Tag Archives: according to mags

Ketchup With Us #15

Posted on April 1, 2013 | 8 comments

Happy April Fool’s Day! I’m a real holiday person. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas … my family even has an annual tradition for Groundhog Day. (We’ll discuss that next February.) But when it came to April Fool’s Day, I was stumped. Ever since Mel informed me that she is married to the grand master of pranks and practical jokes, I began scrolling through the dusty card catalog that is my brain but my stories couldn’t even come close to hers. So I turned to my old friend, Television, for help. He’s always been there for me and I knew he’d pull me through. And, after sifting through old memories of everything from Johnny Carson to Ashton Kutcher, I finally remembered these four fools. (Thanks, Vanessa & Wayne, for introducing me to their show.)

The Impractical Jokers

They live to embarrass the snot out of each other. It’s a miracle that none of them has been flattened by one of their unsuspecting victims. From stealing food off people’s buffet plates to throwing a tantrum to get a stranger to buy them something to impersonating a blind opthamologist, there is nothing they won’t do.

For a quick explanation of this link-up, click here. In short, Mel and I will post a picture or video with a writing prompt on the 1st and 15th of every month. You can write your entry in any form. We love creativity. And, with each prompt, we’ll feature a writer from the previous link-up. Which reminds me …

Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer for today is …

Becky

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The Rules of Play

  1. Submit your entry using the linky at the bottom of our KWU posts.
  2. Follow us on Facebook (Michele /Mel).
  3. Follow us on Twitter (Michele/Mel) & tweet us your entry using #KetchupWithUs.

Grab our Button!

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‘KETCHUP WITH US’ – Prompt #15

In 57 words or less, tell us about the best prank you ever played, saw executed or were the butt of yourself!

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Ketchup With Us #14

Posted on March 14, 2013 | 20 comments

ME: Anyone remember a post I wrote a while back called Will the Real ODNT Please Stand Up?

YOU: Nope.

ME: Sure you do. It was a good one about how I looked just like another lady blogger.

YOU: (not even looking up from the book you’re reading, just shaking your head) Sorry. Don’t remember it.

ME: Aw, come on. The picture was in black and white? I even recreated it.

YOU: (sipping your coffee nonchalantly, you’ve actually taken another call at this point and are laughing at me with the person on the other end of the phone)

ME: (hysterically) ARE YOU FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME? DO YOU EVEN READ ODNT? (pulling out hair) Why do I try? Why, oh why, do I …

MEL/According to Mags: (ahem) Michele, you seem to have gotten off track, honey. Here. (smoothing hair) Why don’t you sit down and have a sip of your milk while I do the talking, okay? (turning away from the crazy) Hey, guys. This week’s prompt is pretty simple. Who’s your doppelgänger? Your twin? Your carbon copy? We want to know. To get you started, I’ve written one here for Michele. And she wrote one for me over at According to Mags. We’re interchangeable like that. (leaves room singing a familiar tune to herself) “But they’re bloggers, identical bloggers all the way … “

Michele’s Doppelgänger by Mel

The make-up applied just so. The hair braided, beaded and bedazzled to a tee. A signature hat that screams to a culture club. Of course, she added her own flair and style, but still unmistakable. This girl will tumble for ya and is a total chameleon. She has done Boy George proud. Her doppelganger he will be.

Her inspiration?

Uncanny, yes?

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For a quick explanation of this link-up, click here. In short, Mel and I will post a picture or video with a writing prompt on the 1st and 15th of every month. You can write your entry in any form. We love creativity. And, with each prompt, we’ll feature a writer from the previous link-up. Which reminds me …

Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer for today is …

Deana

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The Rules of Play

  1. Submit your entry using the linky at the bottom of our KWU posts.
  2. Follow us on Facebook (Michele /Mel).
  3. Follow us on Twitter (Michele/Mel) & tweet us your entry using the hashtag #KetchupWithUs.

Grab our Button!

