A Murder in Pictures (Sponsored by Hamilton Beach)


Just joining us for the Hamilton Beach Toaster Chronicles? For it all to make sense, you have to first read these posts:


First things first. With two identical toasters in the house, I thought it crucial that I irrefutably identify the culprit …


… and give him one last crack at his job. (A final cigarette seemed so redundant.)


He did not disappoint. (This photo was taken outside where the smoke forced us to flee.)

And then, the murder. But how?




Running down with the car?


Drowning/electrocution (Can you electrocute a toaster?)

I finally decided on a more humane method.


So I blindfolded the toaster …


… and myself …




Is this what you wanted, Hamilton Beach?


(super awkward silence)

It is finished.

And now, we’ll all just have to go on with our lives and try to pretend nothing ever happened.

(cue ominous music as camera slowly zooms out and screen fades to black)


22 responses to “A Murder in Pictures (Sponsored by Hamilton Beach)

  1. Um question did you test the other toaster before killing that one???

  2. From the prosecutor: “Allow me to introduce exhibit A of this Murder trial…”

  3. You had to, or it would have killed you first.

  4. I missed the sleepy eye mask thing when you sent the pic. That made me laugh out loud. That…and Milo looking in the bath tub. 🙂

  5. You look like Sandra Bullock in that last photo! Basically any movie where she’s overacting…you just captured it with that expression.

  6. I realize that your comment is not actually intended as a compliment but I’ve decided to take it that way. Because she’s pretty. 🙂

  7. I hope you gave it a proper burial when all was done. I will miss the toaster chronicles, but life goes on I guess.

  8. Stephanie @smtimmons

    Toaster #1 sleeps with the fishes.
    Leave the scissors, take the cannoli.

    I have so many Godfather references…..

  9. Well that’s ONE (or several) of taking care of your problem! Cheers to new toasters for Christmas you lucky girl!

  10. Noooo! The trauma!
    I am sort of like you. I have old cats and the same tits.

  11. Pingback: The ODNT 12 Days of Christmas – Take TWO! | OldDogNewTits

  12. I am dying! Just dying! This is awesome! I am def putting this on my holiday shopping list-NOT!!!!!

  13. Pingback: An Update on My Arby’s Letter | OldDogNewTits

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