Tag Archives: mel

The Trail of Tears (This one has nothing to do with Native Americans or Billy Ray Cyrus)

Posted on November 14, 2012 | 30 comments

 Remember my friend, Trifecta? Well, he (or she … I’ve never been sure) is turning one this month and celebrating with a special writing prompt that can only be completed with a partner. Not surprisingly, I’m working with Mel at AccordingToMags.com. She wooed me actually. I was so flattered. She is the yin to my yang. The Ernie to my Bert. The Peaches to my Herb. The … whatever. She. Completes. Me.

 * * * * * * * * * *

So … here’s the prompt Trifecta put up this week.

  • Charts and optimal dates and preferential temperatures. One line or two. As if she could summon whatever it is that makes up the human soul as easily as she could a cab on a busy New York avenue.

And … here’s Mel’s additional 33-100 words.

  • And just like the cabs that passed her by, ignoring the urgency in her body language, she felt herself losing hope that she would never get to where she desperately wanted to go. Maybe those missed moments were meant to steer her in another direction? She feared waiting too long and with each step forward, she began to lose sight of her original plan. Luckily, she had left a trail of tears along the way to help guide her back.

Now … enter me. I’m supposed to write 33-100 more words to link here. And we’re in SUCH a deep and earnest place. *PANIC*

  • Sadly though, she was completely unaware of the heat wave that would soon befall her fair city. And the same tears that COULD have carried her home now sizzled on the steaming pavement beneath her feet, disappearing into the air and creating a fog that would serve to blind her and lead her forever astray.

OFFICIALLY, my entry ends here. That’s what Mel and I agreed upon. There were originally three more sentences Mel and I elected to leave out. And I understand why Mel gently suggested they hit the cutting room floor. Still, I think anytime you can work German pork products into a story, you totally should. UNOFFICIALLY, of course. So close your eyes, Trifecta. Here’s the coda.

  • Plus, now she was craving something that sizzled. Like a good knockwurst. Which, ironically, probably meant that she was, in fact, finally pregnant.

Good Lord. Sometimes I exhaust myself.

20120407-223706.jpg

30 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , ,

Ketchup With Us #5

Posted on November 1, 2012 | 10 comments

When Mel and I first came up with this KWU prompt, I knew right away who I’d be calling for a story. My friend, Vanessa, experienced some seriously crazy chiz in an apartment she leased with her husband during their first year of marriage. The actual story is a rather lengthy and deeply disturbing one that I forced myself to cull down to fit the 57-or-less mold. Every word of it is (gulp) true.

Every day, lights flickered and knobs twisted independently. Pictures turned eschew. The thermostat inexplicably vacillated between 55 and 90. Fixtures fell from the ceiling and the armoire door swung open every night. At 3am precisely. A neighbor finally spoke up. The last tenant in the apartment had been gruesomely murdered. And the crime was never solved.

* * * * * * * * * *

For a quick explanation of this link-up, click here. In short, Mel and I will post a picture or video with a writing prompt on the 1st and 15th of every month. All you need to do is respond in 57 words or less. In any form. We love creativity. And, with each prompt, we’ll feature a writer from the previous link-up. Which reminds me …

Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer for today is …

Edward Hotspur

The Rules of Play

  1. Follow us on Twitter (Michele/Mel ) and Facebook (Michele /Mel).
  2. Post the ‘Ketchup With Us’ button (below) in your post.
  3. Link your entry’s URL to the linky at the bottom of one of our posts.
  4. Tweet your post to both of our handles with the hashtag #KetchupWithUs so we can RT you.
  5. Please turn off your captcha. It’s the right thing to do … and the tasty way to do it.

olddognewtits.com

‘KETCHUP WITH US’ – Prompt #5

In 57 words or less, tell us a ghost story … real or fiction.

Oh, and ONE … MORE … THING! This week, Mel and I will choose two entrants to receive an autographed copy of ‘The Underwear Book’ by New York Times Best Selling Author Todd Parr. Simply SCARE THE PANTS OFF EVERYONE with your entry! So go. Go NOW! Seriously, what are you waiting for?!!?

