This post is part of a series. Long story short – I noticed recently that I had no readers in Greenland. As in ZERO. Which is completely ridiculous. And it got me to thinking … Wouldn’t it be awesome to GO to Greenland? I could write a review of the entire country while making new friends along the way. And I could chronicle the whole thing … right here on ODNT.

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BUT WAIT!!!

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Before you read the post below, please check out the following posts that led up to this one:

Hello, Greenland? Can You Hear Me?

Letter #1 to the Greenland Tourism Bureau

Letter #2 to the Greenland Tourism Bureau

OMG, You Guys! Greenland Called!!!

September 15, 2013

Dear Uiloq,

Thanks so much for writing back. I can only imagine how busy an employee of a tourism office that covers such a vast and interesting expanse of the world must be. You are correct about my wanting to visit your country as a travel writer. I review all kinds of products ranging from trendy, high-end headphones to blockbuster horror films to children’s books about underwear. So why not Greenland, right? Of course, right.

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Because you know the area so well, you would likely be a great person to point me in the direction of the cities or regions I should contact directly about a visit. I would love your advice or the advice of anyone there in your office. You guys are the experts. And, with a little luck, I will be one day soon as well. (What an honor it would be to call myself a Greenlandic Expert!) I’ve been reading up on your country non-stop and I’ve learned that all of your cities are established on the coastline because it’s the only area that is ice-free. I also know that Greenland has only two stoplights, both located in Nuuk, your country’s capital. When you google that traffic light fact, my website is now the second listing that comes up for that information (see below).

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Suffice it to say, visiting Greenland to write all about it is definitely at the very top of my Bucket List. (Do you guys know the expression “Bucket List” in Greenland? I’m afraid that term would not translate literally. For that reason, I’ve included a Wikipedia link explaining it here: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_does_’bucket_list’_mean. Additionally, there was a movie made about this concept appropriately titled The Bucket List starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. Are you familiar with these American actors? I heard the movie was pretty good but I never actually saw it myself. Hey, maybe we could all see it together when I get to Greenland!)

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But I digress …

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Yes, I want to visit Greenland. As soon as possible. Ideally, it might be nice to visit on June 21, your national holiday, but I’ll gladly come there any day of the year. Except Christmas (December 25). I’m a mom and I should probably be home for that day. 🙂

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In the meantime, can you do me two favors?

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1. Can you send me the names and email addresses for the individual cities I should contact about visiting to do a travel review?
2. Can you please spread the word about my humor blog (OldDogNewTits.com)? I have no readership from Greenland. None! And I’m ready to start seeing that white void (below) turn yellow … and orange … and maybe even some day red!.

I need people from Greenland to CLICK THE LINK … PLEASE! To read what what I’ve written about you guys so far, click here.

Until then, I’ll keep showing my support and wearing the colors (see below). I can’t wait to hear from you guys. I’m SO excited!

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Michele Robert Poche

http://olddognewtits.com

New Orleans, Louisiana

United States of America

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So, for now, I’m putting all my eggs in Uiloq’s basket. Here’s hoping that basket also includes a plane ticket, hotel accommodations and some seriously warm boots. Size 7, please.

Come on, Greenland and Uiloq. I’m DYING to meet you both!

To follow the dumbassery as it unfolded, please check out these posts first:

Hello, Greenland? Can You Hear Me?

Letter #1 to the Greenland Tourism Bureau

Letter #2 to the Greenland Tourism Bureau

September 11, 2013

Dear Michele.

Thanks for your email. And I am sorry that we did not answer your email before, but we have had a lot of requests, and have just reached your to answer.

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It sounds very good, that you’re interested in our beautiful country.

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I understand that you want some opportunity to realizes your project. And it is always a pleasure to know that someone would like to do something in Greenland.

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But unfortunately as I wrote, the last several years we have had a really tight budget, which means that we can not give any kind of supporting to any kind projects, which implying all kind of support as traveling, accommodation etc. etc.

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I´ll suggest you to find the informations in our website at the following website, and search for town & regions and you´ll find the contact informations there.

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www.greenland.com

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If you need more of my assistance or have any questions, please write me back.

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Wish you good luck from here.

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Inussiarnersumik inuulluaqqusillunga / Best Regards

Uiloq Mathæussen

Ikiorti ilinniartuusoq / Student assistant

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Visit Greenland

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Hans Egedesvej 29

Postboks 1552/1615

3900 Nuuk

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Remember my post entitled Hello, Greenland? Can You Hear Me? Yeah? Well, let the letter writing campaign begin!

September 6, 2013

Hello, People of Greenland!

My name is Michele and I write a humor blog (website) over in the United States, more specifically in New Orleans. Have you heard of New Orleans? We appreciate our seafood as much as you do, except we tend to drown ours in fiery sauces and often serve it with rice. But I didn’t contact you today to talk about fish. Rather, I’m writing because I recently noticed a glaring void of Greenlanders in my readership. As in zero. (See the map below. The darker the color, the great the amount of readership in that territory. Notice Greenland is LILY white.)

For this reason, I featured Greenland today on my blog (which henceforth shall be referred to as ODNT). Here is the link for the featured post. https://olddognewtits.com/2013/09/06/hello-greenland-can-you-hear-me/

As you will see when you click the link (please DO click the link), I explained the problem to my readers and proceeded to share a lot of (oh, let’s just call them) tongue-in-cheek tweets I sent a while ago to Greenland in an attempt to mend fences and nurture our relationship. The backbone of ODNT is, after all, made primarily of humor. Humor and honesty. Plus a little cheese wherever we can squeeze it in.

Why am I writing you today? Well, as I stated in my post, I really want to boost my Greenland readership, even if only by one person. Can you guys help me out? You must know at least one fellow countryman who needs a good laugh now and then. Or perhaps even YOU!

I so look forward to hearing from you guys. Aluu! Ulloq naalluariariuk! (That’s supposed to be ‘Have A Nice Day!’ Thank goodness I didn’t need to say it aloud.)

Michele Robert Poche

P.S. Should you ever need someone to write a travel review of your beautiful country, please call on me immediately. The pictures I’ve come across in my research are quite simply amazing. And, again, I love seafood … although I have yet to try whale. 🙂

Greenland, can you hear us? We’re just dying to meet you!

Stay tunes for more in this series ….