Dear Toby (for Trifextra)

Posted on April 14, 2012 | 34 comments

It’s Trifextra Weekend Challenge time.

This weekend’s rules: Entrants must write a letter of apology in 33 words exactly. Addresses, salutations, closings, etc. do not count in the 33 words.

Wanna help pick the winners? Click here between Sunday 8pm EST and Monday 8am EST to vote for your top three.

* * * * * * * * * *

Dear Toby,

I never should’ve allowed them to convince me to leave the room, because I was pregnant, while you were being put down. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, boy. You deserved better.

Regretfully,

Michele

* * * * * * * * * *

20120414-125944.jpg

RIP Toby (1987 – 2002)

20120407-223706.jpg

34 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , ,

Against the Grain (for Trifecta)

Posted on April 12, 2012 | 14 comments

I’m dedicating today’s post to the Honda Corporation. Thanks to a recent recall made on my Pilot, I’m able to participate in the latest Trifecta Weekly Challenge.  Until this morning, I had resigned myself to the fact that I would be sitting this one out … until … I had to wait so long in the ‘customer lounge’ for my shuttle ride home.  So, here’s what I was doing while the lady on my left watched The Price is Right and the guy on my right read NASCAR Illustrated. You be the judge as to which one of us made the best use of his or her time.

RULES: All entries must be between 33 and 333 words and need to include the following word using its third definition (both listed below).

scan·dal noun \ˈskan-dəl\

* * * * * * * * * *

Against the Grain

* * * * * * * * * *

He checked his wrist watch and fidgeted in his chair. “We need to get started,” he thought, worriedly. “Where is she?” He scanned the crowd and, still unsatisfied, stood to get a better view of everything.

Then he saw her.

“The last one here, as always,” he smiled to himself, as he watched her walk down the long aisle to take her usual spot in the third row. His eyes stayed fixed upon her as she glided into her seat.

He couldn’t really pinpoint what first created the spark. She seemed to have a radiant glow all about her. He wondered if anyone else could feel her warmth and light. He caught himself smiling in her direction, lingering a little too long on her face, when her eyes met his directly. She returned his smile, waking him from his trance and forcing him to divert his attention to the other faces around him. He made sure to offer them the same enthusiastic demeanor so as not to arouse any suspicion.

How had he let it continue for so long? Nearly three years had passed since he’d first arrived and been introduced to her. And each week he excitedly anticipated being able to see her again, all the while trying to maintain his secret. And seeing her now, he knew that it had been far too long. Today he would make his move, no matter what the consequences, to determine if her feelings matched his own. It was a risk that could gravely injure him and would forever brand him as a scandal to his vocation. But the suspense would surely kill him sooner.

He smoothed the emerald green stole on his shoulders and approached the pulpit to greet his congregation, comforted in the fact that today’s mass would be his last.

* * * * * * * * * *

20120407-223706.jpg

14 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , ,

Let’s embarrass me. Topic: Famous Crushes

Posted on April 11, 2012 | 43 comments

For most of you, last weekend was merely the Easter holidays. In my household, however, we also celebrated another big event – the premiere of a new iCarly episode. They’re like red carpet affairs around here and my kids wouldn’t dream of missing one. Fortunately for them, I actually like iCarly. It’s clever and pop-cultured for my generation. And don’t even get me started on Spencer. The man slays me. So, in addition to our usual Easter Eve traditions, my family also took in this new episode, featuring the latest and greatest teen sensation, One Direction.

Later that same night, they were on TV a second time as the SNL musical guest. They’re just starting to take off in America and I’ve decided to excuse the fact that they’re classified as a boy band because their British/Irish accents are so cute. I suspect we’ll be seeing them covering bedroom walls everywhere very soon. (I miss Tiger Beat.)

Anyway, it made me start thinking about all of the famous faces I’ve fallen for over the years. Some names have stood the test of time while others … well, I’ll let my teenage bedroom walls do the talking.
20120411-132154.jpg

What can I say? My parents were obviously very cool.

20120411-132149.jpg

So, at the expense of my dignity, I’m sharing a sometimes-embarrassing-but-always-honest glimpse at some of my favorites over the years. Please enjoy laughing at my childhood.

Donny Osmond (1976-79) And I’m not ashamed to admit it.

Shaun Cassidy (1977-78) Okay, I’m a little ashamed.

Christopher Reeve (1978-1983) Who doesn’t love SUPERman?

