Who Wants to See a Movie on Me?

Posted on July 16, 2013 | 7 comments

Last Spring, I wrote a post entitled Four Indisputable Signs that My House is Haunted. Sure, it was written in jest. Well, mostly. I mean … even if a ghost did steal my toilet eraser back then, I’m not scared of him. Clearly, he is an apparition who cares that his mistakes be corrected. He wants to put his best (translucent) foot forward. How spooky can he be really?

Of course, not all ghostly experiences are quite so PG-rated. I’m from New Orleans which has often been dubbed The Most Haunted City in America. (America. Because, apparently, there are way scarier cities in Antarctica. Whatever, ghost raters.) Do I believe in this stuff? Well, frankly, I think there have been far too many cases of paranormal activity to dismiss them completely. Plus, it really pisses the ghosts off when you say you don’t believe in them. They’re not like fairies. They don’t die in these situations. They just get stronger and then they latch themselves onto YOUR VERY SOUL!

Which reminds me … there’s a movie opening on July 19th called The Conjuring. And, before you even watch the trailer, allow me to tell you that it chronicles a true story as experienced by pioneer ghost hunters, Ed & Lorraine Warren, in the 1970s.

Dude, I was alive in the 70s. I’m already scared of out my mind!

Why am I writing about this movie? Well, because Mel and I plan to see it together in Chicago. We’re attending an online writer’s conference there called BlogHer ’13. We both went last year in NYC and had a blast. But we’re not the only ones who will be peeing their pants this summer at the movie theater.

BECAUSE WE HAVE TICKETS TO GIVE AWAY!!

All you have to do is click the fancy pants Rafflecopter Giveaway link (below) and enter your information. We’ll be awarding up to four pairs of tickets which can be used at any theater (with the exception of AMC*) for the duration of the film’s run. Entries will be accepted until Sunday, July 21 at midnight EST.

Thanks to Grace Hill Media for providing the tickets.

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Click HERE to win.

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Good luck, moviegoers!!

* Don’t fret, my fellow New Orleanians. Apparently, Canal Place Theatres are not AMC-affiliated. So, if you win, you can see it there. And be sure to get a cheese plate. It’s so good that songs should be written about it.

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Tagged ed and lorraine warren, free tickets to a movie, free tickets to the conjuring, movie pass giveaway, the conjuring

Ketchup With Us #22

Posted on July 15, 2013 | 4 comments

I love roller coasters. I’ve ridden scads of ’em. From California Screamin’ on one side of the country to Rock ‘N’ Roller Coaster on the other. And doesn’t it always seem like these rides know how to push you to the very … very … VERY edgiest of edges? As in “Oh … My … God! … This is it. I’m gonna puke! I’M GONNA PUKE! I’M GONNNAAA ….. oh, wait. It leveled out. I’m good. I’m gonna be fine.”

I guess that’s why they say life is like a roller coaster. It knows just how hard it can push us to the edge of completely exploding everywhere (intestinally or otherwise) before it lets up and takes us down a calmer, less twisty-and-turny stretch for while. You guys know what I’m talking about, right?

BEFORE: Where should he go to kindergarten? How many days a week should she attend preschool? Is it time for a third child? Should we be looking for a bigger place?

August 29, 2005.

AFTER: Can the eight of us all really fit in your mom’s house? And for how long?

Yes, I went there. Because the storm certainly offered a helluva ride for any New Orleanian.

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For a quick explanation of this link-up, click here. In short, Mel and I will post a picture or video with a writing prompt on the 1st and 15th of every month. You can write your entry in any form. We love creativity. And, with each prompt, we’ll feature a writer from the previous link-up. Which reminds me …

Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer for today is …

Barbara

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RULES? WHO NEEDS ‘EM?!!?

The rules are … THERE ARE NO RULES! Just guidelines. And we’d love it if you posted our button and followed us on Facebook (Michele /Mel) and Twitter (Michele/Mel).

GRAB OUR BUTTON!

olddognewtits.com

‘KETCHUP WITH US’ – Prompt 22

In 57 words or less, tell us about a time in your life that you rode a roller coaster … figuratively, literally, existentially or whatever.

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Tagged according to mags, emotional roller coaster, ever feel like your life is on a roller coaster, good god but I love cheese, Hurricane Katrina, katrina rocked my world, ketchup with us, life is like a roller coaster, link up, mel, prompt 22, two women wearing ketchup costumes, woman wearing a ketchup costume, writing prompt

Lights! … Camera! … Vivien!