20120407-223706.jpg

10 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Ketchup With Us #4

Posted on October 15, 2012 | 14 comments

Halloween is looming so Mel & I have decided to scare the __________ out of ourselves.

(Choose as many as apply.)

  1. heck/hell/snot/crap/shit
  2. daylights (living, everliving and everloving )
  3. dickens
  4. bejesus
  5. wits/willies

It’s time to Ketchup With Us about horror films. I am an enormous coward in this area. Which is why I expect a huge thank you from each and every one of you for the field work I put into this writing prompt. With the moral support of my friend, Vanessa, I summoned every shred of my courage to drag myself to see the latest screamer to hit theaters – House at the End of the Street. Seriously, since I saw that horrifying movie last week, I have lain (I hate that stupid word) in bed having to pee but paralyzed for an hour in the middle of the night. More than once. Thanks to my crippling fears, I’m probably well on my way to a UTI.

But this behavior is nothing new for me. I think it all started with this movie. (You go ahead and watch. I’m covering my eyes and ears.)

(Peeking from under hands) Is it over? Okay, good. For a quick explanation of this link-up, click here. In short, Mel and I will post a picture or video with a writing prompt on the 1st and 15th of every month. All you need to do is respond in 57 words or less. In any form. We love creativity. And, with each prompt, we’ll feature a writer from the previous link-up. Which reminds me …

Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer for today is …

Welcome to Grand Central

The Rules of Play

  1. Follow us on Twitter (Michele/Mel ) and Facebook (Michele /Mel)
  2. Post the ‘Ketchup With Us’ button (below) in your post.
  3. Link your entry’s URL to the linky at the bottom of one of our posts.
  4. Tweet your post with the hashtag #KetchupWithUs AND both of our handles so we know to RT you.
  5. Please turn off your captcha. Every time a blogger turns off captcha, an angel gets its wings.

olddognewtits.com

‘KETCHUP WITH US’ – Prompt #4

In 57 WORDS OR LESS, retell the plot line of your favorite horror movie. And, if you can find a good one, be sure to include a movie clip of your own. (God, I’m gonna be so freakin’ scared going through these entries. )

20121011-215042.jpg

20120407-223706.jpg

14 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Ketchup With Us #3

Posted on October 1, 2012 | 7 comments

MEL: Just write about a similar story from your past, Michele. It’ll be easy.

ME: (under breath) Easy for YOU maybe … you unscrupulous THUG!

It’s Ketchup With Us time and my co-host, Mel at According to Mags, had a unique idea for the writing link-up. To illustrate it, she wrote about one of the many foolhardy misdeeds of her youth. Frankly, when I read it, I was appalled. Shocked. And appalled. There were a few moments there that I seriously considered backing out of this whole Ketchup thing with her. I mean, you think you know a person, right?

Anyway, I’m sorry to disappoint you guys but I have nothing that comes even close to Mel’s story. It’s not like I ever cheated on a science test and got grounded so I couldn’t go to the Adam Ant concert … or snuck out to toilet paper the boy around the corner’s house and put a big rainbow-y Rick Springfield bumper sticker on his car. No, sir. But doesn’t that so sound like the kind of thing that our friend, MEL, would do. (laughs condescendingly)

For a quick explanation of the link-up, click here. In short, Mel and I will post a picture or video with a writing prompt on the 1st and 15th of every month. All you need to do is respond in whatever form strikes your fancy. Be creative. And, with each prompt, we’ll feature a writer from the previous link-up. Which reminds me, we’re happy to honor one of the only boys brave enough to link up last week.

Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer for today is …

Brain Tomahawk

The Rules of Play (Please check ’em out for us, guys!)

