Tag Archives: circle of moms

That’s It! I’M PULLING OUT THE STOPS!


Remember Puss In Boots, everyone’s favorite rusty-colored, feline Don Juan from all the Shrek movies? I believe he first made an appearance in the second of the quadrilogy. And when he flashed those sad eyes … well, we and everyone else watching the movie were pretty much toast, weren’t we?

His puppy dog eyes (yes, I realize that’s ironic) get me every time.

And that gave me an idea.

I have an orange cat.

I have an orange cat with sweet eyes.

I have an orange cat with sweet eyes who would do anything for me.

Perfect!

Where’s that stupid cat? Milo. Miiiiiiiiiilllllllo. Here kitty, kitty, kitty …. Who’s a good kitty? Will you help mama? That’s a good boy. Just stand here and hold this little hat. That’s right. Take it with your paws. Okay, now I need you to stand there and look up at the cam— …… Owww! Stop!! No!! Ooooowwwww! Milo! Bad kitty! BAAAAAAD!! NO!!! What the HELL are you—??? …. OH, DEAR GOD!!! (fleeing room to grab crucifix and vial of holy water) ….

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Well, maybe he will scare you into voting for me. 

Because it’s the LAST DAY. Voting ends today at 6pm CST. And I absolutely swear the whole process takes only 5 seconds. Why do I care so much? Because if I place in the Top 25 Funny Moms, my blog gets pimped to 6 million new readers.

Yes, I said six MILLION.

That’s why I’ve been such a pain in the ass. And why I risked my life for you with Milo today.

So, please take five seconds for me today. And snatch the phones of everyone within arm’s length and do the same. My arms are now covered in cuts and scratches and I’m losing a lot of blood. I could really use your help.


* * * * * Got five seconds? * * * * *

Please click that FANCY PANTS PINK BALL (above) to visit the Circle of Moms site and vote for ODNT for Top 25 Funny Moms. I need this.  I’m headed to the hospital for a rabies shot.

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Don’t forget to vote for my other funny friends, too. AccordingToMags, HotMessMom and Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms. They’re hilarious ladies … and just good people, too.

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Voting ends at 6pm CST today! Thanks!

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A Guest Post With According to Mags: Give It Up


Me: “YES! I’d love to do a guest post for you while you’re away. Any subject in particular or do I have free reign?”

Michele: “Free reign.”

SA-WEEET!  I couldn’t wait to get started!

But then, you know what happened? My mind went blank. What the HECK was I going to write about?   You guys have grown to expect Michele’s concise writing style, her meticulous grammar and her sarcastic humor.  No pressure. (gulp) I felt a little bit like I was back in my Catholic school days with Sr. Phyllis. She’d stand over me tapping her ruler on my desk as I practiced my cursive writing.  One wrong loop or connection of letters and Id get a WHACK right on the knuckles.  That was when it came to me.

This week coming up is going to be a busy. Today I have to buy Mags new tap shoes (she is growing like a weed) and vote for Michele, Tuesday is Fat Tuesday and I need to vote for Michele, Wednesday is the start of Lent and, of course, keep on voting for Michele until 4:00pm PST. Wait. Why is everyone staring at me with those ‘deer in the headlights’ looks? Oh, right! I know, the time zones always get me, too. Let me give you a quick explanation. That  means  you keep voting for Michele until 6:00pm NOLA time and if you’re further to the right on the map, 7:00pm EST.

Speaking of voting, I need some help. Seeing that the start of Lent is Wednesday, I’m supposed to give up something for 40 days. To me, Lent is the like the speed dating of New Year’s resolutions. People say “It’s only 40 days.” but so is the Circle of Moms voting window (well, almost). Turns out 40 days takes F-O-R-E-V-E-R! Nevertheless, this stumps me every year. I really do try give up something, but I end up over thinking it. Then, by the time I come up with the perfect thing, it’s usually already 20 days into Lent. Way to go, Mel!

So, since I’m with a fairly new crowd…I know, I know, lots of you follow me too…but I’m speaking to the guy in the back rockin’ the Barry Manilow t-shirt. I’ve never seen him before.  Anyway, while I’m here, I thought you guys could help me. What could Mel give up for Lent?

I should probably tell you a few things that I really enjoy to put on the “GIVE IT UP” discussion table.

