This weekend, my friend Melissa and I participated in an event here in New Orleans aptly titled the Million Milf March. A two-day party benefiting the Friends in Need Foundation, the MMM was created and coordinated by a fellow writer & crazy person who goes by the name Hot Mess Mom (HMM). Funny thing is that she’s anything but. Clearly, this chick has run the show a few times before in her life.
The MMM weekend kicked off with a big party Friday night at Fulton on Tap. (For my New Orleans friends, that’s where The 12 Bar used to be.) There was a lot of great local food, booze, a live band and a charity auction. But I wasn’t there. I know. WHAT a loser. HMM’s going to have some pictures on her site soon. Tell her I said hi when you stop by to check them out.
Anyway … Saturday was a different story. We were there. All day. Melissa and I volunteered at the registration table so we got to Ernst Cafe bright and early at 8:30am. We took this picture as soon as we got there.
And I texted it to my mom and a few friends.
Obviously, I didn’t accurately explain where I was going to my friends and family.
We started with a couple of Bloody Marys, which hit the spot in the 120 degree heat. It was HMM’s 40th birthday so the fun had already started before we even got there. Plus, her husband surprised her by flying in for the event. (I know. Awww.) And Melissa and I sweated it out checking in lots of enthusiastic women (and men) over the next several hours.
The first hour of the pub crawl was held right there at Ernst Cafe. It was the perfect spot to get everyone warmed up for the next stop just down the street. The second hour was spent at the Red Eye and, clearly, the bartenders were more than ready for us. My brother lives around the corner so he met up with everybody at that point and just about fell over laughing when he saw what was going on inside.
This one’s my brother, by the way. He totally had his pants on the whole time.
Oh, and there were some incredible hula hoop dancers there. These ladies were soooo freakin’ good.
And they managed to get one of the bartenders out on the floor. It’s a pretty hilarious nine seconds.
And we still weren’t done. The third hour of the pub crawl was hosted by the Howlin’ Wolf, which is a premier music venue in the city who showed us all a great time. Where nobody took their pants off.
The last stop on the tour was Generations Hall who hosted the closing party with lots of food, Abita beer, music & dancing.
Plus a few other special activities. First, the lesson …
And then the test. Gravity really deserves all of the credit here. Sad, huh? Not only can I scratch this one off my career choices, but now I can’t even run for President!
Oh, yeah! And the photo booth. I almost forgot the photo booth. The first set is my brother and me. And the second is the two of us plus Melissa and her pal, Brian. What a buncha doofs …
Thanks, Hot Mess Mom, for such a fun day! Can’t wait ’til next year.
Now … Who’s coming WITH me?
OldDogNewTits 
Oh my God! Anybody bring their 17 yr.old daughter? I’m guessing not
ME! BRING ME!!
Some brave bartenders down there in NOLA…
Looks like a blast! Was that your brother yelling “Do it!” while you were getting your tutorial? If so, I bets it’s the only time he’d ever encourage you to “Do it!” 😉
No, that was Brian, the other guy in our photo booth reel. Because he had just done it. Very well, I might add.
But you are absolutely right. 🙂
That was def. a crazy day!!! Lots of fun. And I would still vote for you for President. We have served under worse. teehee.
Ladies and gentlemen, my beautiful and fun friend, Melissa.
THIS IS BANANAS. BOOKING A FLIGHT FOR NEXT YEAR!
I wish my girls could have been there. I think.
I would totally do that! (He said, carefully not saying what.)
That looks like so much fun!
hope you used old dog new tits as a stage name.
my wife saw this before you. expect her to want a trip to nawlins, soon
What a sight, a half naked bartender doing the hula hoop! Can’t wait to join you next year!
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guurrrllll… I am still not recovered.. . what a great weekend. So glad you were able to join!!
Just a typical weekend in New Orleans, y’all. … Well, sorta.I’m here, waiting for next year’s. (pouty face)
I’ve always wanted to do a pub crawl. They have them here in Charleston but I’ve never been. However, if I get to see naked bartender butt, I might just have to make it a priority. LOL. Visiting from speakeasy!
Oh, super fun-ness! Yay for you guys!
Hahah those are some pictures! What a blast!
This totally reminds me of NO on Halloween! I’d probably pass out…
As much as I love the stripper pole dance…I think my favorite was the text to/from your mom. LOL! I will definitely be joining in the fun next year.
Hilarious! The butts! The text from your mom! This looks like a lot of fun.
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