Greg Evigan (1979-81) He worked with a chimp. What was not to like?

John Schneider (1979-82) Don’t judge. He was the style at the time.

Christopher Atkins (1980) Remember the naked guy from Blue Lagoon?

Rick Springfield (1981-85) For his music and the General Hospital thing. Truth be told, I just saw him again in concert in 2008. Oh, and in 2009 & 2010.

Maxwell Caulfield (1982) Remember the British guy from Grease 2? Yeah, me neither. When I learned he was married to an actress who was 18 years his senior, I moved on. He was 23 and she was 41. I guess Demi isn’t quite the pioneer she’s credited to be.

John Stamos (1982-83+) As long as I was already watching General Hospital, right? And he’s actually one of the few who still hangs on for me today. He’s just so pretty.

Adam Ant (1982-84) I loved his two big albums of the early 80s and some of the earlier Antmusic stuff. Alas, I never got to see him in concert when he came to New Orleans. I had a ticket to the show but was punished (for a sizable infraction, I might add) that very night. Fortunately, I somehow managed to pick up the pieces and get on with my life.

Duran Duran (1982-85) All five of ’em. I once won a contest for being able to rattle off the names Simon Le Bon, Nick Rhodes and the Taylors (Andy, Roger & John) in rapid succession. None of the Taylor boys are related. You know these things if you’re a real D2 fan.

Rob Lowe & C. Thomas Howell (1983) I saw The Outsiders four times at the movie theater. And with prices averaging $3.15 per ticket that year, that means I spent more than $12 on that one film! I can still recite from memory every word of the Robert Frost poem used in the movie. But I honestly never saw the allure of the other five guys. I don’t think they did much of anything else after that anyway, right? (Wink.)

Bart Conner & Mitch Gaylord (1984) What? I had Olympic fever. I think it was very patriotic of me.

Kevin Bacon (1984) But only in Footloose.

David Lee Roth (1985-87) From VH’s Jump to his own Just A Gigolo. I have no idea why. Please forgive me.

Davy Jones (1986-87) Thanks to MTV’s decision to air his old series. I loved these guys and even managed to see them in concert on a few reunion tours. (ODNT Trivia – They played, ironically, at the Audubon Zoo here in NOLA back in the day and one lucky girl got to kiss him for a photo. Guess who? Don’t tell my Dad!)

Harry Connick, Jr. (1990-93+) An amazing New Orleans talent who actually ran in similar circles to mine in high school. I listened to his music a lot back then and even used it at my wedding. And I loved his stint as ‘Leo’ on Will & Grace. He still hangs on for me today, too.

Johnny Depp (1993+) I’m not even going to put an end date here as he’s stayed at the top of the list. He didn’t catch my attention in Elm Street or Jump Street. But once he appeared in the back-to-back films Benny & Joon and What’s Eating Gilbert Grape I was sold. And I’m still buying nearly 20 years later.

Brad Pitt (1998) But only in Meet Joe Black (which oddly I never even saw in its entirety). Although all of his post-Katrina New Orleans work has put him back on the list in recent years.

Ewan McGregor (2001-2003) His song and dance stuff like Moulin Rouge & Down with Love are what put him on the list.

Orlando Bloom (2003-2007) But only in the Pirates movies. He’s Johnny Depp, Jr.

Sportacus (2004) From the God-awful children’s show, LazyTown. Not the (Icelandic) actor, the character. Make of that whatever you want.

Hugh Jackman (2004+) And, oddly, it all began with his unpredictable turn to play Peter Allen in the Broadway production of The Boy from Oz. What can I say? I love a song and dance man. Apparently, even a flamboyantly bedazzled one.

Patrick Dempsey (2007) But only in Enchanted.

Zac Efron (2007) He’s the new Rob Lowe.

Will Arnett (2009) It wasn’t until after Arrested Development ended that I learned to really appreciate this guy. Sorry, GOB.

Robert Downey, Jr. (2009) Honestly, he’s probably been on and off the list for years, but I’ve only recently started to admit it.

Bret McKenzie (2009+) The cuter half of Flight of the Conchords.

Robert Pattinson (2009) When my friend dragged me unwillingly to see New Moon. Fine, whatever. I’m Team Edward.

Josh Duhamel (2010) Starting with Ramona & Beezus. And my girl wonders why I’m willing to watch that movie again and again with her.