1. Cadbury Mini Eggs. For those of you who don’t know me well, I’ll break this one down for you. Mel is to Cadbury Mini Eggs as Michele is to cheese platters. Think about it. Would you want to be around a cheese-less Michele? WELL, WOULD YOU?!?  For crying out loud, think of  the children!

2.  Coffee. This would be cruel of you to choose, but it’s only 40 days. I’ll be back to guest post again and find the people who voted for this one.

3. Procrastinating. Eh. Let’s get back to this one in a minute.

4. Beer.  I really look forward to all the new seasonal brews that come out. So, I’d whine about this one throughout the 40 days, but it would be doable. UNLIKE THE MINI EGGS.

5. Voting on Circle of Moms. Technically this ends at 7PM for me  (see above time zone explanation) on Wednesday, but it’s still DURING Lent. This one, I like.

You can just leave which one of these choices you think I should give up in the comments. Choose wisely.

After that, please take five seconds (literally) and hop on over to Circle of Moms and…you guessed it…VOTE.

I’ll even put an adorable picture in the post for ya. Awwww!

This is a picture of Michele and Mags

On a sidenote, yesterday, we got to meet up with my girl, Michele, and her boy (the most polite 13-year-old I’ve ever met) in Washington DC. ODNT and Mags finally met (although we REALLY missed ODNT Jr.)  and it was love at first sight. I’m pretty sure they schemed through the entire lunch. Michele introduced my children to Tic Tacs…I know, I know…what kind of mother am I? And at the end of the visit, Mags tried to climb into Michele’s bottomless purse. I would have, too. She kept pulling candy canes and little mints out of it.

Thanks Michele and Dean for meeting up with us.
It was the highlight of our weekend!

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Herve the Hamster’s Campaign Efforts for the Big Contest


Herve the Hamster is doing his part for the Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny Moms campaign while ODNT and son visit our nation’s capital. He even hung a sign on his handcrafted 19th century Victorian dollhouse bachelor pad.

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“It’s SO easy!” he thinks, wishing he had the power of human speech.

1. Click here.

2. Scroll down to ODNT.

3. Click “VOTE.”


Still need convincing?

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“PLEEEEEEEEASE!!!!”

He’s blurry … but he’s sincere.


* * * * * Got five seconds? * * * * *

Please click that FANCY PANTS PINK BALL (above) to visit the Circle of Moms site and vote for ODNT for Top 25 Funny Moms.

I need this, people! I’m about to have Herve fitted for a sandwich board.

Vote daily ’til February 13. Thanks!

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The ODNT, Jr. “Vote for My Mom” Campaign (Part 3)


Maybe it’s because it’s a big election year.

Maybe it’s because she loves me.

Or maybe it’s just because it provides yet another platform for her to showcase her two favorite little varmints.

In any event, my girl is determined to help me secure my position in the Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny Moms Contest. Previous campaign efforts include Herve in the Kitchen and Herve’s Crippling Food Issues. And now she’s back with a third creation, her latest pro-ODNT propaganda entitled “The Case of the Missing Hot Pocket.”

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Confused? Don’t be. It’s a pretty simple concept. She draws something funny, you laugh hysterically and then you think to yourself, “Gosh, what a funny blog! I wonder if there are any nice people out there who give awards for this kind of crazy stuff.” Well, wonder no more. The answer is yes. You can vote right here. Every day until February 13. And here’s how:

1. Click here.

2. Scroll down to ODNT.

3. Click “VOTE.”

Silver Circle – Vote daily AND pressure friends to do the same.

Gold Circle – Vote daily, pressure friends to do the same AND post on all social media.

Platinum Circle – Vote daily, pressure friends to do the same, post on all social media AND wear sandwich board whenever awake to help promote the cause.

You can vote for as many women as you like. I recommend AccordingToMags, HotMessMom and Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms … to name just a few. Take a minute and look around once you’re in. There’s a whole mess of funny at that party. Just remember to vote. So ODNT, Jr’s efforts aren’t all in vain. Thanks.


* * * * * Got five seconds? * * * * *

Please click that FANCY PANTS PINK BALL (above) to visit the Circle of Moms site and vote for ODNT for Top 25 Funny Moms.

I need this, people! Someone stole my Hot Pocket!

Vote daily ’til February 13. Thanks!

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The ODNT, Jr. “Vote for My Mom” Campaign (Part 2)


Remember my sweet girl’s plan to get me named a Top 25 Funny Mom? Well, her efforts continue with this second drawing … depicting Herve the Hamster and his overeating disorder.

