They Wrote Back! The Dairy Company Wrote Back!

Well, we’ve certainly written our share of letters so far this year, haven’t we? Remember the one to AMC about airing a vibrator ad during a prime time showing of The Polar Express the day after Christmas??? Or the one to Kids-in-Mind (who’s supposed to help gauge a movie’s child-appropriateness) for forgetting to warn us that the Easter Bunny is outed in We Bought a Zoo? I contacted those organizations by email and by phone and never heard a word back. AMC even acknowledged the problem over the phone saying they’d had multiple complaints about the same issue and that someone would be getting back to me very shortly. And then nothing happened.

Shame, shame, shame.

Well, I’m here to tell you that I have no such words of shame for Kleinpeter Dairy. I wrote them an email yesterday. I didn’t even send it until about 1:30pm. And I immediately got an auto-response email from a milkbot. (I wonder if they’re related to mechanical bulls.) Then, by 2:30pm, I got another email, this time from Jeff Kleinpeter, the president and overlord of all things milk and milk-related.

Seriously, Alec Baldwin, I think you’ve been majorly dethroned.

Check out Mr. Kleinpeter’s awesome response.

Hi Michele,

Thank you for your email. Seriously, we want to know what our customers go through and experience out there. And, you got the “boss,” ’cause the buck stops here….really!

What it sounds like is that the gallon of milk you purchased was exposed to excessive heat somewhere. What we do in these instances is we first ask if we can replace the product and bring you some extra goodies for your troubles, like ice cream or orange juice. We also ask from which store you purchased your milk.


We have been experiencing marginal coolers out there in the market place, and we like to bring this to the attention of the store management team right away, because that cooler will be affecting everyone’s milk, not just Kleinpeter. So far this summer, and it isn’t even hot yet, we have had 5 store coolers with problems, and many customers have been unhappy….

So, please tell us which store you purchased this from, and we’ll go there within the hour and check it.

And, I know you didn’t want to, but saving the milk so we could check it in our Certified lab would have been nice, but I would not have kept the stinky thing either, and someone may have drunk more out of it, in the middle of the night, half asleep…..yes, my wife gets caught ’cause I see the lipstick on the rim of the jug….

We’ll be glad to help you, and give me that store name please. One of my associates with be in touch with you today!


Jeff K

Jeff Kleinpeter
Kleinpeter Farms Dairy, L.L.C.

Well, sure. I’ll probably get him in trouble with his wife for posting this letter but … even though he does know about the blog … he’s never asked for the web address. Which is probably for the best considering it has the word ‘tits’ in it. Except that maybe I could convince him that it’s pronounced ‘teats.’ That would probably earn me some extra points with a dairy company.

Anyway … as if this great letter wasn’t enough, I then got a phone call around 4:30 yesterday afternoon from a local representative. He asked me all kinds of questions about where I bought the milk, the temperature of our refrigerator, how old I was when I learned to ride a bike … you know, the usual stuff. Then he asked if I would be home tomorrow (which is today) around 10 in the morning. And I, of course, said YES (!!!!) … knowing that whatever else I had planned could wait.

The freakin’ milkman was making a house call. To me. How many people in our generation can say that?


Here he is … standing in my kitchen.


He replaced the gallon of skim milk and brought a little something extra, too. Kleinpeter = Awesome.

I still need to reply to the president’s email tomorrow. I like those people. A lot. And I fully intend to ask Mr. Kleinpeter for a job. I love writing. And I  love milk. Ergo … it stands to reason that I would love writing about milk.



26 responses to “They Wrote Back! The Dairy Company Wrote Back!

  1. Les Nettleton

    As usual, I’m howling!

  2. Coolest response ever!
    Maybe you could get them to subsidize your implants as a publicity stunt? (yes, I remember how this all started, way back when…)
    Granted, you may need a small doohicky so you could squirt Kleinpeters milk at store openings and county fairs, but still…

  3. Moooove over Jeff K, Michele P, the Teat Girl wants to be your “Elsie” (sorry, another brand, I know)… come on, let her, trust her… after all feeding her kids from her own teats and then transitioning them to something as wholesome from another’s teats is the reason why she buys your products. Not to mention her own teats are the reason why she has this blog. Michele knows teats! and she knows the stuff that comes out of them!

  4. I am officially switching to Kleinpeter!!!

  5. That’s a great letter, and says a lot about their desire to keep quality product on the shelves!

  6. That’s so cool. I did the same to a local juice company after buying an acidic bottle of apple juice. No housecall, but got a replacement bottle and a free T-shirt and lots of nice emails from the quality control manager – we’re almost besties.

  7. Wow! I am switching to Kleinpeter too. That is amazing.

  8. Wasnt it always the milkman that use to boff the housewives while their husbands were at work? And your blog has “tits” in it. Coincidence?

  9. OMG He came to your house!!!!!

  10. My faith in humanity is now completely restored. Who knew it only took a gallon of milk?

  11. I love the response letter. I also love the milkman let you take his picture and he smiled!

  12. I wish they carried Kleinpeter in Madison, WI, because I would definitely switch. Amazingly personal response. This harks back to a time when people didn’t just go into business to make a buck and then sell off the company to make MORE money… when customer service meant doing the right thing, not just sending a form letter to get the complaint out of their “in” box. Kudos to you, too, my dear, because I also write letters when I am either dissatisfied with a company, or when an employee does something very well. Excellent post, OD! Amy

  13. Thanks, Amy. I wonder if Mr. Kleinpeter would consider opening a farm in Wisconsin. Perhaps YOU could serve as the copywriter for that location and I’ll handle Louisiana. 🙂

  14. You cant work for mr kleinpeter because I want to work for mr kleinpeter.

    Ok we can work together.

    Seriously, his email is all up in the awesomesauceness.

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