Flynn Rider (2010) From Tangled. What? Is it THAT weird that I’m including a cartoon character? You know what? Don’t answer that.

John Gordon Levitt (2011+) Based purely on his likable character in 50/50.

Wow. You’re still here? Well, if you actually made it through MY whole list, I want to know about YOU. Who was on YOUR walls? Boys can play, too.

* * * * * * * * * *

Wanna see this post in dreamy Tiger Beat technicolor? Click here, ODNT readers!

20120407-223706.jpg

20120801-121224.jpg

43 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Just in time for Easter – The Waiting is the Hardest Part (for Trifextra)

Posted on April 7, 2012 | 26 comments

Trifextra Weekend Challenge + Easter = Today’s post

The rules this weekend are a little different. All entries must be between 33 and 333 words and need to include the following three words in the order provided:

  • cacophony
  • soap
  • insects
I based my entry this week on a single photograph. And I’m dedicating it to the child in that photograph.

* * * * * * * * * *

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

* * * * * * * * * *

The cacophony of children could be heard throughout the mall. Melissa approached the intimidating line. “Maybe it won’t take that long,” she thought. “And I’ll be glad to have this picture when he’s older.”

She parked her stroller in the designated area and stepped into the line. It snaked back and forth through a maze leading up to the Great Rabbit. “Please make it move fast,” she thought, content that her son was distracted by all the festivity. She trudged along mindlessly until she heard the first whimper.

“Alright, buddy. Let’s see what Mommy has in her bag,” she said, trying to sound upbeat. “Ooh, look!” She pulled out the brightly-colored soap set she’d just purchased at the department store. They looked like six-legged insects. She knew they were just the thing to make bath time fun for her little man and his bug obsession.

Excitedly, he took one and examined each of its legs, antennae and wings, passing it from one hand to the other. Moving through the line, Melissa reveled in her ingenuity … until he put it in his mouth. And his face went immediately sour.

She knew she had about ten seconds before the crying started. So she tossed him his sippy cup, mercifully filled with apple juice, and began searching frantically for another distraction in her bag of tricks.

Then, she struck gold.

His orange pan. His Bear in the Big Blue House pan. He took it everywhere. He’d given it to her at lunch and must have forgotten about it. “Ta-da!” Melissa announced triumphantly.

His face broke into a huge smile that ran from one adorable cheek to the other. “Pan!” he shouted.

She handed it to him, puffed with pride at her quick action, until he asked for its accompanying ‘patula,’ which she remembered seeing on the kitchen floor as they ran out the door that morning.

“Well, crap,” she thought, surrendering her now crying child to the stupid bunny.

Click! went the camera.

* * * * * * * * *

20120407-150627.jpg

Easter 2001

* * * * * * * * * *

The story is fiction, but the picture is real. Thanks for serving as my inspiration today, my boy. Happy Easter to you and to your sister! Oh, and props to Tom Petty for helping me out with my title.

20120407-223706.jpg

26 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Don’t read this post if you already know me. This one’s for strangers. Seriously, why are you still here?

Posted on April 6, 2012 | 9 comments

My friends at Trifecta want to know their writers. And they want their writers to know each other. Enter this meme.

Now, for those of you who have no idea what a meme is, please allow me to elaborate. Don’t feel bad. I had to look it up myself the first time I heard it. (Actually, it was like the eighth time. I just nodded and acted like I knew what the speaker was talking about the first seven times.) The word ‘meme’ has several meanings. The one we’re concerned with here as defined by the Urban Dictionary, is “in blogspeak, an idea that is spread from blog to blog.” Yes, I am fully aware of how much cooler I just became in all of your eyes.

So, this meme was created by Trifecta to serve as an ice breaker among the writers in these circles. Here’s how it works:

  • Step one – I complete the form.
  • Step two – I link it up to their site under Meet Your Fellow Trifectans.
  • Step three – Other writers can click on it to see what makes me tick … which, let’s be honest, is mostly cheese, my kids and things that make me laugh out loud, whether they’re intended to or not.

I still can’t believe that they didn’t ask things like my astrological sign, my hat size or my favorite Brady Bunch character. Wouldn’t that be much more interesting for everyone? But they’re higher brow than myself. They want to know what inspires us all. I did the best I could, Trifecta. I don’t take myself too seriously … so why should anyone else?

