” and “miraculous.”  When you see me right now, you are not actually seeing me in my natural state. My bras and I are inseparable!  And the change I seek for myself is to achieve the same result and be the same person you see now … only without the costly, ridiculously padded and hot (during the nine-month summers we have in my neck of the woods) undergarments.  Ultimately, the goal is that YOU will not know the difference.  But I will.

To the okay-I-get-the-boob-job-but-why-are-you-going-public-with-everything question posers … As I mentioned to a good friend just today, I want to talk openly about it.  I promise that my story will be sometimes funny, always tasteful and entirely honest.  I hope to educate other women as well as myself very thoroughly, more so than I ever could have if I stayed underground about everything.  Who knows?  I may gather all of the information and decide against the whole damned thing.

I never said there was no EJECT button.

That’s what this project is all about.  Learning about the whole thing together.  Openly and honestly and hopefully laughing our asses off at some of the findings and stories that present themselves along the way.  (Truth be told, I’ve already got a few I can’t wait to tell.)  So, please hang in there with me … even if you think I’m crazy … and let’s see what we can uncover about boob jobs together.


Q&A: Will you be sharing before and after pics on the blog?

No. What am I … nuts? Unlike the other anonymous bloggers out there, my identity is fully public and therefore my assets can’t be. Ironic, isn’t it? Now, that said, if you’re a girl in close enough proximity to me – and you really want to see the results – no problem. Sorry, guys. You’re on your own here. Just remember – I never said I wouldn’t be posting pictures of OTHER people’s boob jobs – the good, the bad and the horribly disfigured.