  1. Follow us on Twitter (Michele/Mel ) and Facebook (Michele /Mel)
  2. Post the ‘Ketchup With Us’ button (below) in the body of your post.
  3. Link your entry’s URL (not your blog URL) to the linky at the bottom of one of our posts.
  4. Tweet us your post. Please include both of our handles AND the hashtag #KetchupWithUs so we can RT you.
  5. Please turn off your captcha. (Don’t know what that means? It’s when your commenters are forced to enter nonsensical codes to establish their non-roboticness. But, seriously, robots HATE writing link-ups. And Ketchup. So, I think we’re good.)

olddognewtits.com

‘KETCHUP WITH US’ – Prompt #3

Tell us in 57 WORDS OR LESS about a time you were caught red-handed, like a rat in a trap, with your hand in the cookie jar.

20120928-003112.jpg


20120407-223706.jpg

7 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , , ,

Ketchup With Us #2

Posted on September 15, 2012 | 6 comments

“19 posts! NINETEEN, MEL!”

I texted this nerd message to Mel at the closing of our first ever Ketchup With Us link-up! We couldn’t have been happier about it. You guys were awesome and we truly loved reading every single one of your entries. But now we know what it feels like to be the jerks who have to (randomly!) select ONE post to feature in each link-up. Yes, I said random. Never mind the fact that this post mentions goat’s milk … which brings me to cheese … which … wait, where was I?

So, our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer for today is …

Honey Badger

What’s that? You’ve never even heard of the Ketchup With Us link-up? (To veterans) Okay, will those of you already in the know please step to the back so we can get the others up to speed? Thank you. Feel free to take out your independent novels and read a few minutes. (To rookies) Hello, new friends. For a quick, three-minute Cliff’s Notes version of what’s happening, click here. On the 1st and 15th of each month, Mel and I will post the same picture or video with a writing prompt on our blogs. Please respond in 57 WORDS OR LESS in the form of a story, a poem, a song you wrote in the shower, a cat food jingle or whatever strikes your fancy. All we seek is creativity. Each week, we’ll post a Featured Writer who poured it all out for us in the previous link-up.

The Rules of Play … plus a few other friendly suggestions:

  1. Follow us on Twitter (Mel/Michele) and Facebook (Mel /Michele)
  2. Post ‘Ketchup With Us’ button (below) in the body of your post.
  3. Link your entry’s URL (not your blog URL) to the linky at the bottom of one of our posts.
  4. Tweet us your post with the hashtag #KetchupWithUs so we can RT your ketchup-y self.
  5. Please turn off your captcha for commenting. It makes people angry. I won’t say who.

olddognewtits.com

Attention! ¡Atención! Achtung!

Gratuitous ODNT plug – Today’s prompt reminds me of a post I wrote a while back entitled Let’s Embarrass Me. Topic: Famous Crushes. In case that’s at all relevant.

‘KETCHUP WITH US’ – Prompt#2

Tell us in 57 words or less about your biggest celebrity crush from childhood. Or, you know, now. Either way.

20120911-115043.jpg

20120407-223706.jpg

6 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , , ,

According to ODNT (A Special Birthday Surprise for a Friend)

Posted on September 1, 2012 | 6 comments

Guapo: (drumming fingers on desk) What are YOU going to write?

Me: (sucking down coffee) I don’t know. (rocking back and forth on haunches) I’m trying to think.

Guapo: You know the other girls are already done, right? Lance, too. I think he even set his to music.

Me: (rolling eyes) I know. I heard. (sighing defeatedly) Mel makes this look so damned easy on According to Mags.

Guapo: (shrugging shoulders) Well, in her defense, she does have two adorable kids.

Me: (rising to feet defensively) And …?

Guapo: (recoiling in fear) Calm down. Your kids are great, too. I just meant hers were still little.

Me: (shaking head & sitting) Oh, my God. I know. I’m sorry. I just (starting to cry) … I mean, how does she do it?

Guapo: I don’t know, Michele. I don’t know. (refilling coffee cup) Maybe it’s a West Virginia thing.

I’m writing this post today for my friend, Mel at According to Mags. Today is her birthday. And a few of her writing pals and I got together to assemble this little surprise. To view her other birthday salutes, be sure to click the links for all of my fellow party givers listed at the bottom of this post.