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‘KETCHUP WITH US’ – Prompt #14

In 57 words or less, tell us about your doppelgänger.

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Ketchup With Us #13

Posted on March 1, 2013 | 27 comments

Picture it. Two women loose in New York City. All family worries and concerns left back at home. And a whole day to soak in the culture, the museums, the live performances, the cuisine. What did they do? WHAT. DID. THEY. DO?

Remember the scene in Pretty Woman where Vivian (Julia) goes into the Rodeo Drive boutique and has her five-feet-off-the-ground butt served to her on a platter by a bunch of bitchy sales women? Yeah? Well, that’s pretty much what I expected when Mel and I walked into Prada on Fifth Avenue. Oh, wait. Did I forget to mention that Mel was wearing a giant ketchup costume?

Sure. I was a little puffed up when we walked in, waiting for them to call security as soon as they saw us. But instead … these people were AWESOME. It shocked the hell out of me. And it just goes to show that you don’t really know someone until you walk a mile in their shoes.

Which brings us to today’s prompt. Given the choice, whose shoes would you like to walk in for a day? Mine’s easy. I was going for sloth chic.

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I could sleep. All freakin’ day.

I could yell for food and get it. Immediately. No manners needed.

I could have people lined up to give me back rubs.

I could jump six times my height into the air.

If you piss me off, I could bite you. Viciously. And we’d be friends again in 15 minutes.

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For a quick explanation of this link-up, click here. In short, Mel and I will post a picture or video with a writing prompt on the 1st and 15th of every month. You can write your entry in any form. We love creativity. And, with each prompt, we’ll feature a writer from the previous link-up. Which reminds me …

Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer for today is …

Kir

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The Rules of Play

  1. Submit your entry using the linky at the bottom of our KWU posts.
  2. Follow us on Facebook (Michele /Mel).
  3. Follow us on Twitter (Michele/Mel) & tweet us your entry using the hashtag #KetchupWithUs.

Grab our Button!

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‘KETCHUP WITH US’ – Prompt #13

In 57 words or less, tell us about whose shoes you’d like to walk in for a day.

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Ketchup With Us #12

Posted on February 15, 2013 | 8 comments

Ever notice how every two weeks … as we’re explaining how KWU works … Mel and I blather on and on about, threaten to mention the possibility of posting a video for the link-up? And yet, week after week, our lazy slack-asses never actually deliver on that promise, do we? DO WE?!!? Well, I’m tired of sitting on that magnificent throne of lies. So, I’m putting my ketchup where my mouth is (which ironically is where I always put it) as we give you our very first Ketchup With Us video prompt.

As you will see in the clip below, I just wanted a drink. Specifically something made with, duh, ketchup. The bartender was a great sport for putting up with our tomfoolery. I appreciate a little quirkiness in my barkeep … as well as in my drink. What about you?

I could take it or leave it as a FOOD.

But when put in a DRINK, I’ll order it every single time.

From the Pimm’s Cup at New Orleans’ Napoleon House to the Heat Cocktail at NYC’s Buddakan.

My thanks to the cucumber and creative mixologists everywhere who first took a chance on the little gourd.

Pimm’s Cup

  • 1/2-in. thick English cucumber wheel
  • 1/2-in. thick lemon wheel
  • 2 oz. Pimm’s No. 1
  • 4 oz. 7-Up, lemon-lime soda or ginger ale
  • lemon twist

Heat (a la Buddakan NYC)

  • Tequila
  • Cointreau
  • Cucumbers muddled with a chili paste

For a quick explanation of this link-up, click here. In short, Mel and I will post a picture or video (yes, we said VIDEO!) with a writing prompt on the 1st and 15th of every month. You can write your entry in any form. We love creativity. And, with each prompt, we’ll feature a writer from the previous link-up. Which reminds me …

Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer for today is …

Tara

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The Rules of Play

  1. Submit your entry using the linky at the bottom of our KWU posts.
  2. Follow us on Facebook (Michele /Mel).
  3. Follow us on Twitter (Michele/Mel) & tweet us your entry using the hashtag #KetchupWithUs.