  1. What is your name (real or otherwise)? OldDogNewTits or ODNT in these circles but you can also just call me Michele, if you feel ridiculously stupid using that handle.
  2. Describe your writing style in three words. Tongue-in-cheek. I’m not sure that’s actually three words, since it’s hyphenated. So, if I had to include two more, I’d love it if they were “honest” and “empathetic” but I would also accept “peanut-buttery” or “heart-healthy.”
  3. How long have you been writing online? The ODNT blog went public in August 2011.
  4. Which, if any, other writing challenges do you participate in? I recently submitted something to NPR and am always actively seeking other opportunities. Suggestions are welcome.
  5. Describe one way in which you could improve your writing. Elongating my better projects.
  6. What is the best writing advice you’ve ever been given? To do it as much as possible and put myself out there.
  7. Who is your favorite author? I’ve recently become attached to an up and coming writer. By chance, we live under the same roof. She’s only 9 but she shows real promise. (And I couldn’t be prouder.)
  8. How do you make time to write? By shirking all of my regular responsibilities.
  9. Give us one word we should consider using as a prompt. Remember–it must have a third definition. Geez, I don’t know. Saccharine? Caustic? Saturate? Gamy? Ample? Edgy? Observe?
  10. Direct us to one blog post of yours that we shouldn’t miss reading. Wow. Um … (rifling through mounds of disorganized paperwork frantically) … how about this one? It’s called ‘A Day Spent in your Bed isn’t Always a Bad Thing.” It’s more serious, which I typically am not.

I want to thank you all for coming out for the show tonight. Please remember to tip your waiters and waitresses on the way out. And drive safely.

20120407-223706.jpg


9 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Burden of Proof (for Trifecta)

Posted on April 4, 2012 | 33 comments

It’s Trifecta Weekly Challenge time and this one was especially difficult for me personally. Perhaps it’s because the prompt exposed two of my Achilles heels: brains and computers. Sad, huh? RULES: All entries must be between 33 and 333 words and need to include the following word using its third definition (both listed below).

* * * * * * * * * *

Burden of Proof

* * * * * * * * * * 

“Keep digging.” Riggs pleaded.

Murtaugh could hear the desperation in his partner’s voice. It had only been six months since he lost Victoria. He was too close to these crimes. “You’re grasping at straws. Police combed the area for days. There’s nothing left.”

“How can you be sure?” Riggs protested. “We both know he killed all six of them but we’ve only got enough to get him for that last one.”

“Riggs, we don’t even have bodies, let alone evidence to link him to those women.”

Riggs kept digging. “What about the waitress?”

“Who?”

“The girl we questioned last month. The only one who got out alive. With the piercings … and tattoos, remember? “

“Please. I’m still having nightmares,” Murtaugh laughed.

“Yeah, she was rough … but smart.” Riggs agreed. “That’s what saved her. She paid attention to his schedule, knew when to act. She said he recorded everything on his computer … pictures, clippings, videos. Apparently, he liked showing them to his newer captures. I just wish she hadn’t waited to report him. It gave him too much time.”

“Then, tell me again. Why are we here?”

“They found the last victim here, right?

“Yes. And?” Murtaugh persisted.

“He knew it was his last kill for a while, thanks to the waitress. So, he had to dump everything .. the body, the tools and …”

“The computer,” concluded Murtaugh.

“Exactly,” said Riggs, just as his digging fingers hit the metal hard drive in the dirt. “His brain. I’ll bet everything’s on here. The girls, the methods, even the dump sites. And these barcodes will lead us right to him.”

Murtaugh interrupted. “Why wouldn’t he have destroyed it?”

“Because he’s one of them. The monsters who keep these grisly souvenirs. Usually the key evidence in their convictions. When Bundy was asked why he photographed his victims, he said, ‘when you work hard to do something right, you don’t want to forget it.'” Riggs turned to collect himself, wiping his eyes. “Let’s go nail his ass to the wall.”

* * * * * * * * * * 

Anyone recognize my characters? Points go to the first one who leaves it in the comments.

And that Ted Bundy stuff? It was real. I did a little terrifying research by myself late last night during one of the worst thunderstorms in recent history. It’s a good thing the power didn’t go out or I’d still be holed up in the back of my closet clutching a butcher knife and a vial of holy water. (A girl’s gotta cover all her bases, from the mortal to the supernatural.) Anyway, this link was the most disturbing one I read. It’s not for the faint of heart, especially that second paragraph.