But let’s talk a little more about Mel. She and I met online via our love of writing. Just like eHarmony … but for like-minded friends. We even traveled and roomed together last month for a writing conference in NYC. And … when neither stole the other’s kidney, uploaded naked shower pictures to the internet or stood over staring creepily at the other while sleeping … we deemed it a success.

So, without further verbosity on my part, please allow me to share The Best of Mel (According to ODNT). Go visit her when you can and say hi. You won’t be sorry. She’s a lovely, do-anything-for-you, give-you-the-shirt-off-her-back kind of girl. But, seriously, if you’re only going to get her shirt … well, dude, you’re a creeper. Move on.

Check out some of my favorite ATM posts:

I could go on and on. But you can stop by her place any time and see for yourself. Just be sure to leave everything where you found it. I’m not sure if Mel’s a the-ceramic-penguin-always-faces-due-south-kind-of-person or not, so let’s not tempt fate. I do not wish to be hobbled.

(DID YOU SEE THAT MOVIE, MEL? WELL, DID YOU?)

Oh, and before I go, if you didn’t already see it, Mel and I are starting a little project today called ‘Ketchup with Us.’ It’s a semi-monthly writing exercise that we’ll be hosting on both of our sites. To learn more about it, you can read Mel’s post or mine after you finish snooping through all of her other stuff above.

Happy Birthday, Mel. Wish I was there in person to celebrate!

Click to meet my partners in crime for Mel’s birthday party:

20120407-223706.jpg

6 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , ,

Ketchup with Us #1

Posted on September 1, 2012 | 9 comments

Hear Ye! Hear Ye! It’s Here (Ye) … our very first Link-Up! 

Mel at According to Mags and I have paired up to bring you some shenanigans of the ketchup variety. And … if you’re staring at the screen wondering “What in the WORLD is this lunatic talking about?” … click here for a three-minute, Cliff’s Notes version of what’s happening all around you. Now, before we proceed any further, I must go over the official rules of this assignment. (Puts on reading glasses, clears throat and bangs gavel. Mel makes a note to hide obnoxious gavel before the next post.)

On the 1st and 15th of each month — (loses concentration to interruption) You. Yes, you, madam. In the back. Please put your hand down. We haven’t even started. … What? Well, I’m sure Mel brought her own Cadbury Mini-Eggs. … Please calm down, madam. Yes, it is wonderful that you’re her “Number One Fan” but I think she’ll just stick to eating the ones she brought from home. (Whispers to security, “Could someone please get this nut job outta here? She’s creeping out the regulars.”) Okay. Now, where was I?

On the 1st and 15th of each month, Mel and I will post the same picture or video with a writing prompt on our blogs. We ask you to respond in 57 words or less. It can be a story, a poem, a song you wrote in the shower, a cat food jingle or whatever strikes your fancy. All we seek is creativity. Each week, we’ll post a Featured Blogger who poured it all out for us in the previous link-up.

Here’s how you play:

  1. Follow Mel and Michele on Twitter.
  2. Follow Mel and Michele on Facebook.
  3. Post fancy schmancy ‘Ketchup With Us’ button (below) in the body of your post.
  4. Use the hashtag #KetchupWithUs on Twitter to help spread the ketchup-y goodness.

olddognewtits.com

‘KETCHUP WITH US’ – Prompt#1

Tell us in 57 words or less the best advice you ever received from someone older than you that you admire.

20120828-123655.jpg


20120407-223706.jpg

a mom blog community!

9 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Blogging from Inside Hurricane Isaac

Posted on August 29, 2012 | 5 comments

Hi Guys,

This is Michele’s friend, Mel.  As most of you know, she is currently dealing with no power and very spotty cell service due to Hurricane Isaac.  She wrote the following post, but couldn’t get it to publish, so she handed over the keys to the ODNT Palace.  I guess this is like me coming in to feed Milo and Herve … and having some cheese from the fridge.

Oh! Just one more thing before I hit the road.  If you haven’t seen her latest two posts, they are  must reads. The first is ‘A Letter from Katrina to Isaac‘ and  the second is ‘The Toilet Story (“inspired” by Hurricane Katrina).’ You all are in our thoughts,  friend!