Grab our Button!

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‘KETCHUP WITH US’ – Prompt #12

In 57 words or less, tell us about the best drink you ever had. Recipes and pictures are encouraged.

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That’s It! I’M PULLING OUT THE STOPS!

Posted on February 13, 2013 | 6 comments

Remember Puss In Boots, everyone’s favorite rusty-colored, feline Don Juan from all the Shrek movies? I believe he first made an appearance in the second of the quadrilogy. And when he flashed those sad eyes … well, we and everyone else watching the movie were pretty much toast, weren’t we?

His puppy dog eyes (yes, I realize that’s ironic) get me every time.

And that gave me an idea.

I have an orange cat.

I have an orange cat with sweet eyes.

I have an orange cat with sweet eyes who would do anything for me.

Perfect!

Where’s that stupid cat? Milo. Miiiiiiiiiilllllllo. Here kitty, kitty, kitty …. Who’s a good kitty? Will you help mama? That’s a good boy. Just stand here and hold this little hat. That’s right. Take it with your paws. Okay, now I need you to stand there and look up at the cam— …… Owww! Stop!! No!! Ooooowwwww! Milo! Bad kitty! BAAAAAAD!! NO!!! What the HELL are you—??? …. OH, DEAR GOD!!! (fleeing room to grab crucifix and vial of holy water) ….

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Well, maybe he will scare you into voting for me. 

Because it’s the LAST DAY. Voting ends today at 6pm CST. And I absolutely swear the whole process takes only 5 seconds. Why do I care so much? Because if I place in the Top 25 Funny Moms, my blog gets pimped to 6 million new readers.

Yes, I said six MILLION.

That’s why I’ve been such a pain in the ass. And why I risked my life for you with Milo today.

So, please take five seconds for me today. And snatch the phones of everyone within arm’s length and do the same. My arms are now covered in cuts and scratches and I’m losing a lot of blood. I could really use your help.

* * * * * Got five seconds? * * * * *

Please click that FANCY PANTS PINK BALL (above) to visit the Circle of Moms site and vote for ODNT for Top 25 Funny Moms. I need this.  I’m headed to the hospital for a rabies shot.

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Don’t forget to vote for my other funny friends, too. AccordingToMags, HotMessMom and Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms. They’re hilarious ladies … and just good people, too.

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Voting ends at 6pm CST today! Thanks!

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Ketchup With Us #11

Posted on February 1, 2013 | 12 comments

Superbowl Schmuperbowl. Yeah, sure. It’s this weekend. It’s even here in New Orleans. But it’s not my Saints or my friend, Mel’s Patriots. Plus, we already covered it in KWU #10. So we’re moving right on to Valentine’s Day. But you know we hardly ever do things the regular way in Ketchup Country, right? (I really wanted to type Ketchup Kountry but it seemed so … Cracker Barrel.)

That’s why instead of hearing about your sweetheart, your soulmate, the love of your life … the one you’re proud to call your own … we want to hear about someTHING or someONE that you’re embarrassed you love.

Me? Gosh, my mind just raced with possibilities. Velveeta cheese? Poison perfume? A certain Miley Cyrus song? Sigh. I wish I were joking. The mind loves what it loves. And even though I know I shouldn’t, I just can’t seem to shake this one.

He wrote “Like a Good Neighbor, State Farm is there.”
He accompanied Bette Middler for years.
He himself sold over 80 million records worldwide.

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But it was his 1978 release that would forever burn itself in my memory. It will always belong only to my grandmother and me.

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He is music … and he writes the songs.

Still don’t believe me?

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Exhibit A: My keyring. It’s a memento from my last trip to Vegas in 2010.

For a quick explanation of this link-up, click here. In short, Mel and I will post a picture or video with a writing prompt on the 1st and 15th of every month. You can write your entry in any form. We love creativity. And, with each prompt, we’ll feature a writer from the previous link-up. Which reminds me …

Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer for today is …

Lance

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The Rules of Play

  1. Submit your entry using the linky at the bottom of our KWU posts.
  2. Follow us on Facebook (Michele /Mel).
  3. Follow us on Twitter (Michele/Mel) & tweet us your entry using the hashtag #KetchupWithUs.

Grab our Button!

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‘KETCHUP WITH US’ – Prompt #11

In 57 words or less, tell us about something (or someone) that you’re embarrassed you love.

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* * * * * Got five seconds? * * * * *

Please click that FANCY PANTS PINK BALL (above) to visit the Circle of Moms site and vote for ODNT for Top 25 Funny Moms.

I need this, people! I just outed myself as a Fanilow.

vote daily ’til February 13. Thanks!

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a mom blog community!

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Because Who Can’t Use A Little Help Getting Organized in 2013?

Posted on January 21, 2013 | 4 comments

Salt and Pepper.

Meat and Potatoes.

Lucy and Ethel.

Perfect pairs.

I haven’t found someone I like writing with this much since … well, I don’t know if I’ve ever found someone so easy with whom to write. (Pipe down, Mom. You know that doesn’t include you.)

It helps to be of like minds. It helps to be flexible. It helps to find someone with whom you can bring different things to the table. Things like strengths and weaknesses … and cheese. That’s why my friend, Mel at AccordingToMags.com, and I complement each other so perfectly. She is the peppery-potatoey Ethel to my salty-meaty Lucy. And sometimes it’s the other way around. Whatever the subject matter, one of us is always able to take the lead and lay the groundwork and structure for the project while the other one is out shopping for shag carpeting, throw pillows and kitschy accent tables.

In the past year, Mel and I have co-authored a lot of things … from our unconventional Ketchup With Us writing challenge to our biweekly parenting column in the Lifestyle section of the Manilla blog, a site that was recently named one of PC Magazine’s Top 100 Websites of 2012 as well as an ABC News’ App of the Week.

We’ve actually already written five articles together for Manilla. Please take a look and feel free to share.

Thanks, Mel. I’ve enjoyed every minute of it. Well almost every minute. 🙂

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Easily manage your bills and accounts for FREE with Manilla.

Need your T’s crossed? I’s dotted? Maybe even all of your ducks in a row? Manilla is a site that can help you manage all of your accounts — the babysitter, the rent, the pool guy, the dog walker, the gym membership. You name it, they can help. On January 1st, Manilla launched their Get It Together Challenge, a New Year’s promotion that can get your life in order for 2013. To register for Manilla’s services, click here and complete the enrollment section on the right.

Put down that cookie and do it!

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Ketchup With Us #10

Posted on January 15, 2013 | 6 comments

Sunday, February 3 – Superbowl XLVII

Team-Who-Isn’t-the-Saints vs. Some-Other-Team-Who-Also-Isn’t-Them

at The Mercedez-Benz Superdome in New Orleans, Louisiana

(That’s okay, Drew. We’ll see you guys next year, right?)

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The big face off is just around the corner. And it got my friend, Mel, and me thinking … about who and what we take on every day. Is there someone … or something … you’re always trying to defeat? My list is so long that I didn’t even know where to start. Until I thought about my “babies.”

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How is it that the Boynton board books, baby booties and Nuk pacifiers have all been replaced by the Hunger Games trilogy, Nike Elite socks and iTouches?

I just turned my back for a minute to grab the camera.

Damn you, passing of time. Please slow down. My kids and I are not finished enjoying today yet.

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Then …

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… and now.

Seriously, where does the time go?

For a quick explanation of this link-up, click here. In short, Mel and I will post a picture or video with a writing prompt on the 1st and 15th of every month. You can write your entry in any form. We love creativity. And, with each prompt, we’ll feature a writer from the previous link-up. Which reminds me …

Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer for today is …

Lumdog

The Rules of Play

  1. Submit your entry using the linky at the bottom of our KWU posts.
  2. Follow us on Facebook (Michele /Mel).
  3. Follow us on Twitter (Michele/Mel) & tweet us your entry using the hashtag #KetchupWithUs.

Grab our Button!

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‘KETCHUP WITH US’ – Prompt #10

In 57 words or less, tell us about WHO (or WHAT) you go head to head with every day.

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Ketchup With Us #9

Posted on January 1, 2013 | 8 comments

HAAAAAAAAAAAPPPY NEW YEARRRRRRRR!!!!!

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What are YOUR New Year’s resolutions?

And, when Mel and I ask that, what we mean is … what are YOU giving up for only two days and then caving on to remind yourself and the world that you are a miserable failure at New Year’s Resolutions?

I make my own list every year. And, by the end of the first week, the back of it has served as a grocery list and there’s a good chance I’ve used one of its corners for an old wad of gum. We try, we fail. I think that THAT in fact is my annual tradition. And here’s one of my favorite surefire fails that I like to throw out there each January 1st.

I say it every year. And I always try but never succeed. It’s the mark of a good mother, isn’t it? And, surely, everyone else wants to see it happen, too. Of course, maybe the fact that I can’t give it up is simply because …

NOBODY LISTENS TO ME UNLESS I AM YELLING!

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Yes. Well, he does look a little more like he’s singing opera than yelling. But I thought it would make a damned funny visual. 

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For a quick explanation of this link-up, click here. In short, Mel and I will post a picture or video with a writing prompt on the 1st and 15th of every month. You can write your entry in any form. We love creativity. And, with each prompt, we’ll feature a writer from the previous link-up. Which reminds me …

Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer for today is …

Ruby Manchanda

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The Rules of Play

  1. Submit your entry using the linky at the bottom of our KWU posts.
  2. Follow us on Facebook (Michele /Mel).
  3. Follow us on Twitter (Michele/Mel) & tweet us your entry using the hashtag #KetchupWithUs.

Grab our Button!

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‘KETCHUP WITH US’ – Prompt #9

In 57 words or less, tell us about the New Year’s resolution you WANT to make but KNOW you’ll break.

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Ketchup With Us #8

Posted on December 15, 2012 | 14 comments

Today we’re talking about family traditions during the holidays. Some of them have been passed down from generation to generation. Others are born suddenly when we decide to do something new on the spur of the moment. Some are time-honored and enveloped in sentiment. Others just make us pull out our hair and get fat. In any event, we all have them. And today Mel and I want to share ours with you … and invite you to do the same with us.

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Every year, my kids and I visit the mall to see Santa. (I’m lucky they still indulge me.) Afterwards, we get Frozen Eggnogs at the little frogurt stand next door. One day, I’m going to punch the owner, who refuses to rename his product, squarely in the jaw.

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Hello? You’re behind Santa’s Village for crying out loud!

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“You’ve also got a typo in there, dumb ass!” I’ll yell over my shoulder, drunk with power …and possibly holiday spirits, as the mall cops drag me from the mall.

Oh, wait. You guys wanted happy? Fine. Fine. Far be it from me to Ebenezer up the place. Since I mentioned Santa pictures, please allow me to share the first one my kids ever took together and the last. (Here’s hoping I can get another one out of them this year.

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For a quick explanation of this link-up, click here. In short, Mel and I will post a picture or video with a writing prompt on the 1st and 15th of every month. You can write your entry in any form. We love creativity. And, with each prompt, we’ll feature a writer from the previous link-up. Which reminds me …

Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer for today is …

KBar3 – MMR

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The Rules of Play

  1. Submit your entry using the linky at the bottom of one of our KWU posts.
  2. Follow us on Facebook (Michele /Mel).
  3. Follow us on Twitter (Michele/Mel) & tweet us your entry with the hashtag #KetchupWithUs.

Grab our Button!

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‘KETCHUP WITH US’ – Prompt #8

In 57 words or less, tell about one of your family’s holiday traditions. (NOTE: I didn’t say you had to LIKE the tradition.)

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