Today = bathing suit shopping … going to the first day of school naked … stepping out of my comfort zone. Why? Because I’m trying something different here. Something challenging.
“What?” you ask, feigning interest to be polite because your mama raised you right.
I’m supposed to create a video answering a handful of questions about expressions and pronunciations in my part of the world/neighborhood/holler … and be entertaining doing it.
(panic … clammy palms … nervous laughter)
My friend, Mel, passed this opportunity along to me and my initial thought was “No way!” (Actually, there was, in fact, a third word in the middle of those two but I strive to keep this site rated PG-13 so, for now, we’ll pretend I said follicular.) Mel made a great little video blog (or VLOG in crippling online nerdspeak) for the challenge which is brought to you by Kelley’s Break Room, by the way. But, after watching Mel’s video as well as Kelley’s, I was inspired. I was courageous. And I thought WHAT THE FOLLICULAR! So I just pulled the trigger.
Anyway, here goes nothing. God, I hope you don’t hate my recorded voice as much as I do. “Enjoy!”
What about YOU?
Know a weird expression from your neck of the woods?
Oh, my God! I had SUCH a good time at the party last weekend. You guys rock for going to all that trouble for me. I knew it was going to be epic but I still can’t believe you actually got Tim & Helena to fly all the way over. Did you see them when they got up to sing Ebony & Ivory? They were freakin’ hilarious. PLEASE tell me someone was videotaping the karaoke stage. (Or … on second thought … maybe not. Can you imagine if some of that stuff got on YouTube? LOL!)
And you’ve got to tell your friend that her cake was incredible. I totally want her recipe. Except I’m going to sub out the walnuts for pecans. What do you think? I want to make it for the 4th of July party on the boat next month. Tell Dean & Viv we’re going to have a chocolate fountain, too. And TONS of fireworks from my cousin, Eddie. You guys better come!
Hello? And before I forget …. Happy Birthday to YOU!!!! I love that we get these three days to celebrate together every year. But seriously … next year, instead of two separate parties, let’s just have a big one together. But, this time, I’m hosting it. On the island, okay? We’ve got plenty of room for everybody to stay a few days. But everyone needs to bring his own pillow. (You know me and shared pillows. Soooo gross.)
Call me when you guys are ready for your big birthday dinner tonight. And ask Dave what he’s wearing, please. I might want to borrow a jacket from him. Maybe the light brown one. Think he’d mind? I rented the entire upstairs at Antoine’s so bring whoever you want. We can stay all night.
Talk soon,
Johnny
P.S. Keith took this picture of us during our Grease Medley. Right before he passed out on your sofa all night.
On behalf of the whole family, I want to wish you the happiest of birthdays on this … your FIFTIETH birthday. I am truly floored. You still don’t look a day older than Benny & Joon to me. Which is now an astonishing 20 years old! (We still need to make that sequel we keep threatening to make, by the way. LOL!)
Anyway, I just wanted to remind you about your party. As requested, we’re keeping things small with only the short list of friends we talked about last month. Ooh, and I found somebody to make that Caribbean Pineapple Upside Down Cake you mentioned. She’s a good friend of mine from school. It sounds amazing and it should complement the “Happy Birthday, Mon!” island theme you finally selected. (Yes, I know. “No surprises, Michele! And this time, I MEAN it!” Blah, blah, blah. Whatever, J.)
Please don’t forget to bring your guitar. I’ll have mine, too, so we can play that duet we used perform together in college. But don’t laugh! I haven’t kept up my playing as well as you have. And I fully expect to suck. But that’s sort of what makes it funny, remember? I mean … as long as we’re both wearing the Rastafarian wigs and all. And I forgot to tell you … Dave got his hands on an old karaoke machine. The kids are going to be so pumped. Tell Lily-Rose that Viv wants to sing Wicked with her. But this time in ENGLISH! 🙂
Have a great day with the kids at the church picnic this afternoon. Sorry it had to fall on your birthday. But we’ll make it up for it in Neil Diamond impersonations tonight! (HAHAHA!)
Can’t wait,
Michele
P.S. I’m wearing the red shoes you sent me from Madrid. You were right. They match my sundress perfectly. Thanks!
I pulled into my driveway last night and spied a curious, oversized, rectangular package leaning against the side door of the house. And, since someone in this family has a birthday coming up, I got a little excited. A little prematurely excited.
The backstory? My boy, Dean, and his friend partnered up for their final math project this past school year. It was HUGE. As in five feet long. And any parent who has raised a child above the age of seven knows exactly how it feels to bring home your child’s model solar system/(mal)functioning volcano/perfect replica of the Mayflower. He worked tirelessly for hours on it. He poured his little heart and soul into it. He’s so damned proud of it. Plus it’s usually such a great addition to your home decor and can only enhance the look of any room.
So, how in the hell could you ever think of parting with it. … Right?
Here’s where group projects are great. Only one of the kids gets to take it home. It’s like the Judgment of Solomon. No one who truly loves that stupid project could stand to see it divided so that all may partake of it. Thus, it can only go to one home. And if you’re really lucky, it’s not yours. Such was the case with our recent enormous math project.
Until …
Bear in mind that Hershey-zilla is sitting atop my fireplace hearth … and therefore is even WIDER.
Attached to my beautiful new gift was the following note:
Dear Poche Family,
We, the (name omitted out of SHEER kindness) Family, have been SO selfish and we greatly apologize! We have been enjoying the giant Hershey bar for over two weeks and did not even realize that SO much time has gone by as it sat and sat and sat in our den!
We are truly NOT a selfish family. So, in the spirit of fairness, we feel … no, we KNOW that the right thing to do is to hand over the giant candy bar so that your family can bask in the glory of the 98A.
Love, The (again, name omitted … but if we have to keep this thing too long, who knows?) Family
P.S. Mrs. (teacher’s name at whose home we’ll be secretly dropping off the giant candy bar later this week) suggested hanging it above the TV in the den.
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If only it were real. I’d be busy eating instead of blogging right now. (Dork.)
I want chocolate.
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Curious to know if there’s more to this story? Well, yeah. Actually, there is. Click here.
Summer’s here. And you’re probably reading this post on a beach somewhere with a freezy drink in your hand. Or with your waterproof smartphone as you dive 100 feet below sea level to swim along an incandescent coral reef. Or maybe you’re just home, like me, planning your next big trip. In any event, that’s what Mel and I are talking about today. Vacations. We want to hear about a memorable one (notice I didn’t say it had to be a GOOD memory) from your lifetime.
Over the years, we’ve taken them to many of the big cities in this country. But it was when we brought them overseas that I saw some of their biggest reactions. London, England. July 2009. Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, The Eye, Tea at Harrod’s, Wimbledon, The Tube, The River Thames, Oxford (Harry Potter!) and so much more.
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For a quick explanation of this link-up, click here. In short, Mel and I will post a picture or video with a writing prompt on the 1st and 15th of every month. You can write your entry in any form. We love creativity. And, with each prompt, we’ll feature a writer from the previous link-up. Which reminds me …
Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer for today is …
The rules are … THERE ARE NO RULES! Just guidelines. And we’d love it if you posted our button and followed us on Facebook (Michele /Mel) and Twitter (Michele/Mel).
Who says it’s impossible to shop for Father’s Day? Now you can do it all from the comfort of home … thanks to Datevitation.
And, as luck would have it, I’m hosting a giveaway for Datevitation, the first and only custom love coupon book platform out there where you can create your own one-of-a-kind gift book for Dad, Grandpa or any other family patriarch. Each page represents a fun activity you can do together. From thumb wars and silly string fights to horseback riding and stargazing, they’ve got you covered with more than 350 different delightfully funky designs. And Father’s Day is just the tip of the iceberg. At Datevitation, you can easily create a book to anyone from anyone for any possible occasion.
It takes only minutes to put it together and they’ll ship it right to your door. Interested in making one? I’m offering you two ways to jump on board:
Place your order by June 6th using the code ‘ODNT10’ to receive $10 off.
Okay, world, tell the truth. Ever wake up in the morning, get dressed, grab your shopping list, jump in the car and drive down to your local supermarket/wholesaler/drugstore only to find that the one thing (or two/three/etc.) you’re looking for is completely out of stock? It’s frustrating, right? You want to find the store manager and grab him by his tacky uniform issue tie and demand that he get you that can-of-garbanzo-beans/Himalayan-ionic-natural-crystal-salt-pack/Gingko-Biloba right away.
Why can’t my stores keep their shelves stocked for crying out loud?!!?
Well, what if I told you that these empty spots on the shelves could mean cash in YOUR pocket? Yes, you heard me right. Allow me to introduce one of the newest apps to hit the app store shelves (and promised NEVER to be out of stock!) called gapNsnap.
Mel and I were asked to review this innovative new app available free for your iPhone with an Android version coming very soon. Once downloaded, “opting-in” to the program takes only a minute and you can begin using it … and earning money … immediately!
And it’s soooo easy to use!
Open gapNsnap on your phone.
Click “Campaigns” to learn about any open contests.
Click “Select Location” and locate where you are or “Add” the store manually.
Look for empty spots on the shelves while shopping.
Click the gapNsnap camera button and take a picture of ANY and ALL empty spots on the shelves.
Keep this mock template in mind when taking pictures. Make sure the significant data is legible by tapping on the shelf tag to focus on its clarity in the photo.
For my first gapNsnap adventure, I visited Target with my daughter, Vivien. It took only about thirty seconds of explanation … and a promise of half of the financial incentive … to get her moving. I expected to find ten. Maybe twenty. Honestly, I was just trying it out for the purposes of my review. But, after about 20 minutes, I already had 100 snaps, enough to complete our qualification for the first campaign to earn us $10.
Needless to say, my little overachiever used the next hour to get all the way to 550 snaps. (pause for reaction) No. YOU shut up. I AM being serious.
The moral of my story? It’s just that easy to make a little pocket change AND help your local stores stay on their toes. When you’re done, you click “End Session” and the snaps will begin “syncing” with headquarters whenever you’re within reach of a Wi-Fi source. The syncing takes a little while but … imagine my surprise when I woke up to my first incentive already deposited to my PayPal account this morning!!
Now, THAT’S efficiency.
So, the next time you haul yourself all the way to the stores and find a big empty space in place of whatever you’re looking for, remember your new mantra:
Wanna meet the masterminds behind this new phenomenon? They’re hosting a Twitter party tomorrow night starting at 8pm EST. The dress is business casual. See you there!
Okay, let’s get right down to it. I’m in a play. With my daughter. She LOVES live theater (thanks to me) and has learned to appreciate viewing it from the audience as well as from a position on the stage. She’s actually done quite a few shows compared to me at her age. Most of my experience came during my teens and twenties, but I’ve been in a show here and there since becoming a mom. The last thing I did was Tony & Tina’s Wedding. No singing, no dancing and a very loosely structured “plot” that encouraged comedic improvisation. Great for someone without a lot of time to prepare.
But that’s SO not the case now.
Vivien and I are currently in rehearsals for a huge musical production entitled Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat by a little-known composer named Andrew Lloyd Webber. Perhaps you’ve heard of him? (Wink) This show doesn’t know the meaning of improvisation. And the singing? It’s a continuous, multi-layered chorus of harmonies, varying genres and changeable tempos and rhythms enough to test any performer. Even the lyrics can be challenging.
You’ll see when you get to 2:45. That’s 57 colors spat out in rapid succession. And, yes, there are moves to go along with all of it. … MOVES!
Honestly, I’m not too worried about the singing. But the moves, dear Lord, THE MOVES! Also known as dancing. There is just so much dancing in this show. From the Charleston to the Jitterbug, from Apache to Calypso, from Western Square to 60s Go-Go. And then there’s me … floundering like a fish and just trying my damnedest not to fall off the stage … or worse … knock someone else off. Allow me to demonstrate my abilities with this video.
Keep your eye on Bobby during this number. I wanted to single out a particular moment but there were just so many. He is constantly a beat behind the others and actually stumbles a few times. Not that I’m making fun. (Pity)
Oh, and I forgot to mention that I may or may not have broken a toe a few days ago. By dropping a computer on it. The swelling is finally down but the deep purple is as vibrant as ever … and making a foot fist is completely out of the question. I snapped a picture of it but then decided unequivocally NOT to post it. (Apparently, I have limits to the grossness I will share. Who knew?)
So anyway, as you glide gracefully through your day, moving effortlessly from one destination to the next with all the agility and form of a majestic eagle, please say a little prayer that I might be able to get my spazzery under control for about a dozen performances in about a month.
My boy is graduating today. From 7th grade. It’s a New Orleans thing. Many of our high schools start in 8th grade (rather than 9th like the other 49 states in the union). And between my girl’s birthday yesterday and his ceremony today, I will probably have to take a few days off to cry in the back of my closet this week.
It seems like only yesterday that we were singing our favorite song from Sesame Street together. Then I turned around, but only for a moment. And I just don’t understand how, in the blink of an eye, we got from here ….
To here …
Congratulations, Dean – Class of 2013
You make me proud every day. I can’t wait to see what high school holds for you.
— Photo courtesy of Loupe Photography —
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“The most terrifying day of your life is the day the first one is born. Your life, as you know it … is gone. Never to return. But they learn how to walk, and they learn how to talk … and you want to be with them. And they turn out to be the most delightful people you will ever meet in your life.” — Bob, Lost in Translation
People with this name are excited by change, adventure, and excitement. They are dynamic, visionary and versatile, able to make constructive use of freedom. They fight being restricted by rules and conventions. They tend to be optimistic, energetic, intelligent, and to make friends easily. They may be changeable, restless, untidy, and rebellious.
Wow. I don’t think that name fits her at all. (wink)
Happy birthday to the amazing girl who brings glorious color, music and whimsy to my life every day.
Just writing about the daily dumbassery of life. The good, the bad and the so-utterly-mundane-that-you'd-think-I-wouldn't-even-bother-to-write-about-it.
OldDogNewTits 