pack·ing /’pak-ING/ – vacation preparation; the action or process of reminding me that I did not diet at all but rather somehow managed to gain weight prior to the aforementioned vacation and therefore can now be found crying, hiding and cursing audibly on the floor in the closet
Yes, that’s right. I’m leaving tomorrow for Chicago. Remember? My girl made a video to help everyone recognize me at the conference. The trip and the company are sure to be fantastic. Unfortunately, prior to this little respite in my crazy summer, I need to take on the one activity that is sure to be made my eternal assignment as I pass through the Gates of Hell. Packing. I loathe it so. Which is ironic considering how much I love to travel.
What have I done do far?
Well … I got the suitcases down from the attic. (No, they are not even unzipped yet.) Also, I put the clothes from the dryer onto the bed. (Well, yes, the laundry hamper is still brimming.) Did I mention that I also need to pack both of my kids for a little getaway they’re taking in my absence? Oh, wait. And I made this little video. I’m calling it Episode One of the ODNT Procrastination Videos.
To all the people reading who know me personally, please keep trusting me to watch your children. Mine are turning out okay … aren’t they?
Truth? I made two other videos. Perhaps I’ll “release” them later. Milo and I were having a blast. But I had to stop myself … and start packing! I figured I should start by making a list. Maybe you guys can help me. I’ll go first and you can add your suggestions in the comments. You know I’m completely serious, right?
- Dresses – And I need to find ones that make me look neither fat, old, sloppy nor poor. (Sigh)
- Shoes – Cute, comfortable ones plus others that will piss me off but give the illusion that I’m tall, interesting and glamorous.
- Underwear/bras/pajamas – I’ll have a roommate (Mel) so I need to bring my best stuff then try to pass it off as “everyday.”
- Heinz 57 ketchup costume – It’s slimming, wrinkle-resistant and it goes with everything
- Purple pen – For all the autographs I will be signing.
- Make-up – To augment the smoke and mirrors of #2.
- Flat iron – If my house was on fire, it’s the first thing I’d grab after the kids. (Sorry, Dave & Milo.)
- Laptop & iPhone – Let’s be honest. I should’ve listed these essentials before clothes.
- Jewelry – Or in my case “jewelry,” considering one of my necklaces was a party favor of Vivien’s that she wanted to throw away.
- My tickets to see THE CONJURING – Damn it. I’m not going to sleep for weeks. Guess I should also pack some under eye concealer for the bags I’ll be sporting after that freakin’ movie!
Oh, yeah. And Mel suggested I bring a bathing suit. In case we want to swim in the pool. (pause to let your mouth hang open a minute like mine did) Seriously? Have you seen that fool? There’s no way I’m standing next to her in a bathing suit. And don’t even get me started on my hair. Besides the fact that I just colored it so the pool would look like a crime scene, the whole curly-to-straight thing doesn’t just happen. (I said … IT DOESN’T JUST HAPPEN, MEL!!!) But I digress …. what am I forgetting? … what am I forgetting? …
WHAT AM I FORGETTING?!!?
OldDogNewTits 
See you in Chicago..
BTW.. my flat iron would be high on my list of dear god I can’t leave the house without it.
Also, nothing makes You look fat (not) sloppy(so not!) or poor. But bring the heels.. I want a picture of the heels oof BlogHer. 😉
Sade travels
Ummm other shower items.. ya know soap, toothbrush, toothpaste.. Sorry but I never use what the hotel offers. Guarantee to be the shampoo that makes my hair more afroish causing me to resemble a large french poodle that walks like humans..
Toiletries!!! Oh, shit!!!
Just kidding. I’ve got ’em. Thanks though. I’m known for forgetting things.
Coming to parties tonight? I’ll be there!
With you there it’s going to be impossible for Blogher13 to be boring. Look out Chicago!
Chargers for the iPhone and laptop, meds/first aid–maybe those are in with your toiletries already? (we always pack a small bag with things like band-aids, Benadryl, Immodium, Pepto, –those last two especially because if you really need those, you really don’t want to have to go out to buy them).
Again probably covered in the toiletries dept, but because I have forgotten these items more than once: razor, contact lens case/solution (if you need those) and a spare pair of contacts, glasses (again, if you need them), sunglasses, deodorant, lotion.
I keep a list of things that I will need for every trip saved on my computer so I can refer to it every time we go somewhere. I just add location specific items as needed.