Tag Archives: the murder of a toaster

A Murder in Pictures (Sponsored by Hamilton Beach)


 WAIT!!!

Just joining us for the Hamilton Beach Toaster Chronicles? For it all to make sense, you have to read these posts first:


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First things first. With two identical toasters in the house, I thought it crucial that I irrefutably identify the culprit …

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… and give him one last crack at his job. (A final cigarette seemed so redundant.)

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He did not disappoint. (This photo was taken outside where the smoke forced us to flee.)

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And then the murder. But how?

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Strangling?

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Running down with the car?

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Drowning/electrocution (Can you electrocute a toaster?)


I decided on a more humane method.


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So I blindfolded the toaster …

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… and myself …

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… AND I DID IT!!!

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Is this what you wanted, Hamilton Beach?

IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?!!?


(awkward silence)


It is finished.

And now we’ll all just have to go on with our lives and try to pretend nothing ever happened.

(cue ominous music as camera slowly zooms out and screen fades to black)

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This post was submitted for MamaKat’s writing prompt asking us to “talk about a problem you tackled this week.”

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