20120407-223706.jpg

33 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , ,

A Letter of Farewell to My Old Toilet

Posted on April 3, 2012 | 16 comments

Dear Old Toilet,

I just wanted to take a moment to tell you what you’ve meant to our family. It’s true. We inherited you with this house but it seemed like, after no time, we accepted you as one of our own. And honestly, as with most things, isn’t it best really to forget that your toilet ever had a past?

You’ve been a significant part of our home, providing an excellent thinking spot for my husband and my two children. It was a great place for them to catch up on online news, emails, Facebook and reading or even to set a high score in the latest DS game or iPod app. And, while you and I never really shared the same bond as the ones you had with the remaining members of my family, we certainly had our moments, didn’t we? I’ll never forget the Great Stomach Bug of 2009. You were amazing. There for me through all of it, supporting me in a way that no one or thing should ever have to do for another. And don’t even get me started on clogging. You were the man. I think you only stopped up once shortly after we moved in. I still attribute that expensive but memorable incident to the previous owner. For my money, you are free of any responsibility or blame there.

Unfortunately, there comes a time in every toilet’s life when it’s forced to be removed from its owner’s home. It’s nothing personal. Really. I’m sure you’ve noticed all the changes taking place in the bathroom around you. It’s called remodeling. And it’s usually bad news for old toilets, tubs and sinks. In our case, all three of you had to go. You just didn’t fit the decor of the new bathroom. Plus, I’ve really been looking forward to installing a “high boy” for a while now. It’s not just you. The sinks are higher, too. I can’t explain why, but I just think it looks more formal, more regal if you will. As a short person myself, I understand how much this criticism must hurt. And, for that, I am truly sorry.

This past week hasn’t been easy. It has certainly served as a wake up call for all of us, reminding us again and again (sometimes quite urgently) how important a good toilet really is to a family of four. I’m ashamed to say that we all took you for granted. Existing with only one for the week has taught us all to appreciate the gift of a toilet … and we anxiously anticipate the day that we can once again call ourselves a two-toilet household.

As I watched you ride away on the back of the contractor’s truck, I couldn’t help but shed a tear for you, my old friend. You who were there for us through the highs and lows, the ups and down, in (disgusting) sickness and in health. It’s an unfair fact of life for a toilet and I hope with all my heart that you are delivered to a new family’s home where you can continue to provide comfort and relief to all those who are fortunate enough to sit upon your seat.

God speed, my friend, and may your pipes and bowl always remain clean and clear.

Sincerely,

Michele*

* My toilet only called me by my real name. I’m not sure the fact that I write this blog ever came up in conversation between us.

20120407-223706.jpg

16 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , ,

No one has ever called me Sunshine-y before. Ever.

Posted on April 2, 2012 | 13 comments

Greetings, ODNT-ites!

                                   … ODNT-ers?

                                                      … ODNT-ians?

Okay, I can’t even say that last one. And they all sound awful. So, I guess the first order of business for this post is to pick a name for you guys. In the past, I’ve used ODNT citizens, but I think it makes me sound like a pompous ass and we can do better. So, I’m now taking suggestions for a new name for you guys. If I get enough of them, I’ll put it up for … yep, you guessed it … a vote. We haven’t listed a poll here in a while. (This information was recently called to my attention by fellow blogger, The Cowardly Feminist. Vesta, here’s hoping we can come up with another one for you soon.)
*
Oh, yeah … the real purpose of this post? I was nominated for the Sunshine Award by Poetry by the Clueless, a new writer with whom I’ve recently become acquainted, so I want to send a big ‘Thank You’ her way. And, just as Miss America has duties and obligations she must fulfill, this award comes with responsibilities that I must carry out if I want to retain my crown.
*
20120402-210714.jpg
Here are the rules for this award:

1) Include the award logo in a post or in your blog.
2) Answer 10 questions about yourself.
3) Nominate 10 to 12 other fabulous bloggers.
4) Link your nominees to the post and comment on their blog to let them know they are nominated.
5) Share the love and link the person who nominated you.

And here are my answers to these random questions:

Favorite color: For what? Clothes? Black. My hair? Red, sometimes unnaturally. Bedroom walls? Purple-y blue. Pregnancy tests? It depends on the brand. (I’ll let you have fun interpreting that one.)

Favorite number: Who the heck has a favorite number? Sports freaks? Whatever. I’ll go with 2, the number of cute, little rats living in my home and depending on me daily. (Don’t tell my kids I called them rats.)

