Tag Archives: breastfeeding

The Ghosts of ODNT Past


As promised, I’ve been thinking a lot about everything. And reviewing my thoughts from the last (almost) three months.  I sat in a coffee shop for hours recently … sifting through every single one of my blog entries to date … searching for clues of where my real feelings lie.  And I don’t even drink coffee!  Chamomile tea and a banana managed to sustain my right to loiter at the bar on my laptop all that time.

Anyway, over the course of my walk through ODNTs past, I came up with the following little jewels …

  • August 22,2011I sort of feel like I want to reclaim some of who and what I was before becoming a mother. Physically, I was a woman with a flat stomach and boobs in the right place.
  • August 26, 2011I am unhappy with my post-breastfeeding body and I am merely looking to restore it to its original form. I am not, repeat NOT, looking to Pamela Anderson-ize myself.
  • August 31,2011They’ve never been huge. But, at one time, they were at least what I would have called “inflated” … as well as situated correctly on my chest.  (And from later in the same entry)  So I started thinking about it. And checking myself out in front of the mirror, lifting things up to where they used to be. To where they’re supposed to be.
  • September 14, 2011She (Doctor 1) said that, particularly on a smaller person like myself, oversized breasts will actually create a look of added weight overall on a woman’s frame.
  • September 22, 2011She (the mammogram technician) said that, while there are arguments stating that under-the-muscle placement does decrease the odds of an implant causing a visual obstruction in a mammogram, there are still no guarantees that a problem couldn’t form behind that implant and thereby be invisible to the technicians. Cancer cells, tumors and other problems can occur anywhere in the breast tissue so no placement is one hundred percent foolproof.
  • October 8, 2011He (Doctor 5) said that the biggest mistake women make is going too big or too wide. He added that women should look to correct and improve the shape of their breasts and not just be worried about their volume. He actually said smaller breasts are “more elegant,” which I’m pretty sure makes me Audrey Hepburn.
  • October 30, 2011Okay. I’m definitely getting a lift. That’s the one thing every doctor … and even my mom … agreed on.

I feel like I’m finally starting to get a little clarity here.  And I’m finally starting to see the answer through the murky fog and haze.  Maybe.

Does anyone else see it, too?

20120407-223706.jpg

Advertisements

A sudden and unexpected visit back to Doctor 1


Doctor report number NINE. I can’t tell you how much I’m pushing myself to write this one. And … believe it or not … for the first time since this project began, I did not take any notes during this appointment.  I planned to take notes. I even brought my little breast doctor notebook with me, confirmed that I had a functioning pen (there are never any guarantees in my world) and opened both of them as I waited for the doctor to come in. Literally poised to begin scribbling.

But I took none and, thus, we are limited to the confines of my memory for details about this big event.  God help us all.

Anyway … as I mentioned a few days ago, I decided rather spontaneously that (along with Doctors 4&5) I wanted to give Doctor 1 a second visit.  ‘Spontaneously’ is sort of true and sort of not true.  Doctor 1 has never left my mind (and, apparently, the mind of a few other readers as well).  I mentioned that I was still thinking about her as we entered round two (10/20/11)  and even made a follow-up appointment with her office at that time that I was forced to cancel due to a family issue. So, a few days ago, I stopped hemming and hawing about the whole thing and called her office. And she was able to see me immediately. My husband was not able to rearrange his schedule this week to come, so my mom came along for the appointment.

We got there a few minutes late and the staff was already waiting for us so we went right in.  Doctor 1 came in, met my mom and we got to talking about everything immediately. I was pleased/delighted/tickled (whatever, you get the point) to learn that she’s been keeping up with the blog and thus knew a lot of what I’d been told along the way.

I explained to her that I had gotten caught up in “blog fever” and was following the direct path dictated by the voting … but that her name had never left the front burners of my brain. I explained that, while I felt very fortunate to be choosing from two great doctors for a mini-lift/implants combination surgery, her recommendation of a full lift and very possibly no implants sounded like a good option for me as well.

Didn’t I start this whole thing saying I felt saggy from years of breastfeeding?  It’s really problem one that I was (and am) looking to solve.  I never wanted to make myself huge.