Posted on July 13, 2013 | 5 comments

Anyone remember the little video Vivien created for ODNT recently? She made a ketchup-flavored movie trailer with her friend, Alex. (That’s Vanessa’s girl for anyone paying attention to the madcap cast of characters around here.) Alex turned Viv on to an app called iMovie. It was $5. And I can’t believe I balked at it for even a second (I HATE paying for apps) considering she has made SIXTEEN MOVIES in only 6 days.

Ridiculous.

We now have movies made about Dean, Dave, Milo, Herve, a pepperoni pizza, every friend who stopped by the house in the last 6 days, a stuffed camel, SpongeBob – you name it, she’s made it into a movie. And imagine my delight at being able to actually gift (a split infinitive – embrace it!) some of these little films to the friends who have been featured in them.

So, it is without any further ado, pageantry, or other incoherent and unnecessary verbosity that I give you two of Viv’s latest film projects, honoring the adorable little people of my wonderfully supportive friend, Mel.

Roll tape, please ….

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Tagged according to mags, iMovie app, making movie trailers with a smart phone app, my daughter is making iMovies

Lazing on a Wednesday Afternoon

Posted on July 10, 2013 | 2 comments

Thanks, Freddie Mercury, for writing these lyrics and for allowing me to ~~bastardize … plagiarize~~ … get creative with them this afternoon. Posthumously, of course.

I’m feeling under the weather today and, as such, am medicated. Benadryled. Emphasis on drilled. So I’m trying to do a few things quickly before I doze off. And you guys are at the top of the list. (Bear in my mind, my kids just told me they were hungry. And I’m writing this little post first. That’s dedication. Or child neglect. You be the judge.)

Anyway, today’s post is going to be pretty darned easy. Why, you ask? (Somebody please ask.) Because I wrote the post a month ago for a writing friend of mine who goes by the handle, Hot Mess Mom. She’s traveling a bit this summer and asked a number of people to guest host at her website throughout the month of July. And I’m featured today.

I’ll tempt you with the title: I Am My Blog’s Bitch. Click here read it.

Geez, would you look at the time? I really have to go. The kids are hungry, the dryer is buzzing, the phone is ringing, the cat box is smelling … perhaps I should’ve taken something stronger.

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Tagged guest hosting for hot mess mom, hotmessmom.com

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to this Blog Post

Posted on July 9, 2013 | 9 comments

I’ve taken on a big project this summer.

A big, dusty-and-probably-mold-sporey, sometimes-emotional, sometimes-hilarious, sometimes-excruciatingly-boring and always-guaranteed-to-result-in-a-headache project.

Remember how my parents moved from my childhood home last spring? Well, I’m selling off their extensive record collection. I haven’t gone through everything yet but I’d estimate we’re talking about approximately 400 records, maybe more, dating from 1919 (the oldest I’ve found) to when records were dethroned by the almighty compact disc. Obviously, my parents were born after 1919. So, this collection is actually bigger than they are. My late grandmother’s stash is in there, too. As well as some that may have belonged to her mother (my GREAT grandmother). And, of course, my brother and I threw a few in from our collections back in the day. I think I saw ‘Seven and the Ragged Tiger’ in there somewhere. (Bonus points to the first commenter who can name that artist … without Googling it. We’ll just have to rely on the honor system here.)

The point of this post? Does there really have to be a point? Well, normally, I’d say no but I actually have two points for this one. Yes, I said TWO. Even though I’m only charging for you one today. (You’re welcome.)

(1) To any and all interested … I will be posting a full list of all titles and artists in this massive collection in the near future. I’m not a very savvy salesgirl so, if you team up with a partner, one of you can probably steal from me while the other distracts me with a bunch of stupid questions. I’ll go into more detail about the low-tech manner (make me an offer) I’m going to handle everything soon. Then, after a bit, I’m turning everything over to a good friend who handles these sales on eBay and other online marketplaces. He’s the bomb at this kind of stuff. But I just wanted to give you guys (many of whom have asked me about it specifically) first crack at everything.

(2) A funny thing happened on the way to this blog post. (There’s that title again.) My parents, Dave, the kids, even the pets have been very patient as I sift through box after box of my family’s audio memories. It takes time making sure these LPs aren’t warped or riddled with scratches. (Yes, I am that ethical.) And, as such, they’ve all had to put up with their share of Herb Alpert, Judy Garland, Boz Scaggs and Michael Jackson (to name a few) blaring through the house on an old, borrowed record player for weeks (months). Along the way, they’ve found various ways to occupy themselves (ignore me) and power through (survive). Just yesterday, I saw Vivien and Milo doing a beautiful job at keeping themselves busy only three feet away from the phonograph. (That means record player, young people.)