Favorite animal: If I don’t say Milo, he’ll kick my ass. So, I guess I have to go with pissy orange male tabbys who think it’s okay to clamp down on me occasionally when my guard is down (i.e., I’m sleeping). Off the record, I’m a big hippo fan. I have no real reason why. I guess I’ve just always had a soft spot for those little chubsters. (Don’t tell Milo I said that.)

Favorite non-alcoholic drink: Water. No, I’m not kidding. It’s one of my healthiest habits. (Don’t tell Milk I said that.)

Prefer Facebook or Twitter: Twitter. (Screw it. You can tell Facebook. They keep rearranging the furniture on me.)

My Passion: My kids, writing and eating cheese. (I should probably be spending my days writing about my kids eating cheese.)

Prefer giving or getting presents: Duh. Getting them. Who am I, Mother Teresa? (Wow. I sound like such a jerk. Don’t tell anyone I said that.)

Favorite pattern: None. Unless it’s for my young daughter’s wardrobe, you will never see me seeking out stripes, polka dots, paisleys or any other hideous print. Bleech. (Don’t tell Katy Perry. My opinion means the world to her and it would absolutely kill her.)

Favorite day of the week: Thursday. It’s like Christmas Eve … or a Wedding Rehearsal Dinner. It’s the preamble to the big event. I love the anticipation. (Don’t tell Sunday. He thinks he’s my favorite.)

Favorite flower: I mostly think they’re a huge waste of money but I do have a few favorites based sheerly on their scents – roses, gardenias and Casablanca Lilies. (I’m not sure who you shouldn’t tell here, but surely there’s someone who should remain in the dark on this one.)

And here are the bloggers I am nominating for this award. I ranked them according to their taste for shellfish:
  1. According to Mags
  2. El Guapo
  3. Honest Mom
  4. My Blog can Beat Up Your Blog
  5. Momsicle Blog
  6. Backpacking Dad
  7. Pajamas & Coffee
  8. My Convertible Life
  9. With a Little Love and Luck
  10. Naked Girl in a Dress
  11. Honey Badger Just Don’t Care
  12. Musings from a Workaholic

I’ve connected with each and every one of these people on at least one occasion. Some have heard from me dozens of times and may have already applied to get new, unlisted web addresses. In any event, one thing I’ve learned while writing my own blog is that there are a great many witty, clever, sensitive, crazy, daring people out there. Last August, I jumped right into this crazy pool with both feet. And, at this point in the game, I think I’ve learned to keep my head above water and am now working on my breast stroke. (Get it? Yeah, I had to go there.)

Have a great week!

ODNT

20120407-223706.jpg

13 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

From the smart ass collection – Curiosity Killed the Chat (for Trifextra)

Posted on April 1, 2012 | 11 comments

For my weekly stab at satire, I wrote this third and final entry for the Trifextra Weekend Challenge.  Here are the bloody rules – Entrants must write a horror story in 33 words exactly, without the words blood, scream, died, death, knife, gun or kill. But enough with the gory details.  This contest slays me.  I hope I don’t beat it to death. Waiting ’til Monday for the results will be murder.

* * * * * * * * * *

Trifextra Entry #3 – Curiosity Killed the Chat

* * * * * * * * * *

“What’s your plan?”

“Don’t know.”

“What about ‘bludgeon?'”

“Fine.”

“‘Axe?’ ‘Chainsaw?’ ‘Hook?'”

“All FINE!“

“Dude, there’s lots of words left.”

“Not anymore.”(WHACK! … THUD!…) (spoken to camera) “I’m gonna need a bigger post.”

* * * * * * * * * *

The inspiration for that famous line.  It scared the daylights out of me.

20120407-223706.jpg




11 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Never Go to Bed Angry (for Trifextra)

Posted on March 31, 2012 | 22 comments

Here’s my second (hopefully blood … or at least milk … curdling) entry for the Trifextra Weekend Challenge. Rules: Entrants must write a horror story in 33 words exactly, without the words blood, scream, died, death, knife, gun or kill.

* * * * * * * * * *

Trifextra Entry #2 – Never Go to Bed Angry

* * * * * * * * * *

“Goodnight, sweetheart. I’m sorry, too,” she said, kissing his check. Finally releasing the hammer, she climbed into her side of the bed to spoon his still warm body. “Things will be better tomorrow.”

* * * * * * * * * *

20120407-223706.jpg


22 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , ,