Just joining us for the Hamilton Beach Toaster Chronicles? Get up to speed by reading these posts first:
- A Letter to Hamilton Beach … Toaster Department, Please
- Hamilton Beach wrote back! Cue the Pumpkin Pop-Tarts!
- Letter #2 to Hamilton Beach (Plus an Overdue Apology to Kmart)
- Wait! Hamilton Beach doesn’t BELIEVE me???
- Letter #3 to Hamilton Beach (I’m a lover, not a fighter)
- Hamilton Beach wrote back (I can almost smell the toast. Almost!)
- Letter #4 to Hamilton Beach (How am *I* the outlaw here?)
And it comes with TWO important responsibilities!!
1. Test the snot out of Toaster #2.
2. KILL TOASTER #1!!!
Okay. (deep breaths) I’m going to need some bread, bagels, waffles, Kellogg’s Limited Edition Frosted Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts, a sharp knife, a couple of blindfolds, a small kitchen garbage bag and a shovel. And possibly a priest or a therapist after I’m done. Ooh, and a Diet Coke.