As promised, I’ve been thinking a lot about everything. And reviewing my thoughts from the last (almost) three months. I sat in a coffee shop for hours recently … sifting through every single one of my blog entries to date … searching for clues of where my real feelings lie. And I don’t even drink coffee! Chamomile tea and a banana managed to sustain my right to loiter at the bar on my laptop all that time.
Anyway, over the course of my walk through ODNTs past, I came up with the following little jewels …
- August 22,2011 … I sort of feel like I want to reclaim some of who and what I was before becoming a mother. Physically, I was a woman with a flat stomach and boobs in the right place.
- August 26, 2011 … I am unhappy with my post-breastfeeding body and I am merely looking to restore it to its original form. I am not, repeat NOT, looking to Pamela Anderson-ize myself.
- August 31,2011 … They’ve never been huge. But, at one time, they were at least what I would have called “inflated” … as well as situated correctly on my chest. (And from later in the same entry) So I started thinking about it. And checking myself out in front of the mirror, lifting things up to where they used to be. To where they’re supposed to be.
- September 14, 2011 … She (Doctor 1) said that, particularly on a smaller person like myself, oversized breasts will actually create a look of added weight overall on a woman’s frame.
- September 22, 2011 … She (the mammogram technician) said that, while there are arguments stating that under-the-muscle placement does decrease the odds of an implant causing a visual obstruction in a mammogram, there are still no guarantees that a problem couldn’t form behind that implant and thereby be invisible to the technicians. Cancer cells, tumors and other problems can occur anywhere in the breast tissue so no placement is one hundred percent foolproof.
- October 8, 2011 … He (Doctor 5) said that the biggest mistake women make is going too big or too wide. He added that women should look to correct and improve the shape of their breasts and not just be worried about their volume. He actually said smaller breasts are “more elegant,” which I’m pretty sure makes me Audrey Hepburn.
- October 30, 2011 … Okay. I’m definitely getting a lift. That’s the one thing every doctor … and even my mom … agreed on.
I feel like I’m finally starting to get a little clarity here. And I’m finally starting to see the answer through the murky fog and haze. Maybe.
Does anyone else see it, too?
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Tagged "Old Dog New Tits", audrey hepburn, boobs, breast tissue, breastfeeding, breasts, cancer cells, f-word, implant, lift, mammogram, ODNT, one hundred percent foolproof, pamela anderson, tumors, under the muscle
In the four days since ODNT’s introduction, I’ve gotten a good bit of feedback from many people in my life. There have been lots of friends offering up the fist-pumping, you-go-girl types of responses. I love you, guys. You make things easy for me here. Of course, there have also been some genuinely concerned friends who have sought me out either to offer specific instructions regarding this process or to coerce me to reconsider the whole thing. I love you, guys, too … as I know you’re only looking out for my best interests. To everyone reading here, let me explain where I’m coming from.
To the why-are-you-getting-a-boob-job question posers, as I’ve already explained, I am unhappy with my post-breastfeeding body and I am merely looking to restore it to its original form. I am not, repeat NOT, looking to Pamela Anderson-ize myself. To those who see me regularly, know that I am a card-carrying Victoria’s Secret shopper and I have invested in unbelievably deceptive bras over the years. Bras that have been advertised with words like “bombshell” and “miraculous.” When you see me right now, you are not actually seeing me in my natural state. My bras and I are inseparable! And the change I seek for myself is to achieve the same result and be the same person you see now … only without the costly, ridiculously padded and hot (during the nine-month summers we have in my neck of the woods) undergarments. Ultimately, the goal is that YOU will not know the difference. But I will.
To the okay-I-get-the-boob-job-but-why-are-you-going-public-with-everything question posers … As I mentioned to a good friend just today, I want to talk openly about it. I promise that my story will be sometimes funny, always tasteful and entirely honest. I hope to educate other women as well as myself very thoroughly, more so than I ever could have if I stayed underground about everything. Who knows? I may gather all of the information and decide against the whole damned thing.
I never said there was no EJECT button.
That’s what this project is all about. Learning about the whole thing together. Openly and honestly and hopefully laughing our asses off at some of the findings and stories that present themselves along the way. (Truth be told, I’ve already got a few I can’t wait to tell.) So, please hang in there with me … even if you think I’m crazy … and let’s see what we can uncover about boob jobs together.