My mother and I talked to Doctor 1 about everything we’ve learned so far from the other doctors.  For the record, Doctor 1 is a saline as well as an over-the-muscle believer.  I was on the same page with her on the first point but was unsure about the second.  But we weren’t really talking implants at this point.  We were talking full lifts.  And, while she certainly made me feel as though she’s seen much worse cases than mine in this area, we both agreed that it would be the easiest and least complicated way to get me to my goal of physical, pre-breastfeeding restoration.

Further, she’s not a big proponent at all of the whole mini-lift. She says the crescent incision on the top of the nipple does very little to raise things up and often the nipple stretches to fill in the areas where it was and where it is now creating a rather oversized end result.

I think at this point I actually volunteered to take my top off.  It was the best way for Doctor 1 to explain to my mother the technique involved with the full lift.  So, off came my top and out came her breastmarking pen.  (I’m guessing it must have other uses but who knows?)  Inking in the exact placement of the cuts really enabled both of us to see exactly how things would fall (or rather rise) in place. And this literal blueprint allowed me to bring the proposed plan home to my husband so he’d be in the know about everything, too.

Now, we were ready to see some before and after pictures. Doctor 1 took us into her office and shared them from her computer.  (I want to point out that she is the only doctor who personally handles the “aftertalk” of pictures, finances and other questions with her patients. Everyone else had an assistant. I like this personal touch.) Again, she showed us images of several women who opted merely for a full lift over implants, or perhaps went that route after removing implants from a botched job.  And these ladies all looked great.  Very natural. The higher, more consolidated breast tissue actually seemed (visually) to increase the overall volume on some level.  Or so I thought.  And, with a full lift-only surgery, there would be less risk and overall maintenance.  Definitely something to think about.

My mother asked my husband’s ‘What about insurance and complications arising from elective surgery?’ question. Doctor 1 was very frank. She said ultimately that any complications brought on by this surgery would not be covered by insurance. But then she said a few things that enabled me to exhale.  First of all, she said that every patient who undergoes this and similar procedures in her practice must first submit to a complete physical (in addition to the mammogram required by all other doctors) to rule out the potential for any health anomalies or other irregularities that can occur during surgery.  She said that approximately once a year they discover a health issue in a patient that prevents the surgery from moving forward.  Of course, it’s never a big deal because it is caught beforehand.

Once a patient’s health is cleared through the physical, the chance of a complication arising during the surgery is very slim.  She said that she has had only one person come down with an infection since Katrina (the Hurricane – it’s still how we classify things chronologically in New Orleans – it’s like saying ‘B.C.’ around here) and she was able to treat her quickly and easily with oral antibiotics.  She added that, like the other surgeons we interviewed in round two, she fully guarantees her work and would not charge a patient for any repair or revisions that might be necessary.

I left the office feeling very good about the appointment. I was glad my mom had gotten the chance to meet Doctor 1 and ask her questions but sorry that my husband had missed it.  We walked to the car together and I felt my stomach turn at the thought of writing yet another doctor report.

Oh, and I made a mental note to drive very carefully so as to avoid any kind of accident.  Mothers talk a lot about the importance of ‘clean underwear’ in these situations but I don’t ever remember hearing any warnings about the potential embarrassment of strategically inked-up boobs in a crisis.  And, for the record, I’ve showered three times since this appointment and I’m still wearing the markings.  They’re a little faded but I could still totally demonstrate Doctor 1’s proposed full lift technique in a pinch. (Pardon the pun.)

And now, I need to go think about this whole thing.  A lot.  So much so that I sort of expect my brain to start smoking.

20120407-223706.jpg

Convincing Myself


I grew up in the 80s at a time when cosmetic surgery was really coming into its own.  And I can still remember seeing these early efforts on the handful of face-lifted ladies at our church with stretched out, Bruce Jenner-esqued features as well as on the ridiculously pointy noses of younger WASPy girls from families with way too much money.  And, even though the result was a little alien back then, I can still remember being oddly intrigued by the ability of these women to “correct” what they perceived as their shortcomings through modern medicine.

Girls talk about this kind of stuff.  All girls. “If you could fix one part of your body with plastic surgery, what would you do?”  Everyone has an answer to this question. My nose … my eyes … my stomach … my butt … and, the popular favorite … my boobs.  Whatever.  Never say never, right?

