Tag Archives: letter

They Wrote Back! The Dairy Company Wrote Back!

Well, we’ve certainly written our share of letters so far this year, haven’t we? Remember the one to AMC about airing a vibrator ad during a prime time showing of The Polar Express the day after Christmas??? Or the one to Kids-in-Mind (who’s supposed to help gauge a movie’s child-appropriateness) for forgetting to warn us that the Easter Bunny is outed in We Bought a Zoo? I contacted those organizations by email and by phone and never heard a word back. AMC even acknowledged the problem over the phone saying they’d had multiple complaints about the same issue and that someone would be getting back to me very shortly. And then nothing happened.

Shame, shame, shame.

Well, I’m here to tell you that I have no such words of shame for Kleinpeter Dairy. I wrote them an email yesterday. I didn’t even send it until about 1:30pm. And I immediately got an auto-response email from a milkbot. (I wonder if they’re related to mechanical bulls.) Then, by 2:30pm, I got another email, this time from Jeff Kleinpeter, the president and overlord of all things milk and milk-related.

Seriously, Alec Baldwin, I think you’ve been majorly dethroned.

Check out Mr. Kleinpeter’s awesome response.

Hi Michele,

Thank you for your email. Seriously, we want to know what our customers go through and experience out there. And, you got the “boss,” ’cause the buck stops here….really!

What it sounds like is that the gallon of milk you purchased was exposed to excessive heat somewhere. What we do in these instances is we first ask if we can replace the product and bring you some extra goodies for your troubles, like ice cream or orange juice. We also ask from which store you purchased your milk.


We have been experiencing marginal coolers out there in the market place, and we like to bring this to the attention of the store management team right away, because that cooler will be affecting everyone’s milk, not just Kleinpeter. So far this summer, and it isn’t even hot yet, we have had 5 store coolers with problems, and many customers have been unhappy….

So, please tell us which store you purchased this from, and we’ll go there within the hour and check it.

And, I know you didn’t want to, but saving the milk so we could check it in our Certified lab would have been nice, but I would not have kept the stinky thing either, and someone may have drunk more out of it, in the middle of the night, half asleep…..yes, my wife gets caught ’cause I see the lipstick on the rim of the jug….

We’ll be glad to help you, and give me that store name please. One of my associates with be in touch with you today!


Jeff K

Jeff Kleinpeter
Kleinpeter Farms Dairy, L.L.C.

Well, sure. I’ll probably get him in trouble with his wife for posting this letter but … even though he does know about the blog … he’s never asked for the web address. Which is probably for the best considering it has the word ‘tits’ in it. Except that maybe I could convince him that it’s pronounced ‘teats.’ That would probably earn me some extra points with a dairy company.

Anyway … as if this great letter wasn’t enough, I then got a phone call around 4:30 yesterday afternoon from a local representative. He asked me all kinds of questions about where I bought the milk, the temperature of our refrigerator, how old I was when I learned to ride a bike … you know, the usual stuff. Then he asked if I would be home tomorrow (which is today) around 10 in the morning. And I, of course, said YES (!!!!) … knowing that whatever else I had planned could wait.

The freakin’ milkman was making a house call. To me. How many people in our generation can say that?


Here he is … standing in my kitchen.


He replaced the gallon of skim milk and brought a little something extra, too. Kleinpeter = Awesome.

I still need to reply to the president’s email tomorrow. I like those people. A lot. And I fully intend to ask Mr. Kleinpeter for a job. I love writing. And I  love milk. Ergo … it stands to reason that I would love writing about milk.



A Letter to Kleinpeter Dairy Fairms

May 1, 2012

Dear Kleinpeter Dairy,

I have been a faithful customer for many, many years. My college roommate first introduced me to your product testifying that your “skim milk was better” than all the others and it “tasted like 2%” because you “use Guernsey cows.” I remember thinking “Whatever” because I had no problem with the taste of the then always-watery-and-oddly-blue skim milk to which I’d become accustomed. Plus, I had no idea what a Guernsey cow was anyway. I was in college studying Journalism, not Animal Sciences … or would it be Bovinology?  The closest I came to anything cow-related was knowing co-eds who claimed to have gone cow-tipping. I never went. I’m scared of a fly, for God’s sake. And it seemed WAY mean to me. I’m pro-cow. Goooooo, cow!

Anyway, that was (cough, sputter) twenty years ago. And now, I’m happy to report that you’re the milk of choice in my house.  You were one of the first to advertise your disassociation with the rBGH growth hormone which, as a mom, won me over immediately. What the heck were these dairy farmers thinking, pumping their cows … and thus our children … with these bulk-inducing, cancer-causing, birth-defect-creating hormones?

Like I said, unless I can’t find your product in the store, Kleinpeter is what I take home in my overpacked, squeaky-wheeled grocery cart every week, sometimes twice a week if it’s a thirsty one. And we’ve never had any problems … until now.

I purchased a gallon of Kleinpeter skim milk on April 25 that listed an expiration date of May 6. We didn’t open it until the previous gallon was finished which was yesterday, April 30, still six days prior to expiration.

And it was the oddest gallon of “milk” I have ever seen.

Strangely enough, it didn’t have much of an odor which enabled me to investigate it more thoroughly than I probably should have without becoming ill. The milk was not white but cream-colored and VERY thick. And chunky.  Just pouring it down the drain was harder than digging ditches. I had to get all up in the jug which, as you can imagine, was a bit of a dirty job. (Hey, somebody call Mike Rowe!)

It was like having a gallon of yogurt in the house. And why you would ever need a gallon of yogurt? Maybe if you were running a Greek restaurant. Or fighting off the mother of all yeast infections. (Have I gone too far?) In any event, it was gross. And, while I am not asking for any financial compensation in return for my trouble, I would like to request a response to my letter as I keep a blog on such things and am posting my letter to you. I’d love to share your response.

As you can see, we don’t take ourselves too seriously around here so feel free to answer as candidly as your mood … and your boss … allows.

Thanks again for your time and … Keep On Milkin’!