Wells Fargo is having a contest. A contest that awards money. Which is honestly one of my favorite things in life. It takes me to foreign places, it brings me cheese and it helps me to spoil my kids with things like, I don’t know, socially-acceptable rodents. For that reason, when I saw this contest via Blogher as a means of discussing my lifelong relationship with money … well, I just couldn’t resist writing it a little letter. Enjoy.
I wanted to drop you a quick line to check in and see if everything was okay. Have I offended you in some way? It seems like just a few years ago we hung out every day but now I see less and less of you. Was it because I flaunted the idea of using you frivolously for a boob job? Yes, it’s true. I was considering it but have tabled the idea for a while due to some health problems we discovered.
Honestly, whatever it is that I did, I want to apologize wholeheartedly. You and I have had a pretty solid relationship most of my life. And I felt very close to you until recently. Whenever I’ve needed you, you’ve always been there. Even if you were the last one to show up! Sometimes I think you liked watching me sweat it out a little. 🙂
But now you hardly ever stop by. And, when you do, it’s never for the kind of quality visits we use to have together. Remember the lunches, the pedis, the vacations? You just don’t seem to have time for me anymore. Haven’t I been good to you? Haven’t I always appreciated you?
Please consider coming for a visit when you have a chance. Dave, the kids and I would love to take you to dinner sometime soon.
No, no, no. I did NOT forget about the Jud & Bill Contest. It’s summer so my kids are home 24/7 … and they’re tearing through laundry, food, dishes, my money, my last nerves and hours of my time like Kleenex around here. Plus … have you read these entries? They are so freakin’ good with so much creativity and research put into each one of them that there is NO WAY I could pick a winner myself.
Are you really surprised by this next development?
We’re putting it up for a vote. I’m giving everyone a whole week … because we are ALL busy people … to take a look at the submissions and then vote for the one you think best represents Episode 11. Feel free to elaborate in the comments below their entries or this post as I know the writers would love to hear from you.
Want to catch up on the storyline before reading the entries and voting? Click here for episodes 1-10.
Here are the entries for your voting consideration:
Please take a minute to read ALL of the above before voting. You might want to eat a Saltine or Melba Toast cracker between reading each entry to cleanse your palate properly. Or, better yet, perhaps you could check out the dental blog of my first hate mail – I mean – my old friend to clear your brain between each example of the fine dumbassery exhibited here in these entries today.
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I couldn’t get the stupid poll to center on the page. So … to overcompensate for my computer illiteracy AND to pay homage to the two heroes that inspired this whole contest … I elected to use the cheesiest poll theme offered in WordPress for our post today. Enjoy!
This post is my first-ever attempt at a link-up so please bear with me.
Yesterday, I posted the final episode of the Jud & Bill Brotherly Love series. For those of you just tuning in, click here to catch up on the pair of brothers who accidentally included me on their rather colorful, back-and-forth correspondence for quite a while. And, being the “good samaritan” that I am, I chose not to put an end to it with a polite email to the senders but rather to post all of their personal messages … right here … for your enjoyment and mine.
Anyway, since someone finally caught the error and cut me out of the email loop, we now find ourselves left with burning questions, undeveloped characters and dangling plot lines. This doesn’t sit well with me at all.
So, here’s where YOU come in.
I’m giving you a week to write the NEW final episode of the Jud & Bill series. It can be any length you want. There are NO rules. You can tie up the loose ends by continuing with the current storyline or go off completely on your own tangent. Be creative. (Creative = something that will make me smile, forget my troubles, shake with laughter, have a renewed outlook on life, pee my pants, find religion, run for shelter, whatever.) Then … link it up here.
At the end of next week, I’ll pick a winner OR if I can’t decide (you’ve got to know what’s coming, right?) I’ll put it up for a vote. Oh, and if you want to play but don’t have a blog to link up, email it to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’ll post it myself and link it up. Assuming I can actually do that. God, I hope this works. (sweat, sweat)
The winner will get a small token of my appreciation sent to him or her personally … that is, if you’re willing to give me your home address. (Cue maniacal cackling) Best of luck to all of you.
This link-up doesn’t require a backlink to this post (only because I’m too stupid to figure it out) but I sure would appreciate one in your post. And, remember, I AM on the panel of judges.
(I couldn’t have a won a contest at wittywoman.com or funnymom.com. Nope. I had to win at itsalldownhillfromhere.com. …. Just kidding, midlifecollage. I love you guys!)
I entered a story that was first published right here at ODNT called The Day Things Got Hairy at Disney World. Remember? And I want to thank my friend, Mel, at According to Mags for pushing me to write it all down, Disney World for offering up its malfunctioning ride as the backdrop for the story and, most importantly, my boy for embarrassing the snot out of me in the first place.