Just joining us for the Hamilton Beach Toaster Chronicles? Get up to speed by first reading these postst:
- A Letter to Hamilton Beach … Toaster Department, Please
- Hamilton Beach Wrote Back! Cue the Pumpkin Pop-Tarts!
- Letter #2 to Hamilton Beach (Plus an Overdue Apology to Kmart)
- Wait! Hamilton Beach Doesn’t BELIEVE Me???
- Letter #3 to Hamilton Beach (I’m a lover, not a fighter)
- Hamilton Beach Wrote Back (I can almost smell the toast. Almost!)
- Letter #4 to Hamilton Beach (How am *I* the outlaw here?)
IT’S HERE!!!
And it comes with TWO important responsibilities!!
1. Test the snot out of Toaster #2.
2. KILL TOASTER #1!!!
Okay. (deep breaths) I’m going to need some bread, bagels, waffles, Kellogg’s Limited Edition Frosted Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts, a sharp knife, a couple of blindfolds, a small kitchen garbage bag and a shovel. And possibly a priest or a therapist after I’m done. Ooh, and a Diet Coke.
You guys feel ready? Let’s do this.
Click here to read the next installment of the Hamilton Beach Toaster Chronicles.
OldDogNewTits 
For a place called Olive Branch, this company sure was combative & difficult – plus they want you to kill a toaster?!
I knew you’d catch that, BT! 🙂
Ooo, sure you want to risk a limited edition Pop-Tart? Maybe you should try a sacrificial strawberry one first…
Point well made, Gayle. Point well made.
I don’t think that I have ever been this excited for someone to get a toaster as this. Why haven’t you posted a picture of the new baby?
Do you post a picture of a brand new baby before he is whisked to the side to check his color and the rest of his vitals? No, you wait ’til he’s breathing easily and wiped down a bit to share him with the world. 🙂
I’m just kidding, Anna. I sincerely appreciate your excitement. Pictures coming soon.
Seriously, that might be funny.
Ok, just read the whole epic tale. Do they really work out of a place called “olive branch”?? That is really remarkable. I sure hope your new toaster does all you’ve dreamed of…like toasting food properly and not catching on fire.
Ok see to me they would want the defective toaster back in its entirety to find out why exactly it went berserk to begin with. Kind of difficult to do with the cord cut don’t ya think. I am glad you got your new toaster though..
Exactly. I figured an autopsy was in order.
Hope that the new toaster is going to serve you well now!
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Wait a minute, wait a minute, back up – Limited Edition Frosted Pumpkin Pie Pop Tarts?? I missed it! Dammit.
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So…How is the toaster?! Inquiring minds want to know! Haha!