20130131-094436.jpgSeriously, how can you resist a campaign poster with rodent poo all over it? 

So, please take what I guarantee will only be two minutes of your time to throw a vote my direction. It’s really important to … (cough, sputter) … my daughter. And, as with most things in my life, I’m going to need EVERY SINGLE VOTE to keep up with the powerhouse of funny ladies with whom I’m nominated.

Here’s what I’m going to PATHETICALLY  BEG of you until February 13:

1. Click here.

2. Scroll down to ODNT. Lower … lower. Yep, there I am.

3. Click “vote.”

Please do it every 24 hours. And call your grandmother, your high school chemistry teacher who tried to fail you because you confused Mendelevium with Manganese, even your plumber … and ask them to do it, too. I’m not kidding. I love your plumber. He’s a riot and I think he really gets my sense of humor.

You can vote for as many women as you like. I recommend AccordingToMags … and HotMessMom and … well, you just can’t go wrong with any of them. Just vote. Often, please. And TELL YOUR FRIENDS. Thanks!


* * * * * Got five seconds? * * * * *

Please click that FANCY PANTS PINK BALL (above) to visit the Circle of Moms site and vote for ODNT for Top 25 Funny Moms.

I need this, people! I’m using vermin feces to gain votes!

vote daily ’til February 13. Thanks!

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ODNT, Jr. is Campaigning for Me


HER: (exhibiting genuine interest) “Whatcha looking at, Mama?”

ME: (channeling a crappy mom by not turning away from the computer and dismissing the question) “Nothing.”

HER: (regurgitating my ‘mom words’ back to me) “It’s not nothing if there’s something on the screen, Mama. What is it?”

ME: (still attempting to preserve my dignity and change the subject) “Just a little contest Mama’s in.”

HER: (exhibiting more genuine interest that I don’t deserve) “A contest for what?”

ME: (giving in since she already knows her mom is a goofball who dons a ketchup costume twice a month in public anyway) “Oh, it’s just a contest to pick the Top 25 Funny Moms on a website called Circle of Moms.”

HER: (leaping up excitedly) “A contest?!!? Wait! I’ll be right back!”

I’m just a regular mom. And that means sometimes I want to pull my hair out and run screaming from the house when my kids are driving me nuts. And other times I wonder what on earth I did to deserve such amazing little people who are actually interested in me and who want to help me with my half-baked, softheaded shenanigans intellectually stimulating projects.

Such was the case with Vivien last weekend when she heard about the Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny Moms contest.

Three hours later …

“I want you to win, Mama,” she said, handing me a stack of drawings she’d be working on in her room to help me in my quest to make you laugh.

Truth? Yes, they made me laugh. They also made me cry a little. That she’d give up a big chunk of her weekend to help out her old lady … well I don’t think I was that good a daughter when I was a kid. (Let’s see if my mom takes the bait when she reads this post.)

So anyway, without further ado … I give you the first of the ODNT, Jr. Vote for My Mom for Top 25 Funny Moms original creations. This one is entitled “Herve’s Black Seed Brownie Recipe.”

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It centers on the ever-growing hamster in this household and his favorite delicacy. Which we recently learned leads to morbid obesity in rodents. (Yep. That’s a thing.)

But, ODNT, how do we vote for you?

IT’s EASY! And IN ONLY Three Steps!

  1. Click here.
  2. Scroll down to Old Dog New Tits. God willing, I’ll still be in the Top 25 when you do.
  3. Click “vote” next to Old Dog New Tits.

And it wouldn’t suck if you also voted for my friends, According to Mags and Hot Mess Mom while you’re there. They’re both funny ladies of whom I personally I am a big fan. You can actually vote for as many people as you like. Once every 24 hours. Until February 13. Per device. Or so they tell me. 🙂

Fine, ODNT. We’ll vote for you and your friends. EVERY BLASTED DAY until February 13. But what’s in it for us, fool?

As my way of saying thank you for taking a minute of your time each day  … and having every person you’ve ever known do the same … I wanted to share a YouTube clip of my favorite dancing hill person, Jesco White.


* * * * * Got five seconds? * * * * *

Please click that FANCY PANTS PINK BALL (above) to visit the Circle of Moms site and vote for ODNT for Top 25 Funny Moms.

I need this! I’ve RESORTED to child labor.

vote daily ’til February 13. Thanks!

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