And now, having had two children, both of whom nursed like Dyson vacuum systems, my answer reverberates in my head – my breasts.  They’ve never been huge.  But, at one time,  they were at least what I would have called “inflated” … as well as situated correctly on my chest.  Pregnancy and nursing changes all of that.  And I nursed hippie-style, racking up almost four cumulative years between my two kids.  They say breast is best, right? No regrets there.  But my boobs sure look like crap as a result of my valiant efforts.

So I started thinking about it.  And checking myself out in front of the mirror, lifting things up to where they used to be.  To where they’re supposed to be.  And imagining.  And daydreaming.  Which I did.  A lot.  And then I started hearing about all of my girlfriends over the years who were taking the plunge.  They all looked great.  They were filling out their shirts again.  And buying halters, off-the-shoulders and other little strapless numbers that I can only dream of filling out. So … what was stopping me?

Fear of the procedure itself? Guilt of spending the money? Embarrassment of my vanity?  Well … yes, yes and yes! But it wouldn’t hurt just to look into it, right?  Get some questions answered so I can make an informed decision. And maybe help a few curious others along the way.  So, I’m starting the research now. But I’m still pretty freaked out.  So I figured that going way public about the whole thing would help.  And I started turning to a few friends.

The first two women I talked with seriously about it were two of my oldest friends. One has had augmentation and the other has two of the most naturally huge boobs I’ve ever seen in my life.  I was having drinks with the first on one occasion and lunching with the second on another.  Both conversations eventually turned to boobs (as they all do, right?) and both conversations ended up with me dragging my drinks/lunch date into the public bathroom, locking the door behind us and exposing my “girls.”  (A pretty brave deed considering a popular area restaurant was recently cited for secretly installing web cameras in their women’s bathrooms. But I digress.)

Both of my friends were even more receptive to my talk of breast augmentation once they saw what I had to offer.  Actually, they both said exactly the same thing … that I was precisely the kind of person for whom this surgery was intended.

I felt vindicated and humbled at the same time.

I buttoned up, left the bathroom and made my decision to begin looking into the whole thing. Both times.  I think I’m as excited about the possibility of a change as I am about writing all about it. I’ll be augmenting two parts of me really.  And there’s nothing I won’t discuss about it.  Promise. 🙂

20120407-223706.jpg

Q&A: Why are you considering a boob job and going public about it?


In the four days since ODNT’s introduction, I’ve gotten a good bit of feedback from many people in my life. There have been lots of friends offering up the fist-pumping, you-go-girl types of responses.  I love you, guys.  You make things easy for me here.  Of course, there have also been some genuinely concerned friends who have sought me out either to offer specific instructions regarding this process or to coerce me to reconsider the whole thing.  I love you, guys, too … as I know you’re only looking out for my best interests.  To everyone reading here, let me explain where I’m coming from.

To the why-are-you-getting-a-boob-job question posers, as I’ve already explained, I am unhappy with my post-breastfeeding body and I am merely looking to restore it to its original form.  I am not, repeat NOT, looking to Pamela Anderson-ize myself.  To those who see me regularly, know that I am a card-carrying Victoria’s Secret shopper and I have invested in unbelievably deceptive bras over the years.  Bras that have been advertised with words like “bombshell” and “miraculous.”  When you see me right now, you are not actually seeing me in my natural state. My bras and I are inseparable!  And the change I seek for myself is to achieve the same result and be the same person you see now … only without the costly, ridiculously padded and hot (during the nine-month summers we have in my neck of the woods) undergarments.  Ultimately, the goal is that YOU will not know the difference.  But I will.

To the okay-I-get-the-boob-job-but-why-are-you-going-public-with-everything question posers … As I mentioned to a good friend just today, I want to talk openly about it.  I promise that my story will be sometimes funny, always tasteful and entirely honest.  I hope to educate other women as well as myself very thoroughly, more so than I ever could have if I stayed underground about everything.  Who knows?  I may gather all of the information and decide against the whole damned thing.

I never said there was no EJECT button.

That’s what this project is all about.  Learning about the whole thing together.  Openly and honestly and hopefully laughing our asses off at some of the findings and stories that present themselves along the way.  (Truth be told, I’ve already got a few I can’t wait to tell.)  So, please hang in there with me … even if you think I’m crazy … and let’s see what we can uncover about boob jobs together.

20120407-223706.jpg