Now, without further ado, I give you Michele’s post …

* * * * * * * * * *

This post is going to be messy as it’s being fully generated from my phone.

Generated. God, what I wouldn’t do for a generator. How big are they anyway? Maybe I should ask Dave to stuff one in my Christmas stocking.

We lost power last night at quarter ’til nine so it’s been over eighteen hours ago now. That means everything in the refrigerator is officially toast. As far as the freezer goes, they say a FULL one will last 48 hours. But who the hell has a full freezer going into a hurricane?!!? We’ve been trying to empty that mother for days. And a HALF-full freezer only lasts 24 hours. So, I’ll guess we’ll be eating peanut butter, potato chips and canned beans for the next few days. Anyone have any recipes they want to share?

When we lost power last night, I had a little moment of clarity. Also known as a minor panic attack. Dave sadly had to leave town for work yesterday. It was one of the hardest decisions he’s ever had to make. And trust me when I say he and I made it together.

To complicate matters further, just as he was about to make his final decision, we realized that one of the pieces of outdoor furniture he brought in to secure the house had a wasp nest in it. And now there were wasps flying through the house so he (with his severe wasp allergy) was running around trying to kill them all and take out the nest before my girl (and her crippling fear of wasps) caught on. I honestly think that he was so angry about the whole situation that he killed all the wasps with his bare hands and feet.

And then that was it. It was the final straw. He wasn’t leaving. He wasn’t getting on a plane. This whole scenario was completely insane. He just couldn’t bring himself to leave us as a Cat 2 hurricane was looming. Until he realized he’d be costing so many other families the income generated from this project. So he went. Very reluctantly. And I assured him we would be fine.

Which we have been so far. Except for the fact that last night’s power outage turned me (and NOT my kids) into a squirrely five-year-old who immediately called my neighbor, also home alone with her two kids. And she invited us to spend the night.

The kids and I have never packed faster. We threw a change of clothes, toothbrushes, pillows, a cot, a few stuffed animals, flashlights, fruit and Pringles (where’s my endorsement money?) into a bag and dashed to her home in the middle of the wind and rain in darkness to hunker down for the night. Our houses are literally ten feet apart but the sprint over was still pretty frightening.

And we’re still here. Everyone took a little something to help with sleep last night and now we’re all just up staring out the windows … waiting and listening for what will happen next.

I still can’t believe it’s hitting again on August 29. And I just can’t wait for it to be over.

Stay in touch with me on Twitter @OldDogNewTits. Thanks, guys. Your support means a lot.

20120407-223706.jpg

5 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , ,

My Trip to NYC … or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Wear the Ketchup Costume

Posted on August 24, 2012 | 16 comments

Remember my recent trip to NYC? The one where I attended a writing conference with my pal, Mel at According to Mags? The schedule was intense with breakfast sessions starting in the mornings at 8am (which may as well have been 4:30am) and continued activity the whole day that went straight through to the parties which wrapped up at 1am. Realize that both of those times ended with AM. We stayed pretty damned busy.

Except for the last day. The day where we had nothing to do. The day where we had nothing special planned. So we did something a little … unorthodox. And then decided to make it the theme of our brand-spanking-new, biweekly writing link-up.

Introducing …

20130103-121018.jpg

Every once in a while, we all need to break out of the stuffy molds we have set ourselves in. Our day to day routines can quickly become mundane and we can easily lose ourselves in the monotony. Because who has time to be deliciously spontaneous … and delightfully unpredictable … and defiantly self-confident enough to just be a little silly?

That’s where the Ketchup With Us link-up comes in.

Check in with us on the 1st & 15th of each month. It’s just like pay day … except that nobody gets any money. It’ll be fun and easy …  because all of this stuff revolves around somebody wearing a ketchup costume. So how complicated can it be???

You KETCHUP with your friends.

You KETCHUP on your sleep.

So be sure to come KETCHUP With Us on September 1st!

20120407-223706.jpg

16 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , , ,