Tag Archives: Victoria’s Secret

Jogging Bras and Rabid Dogs

I woke up this morning to cooler temps in the high 60s, a good ten degrees lower than it was this time yesterday.  And, unlike the last few months spent living too close to the sun,  I felt inspired to take my run outside today.  My outdoor runs yield a much greater workout than the indoor ones taken on my treadmill.  Seriously, inside there are TVs involved, cellphones, sometimes even a book (only during the wind down part) but still …

Another perk of indoor exercise is that I can run in much more slovenly attire.  T-shirt (optional), standard bra and old gym shorts totally pull the indoor “look” together.  Outside exercise requires a little more attention to detail.  Not only does the world have the privilege of seeing you in all your disgusting and sweaty glory but, since the workout itself is always so much more intense, a jogging bra must come into play here. Mine’s black and it works beautifully.

Of course today, having not put it on in so long, I couldn’t help but notice the difference between what this bra does for me versus my ‘miraculous’ one.  I really need to write Victoria’s Secret a letter. Maybe they’ll ask ME to be in their next televised fashion show. (Oh, close your mouths. I am not that delusional.)

So, now fully garbed in my outside look, I grabbed my phone and set out for my run … looking a heck of a lot like a twelve-year-old boy.  Clearly, I either need to think long and hard about this decision … or perhaps just lobby Victoria’s Secret to manufacture an enhanced running bra.  Maybe it could have an iPhone charger built into the extra padding.

Although, while I was running today … fighting off the beagle attack I encounter nearly every time (I am SO going to make jerky out of that dog one day) … the thought occurred to me that any change I take on will get me out of heavy lifting and exercising for, like, a month or so.  I better double check those numbers.  And maybe the restrictions as well.

Think my family would understand if I was “incapable” of doing laundry, cleaning cat boxes, changing the channels on the remote, brushing my own hair, sitting upright, etc.  Hmmm, I may be on to something …


Q&A: Why are you considering a boob job and going public about it?

In the four days since ODNT’s introduction, I’ve gotten a good bit of feedback from many people in my life. There have been lots of friends offering up the fist-pumping, you-go-girl types of responses.  I love you, guys.  You make things easy for me here.  Of course, there have also been some genuinely concerned friends who have sought me out either to offer specific instructions regarding this process or to coerce me to reconsider the whole thing.  I love you, guys, too … as I know you’re only looking out for my best interests.  To everyone reading here, let me explain where I’m coming from.

To the why-are-you-getting-a-boob-job question posers, as I’ve already explained, I am unhappy with my post-breastfeeding body and I am merely looking to restore it to its original form.  I am not, repeat NOT, looking to Pamela Anderson-ize myself.  To those who see me regularly, know that I am a card-carrying Victoria’s Secret shopper and I have invested in unbelievably deceptive bras over the years.  Bras that have been advertised with words like “bombshell” and “miraculous.”  When you see me right now, you are not actually seeing me in my natural state. My bras and I are inseparable!  And the change I seek for myself is to achieve the same result and be the same person you see now … only without the costly, ridiculously padded and hot (during the nine-month summers we have in my neck of the woods) undergarments.  Ultimately, the goal is that YOU will not know the difference.  But I will.

To the okay-I-get-the-boob-job-but-why-are-you-going-public-with-everything question posers … As I mentioned to a good friend just today, I want to talk openly about it.  I promise that my story will be sometimes funny, always tasteful and entirely honest.  I hope to educate other women as well as myself very thoroughly, more so than I ever could have if I stayed underground about everything.  Who knows?  I may gather all of the information and decide against the whole damned thing.

I never said there was no EJECT button.

That’s what this project is all about.  Learning about the whole thing together.  Openly and honestly and hopefully laughing our asses off at some of the findings and stories that present themselves along the way.  (Truth be told, I’ve already got a few I can’t wait to tell.)  So, please hang in there with me … even if you think I’m crazy … and let’s see what we can uncover about boob jobs together.