These shenanigans went on for about 10 minutes, all to the musical stylings of Barbra Streisand.

Anyway, it’s been an interesting (emotionally and physically taxing) job and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it (gotten leg cramps from sitting on the floor in indian style for hours at a time). Please be on the look out for the post listing all of these records soon. And, if you know any other fans of the gramophone (Geez! Why are there SO many ways to say record player?), please pass this list along to them when it comes out.

Thanks, guys!

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Tagged selling an old record collection, selling records on eBay

We’re Celebrating Independence Day AND a Birthday at the ODNT House

Posted on July 4, 2013 | 2 comments

Happy 4th of July, everyone! While you’re igniting your combustibles, stuffing yourself with apple pie and singing patriotic anthems, don’t forget to take a moment to think about our founding fathers who created for us the life we have today as well as all the brave men and women in the military who dedicate their lives so that it may continue for our children and our children’s children.

And … if after all of that important thinking you still have one more minute to spare … please take a moment to wish Herve a very happy birthday. Because, as a hamster, who knows how many of these special events he’ll get?

Taking a birthday spin in the hamster ball.

To celebrate, I give you Herve’s Greatest Hits. (In some of them, he just made cameos. Cameos that made the post.)

With Hamsters like Herve, Who Needs Coffee?
Weekend at Herve’s
Twas the Night Before Christmas (Take Two)
11 Weird Things That Happened This Week (11 Because of Spinal Tap)
It’s a Boy … I mean Girl! … Wait, Crap! I mean Boy!
There Should be a Weight Limit for Who Gets to be on the Christmas Card

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NYC, Philadelphia & Now Back Home to New Orleans

Posted on July 3, 2013 | 7 comments

And so ends the last day of my family trip. We’ve traveled thousands of miles, walked hundreds of blocks and spent I-don’t-even-want-to-think-about-its of dollars. We’ve been to several cities, eaten an international smorgasbord of foods and witnessed all kinds of entertainment. Along the way, we picked up my son and bid farewell to my brother. We visited with out-of-town friends while in their hometowns and hometown friends while out-of-town. We’ve ridden in taxis, subways, trains, rickshaws and, even as I type, airplanes. All in all, it’s been a great family adventure.

But a travel day is a travel day. And we all know that not much happens on that day. In truth, I didn’t even include our travel day in the beginning of the trip. Which was pretty damned lazy of me considering we did actually do a thing or two that day. But I was tired and again it was a travel day. Like today.

We didn’t do a whole lot today outside of packing, some last minute shopping near the hotel (I love H&M and we don’t have one … stupid hometown) and lunching. We wound up eating at a place called Chocolate by the Bald Man, based purely on its comical name. I didn’t even realize it was a full-scale eatery until we walked in. The people there were very nice. And I don’t like writing bad things about nice people. So, I’ll just say that my turkey sandwich served on a rosemary breakfast waffle was delicious and we’ll leave it at that. Okay?

Then, we headed out to the Philadelphia airport. No real problems except the delay caused by my carry-on which was pulled from the line. I was even interviewed about my suspicious bag. And, after a thorough investigation, we determined it was the homemade candles I’d purchased at Reading Terminal Market that were causing all the ruckus. My Fresh Baked Bread and Victorian Rose scented candles. So, if you take nothing away from reading this blog today, remember scented candles = you fitting the profile. (I wonder how many terrorists slipped by me while they were sniffing my candles.)

Anyway … I had two flights today. One from Philadelphia to Atlanta and another from Atlanta to New Orleans (aka home). Other than some turbulence that prevented the airline from providing beverage service, neither was too eventful. Always a good thing. So I found myself with time to work the in-flight crossword puzzle, attempt and fail a few math puzzles (stupid math) and thumb through the SkyMall magazine. (BTW … Best. Catalog. Ever.) And guess what, you guys? I think I’ve already got my Christmas list together for 2013. Let’s take a look.

(1) Pet anxiety reducer – Because let’s face it. We all know that Milo can be a real asshole sometimes. I’ve already tried chewy valium/liver treats as well as a liquid sedative when he’s forced to travel. All to no avail. But perhaps this snappy vest will do the trick.

(2) Large super skate sail – Because I care about the environment. And saving the Earth’s natural gas resources. Plus how cool would I look going to the grocery on this thing?

(3) Feline potty training system – Because, executed correctly, it might get me on Ellen.

(4) Portable inflatable movie screen – Because ….hello??? Party at my house!

(5) Head massager – Because it will make me the center of attention at the mall, the post office, PTA meetings … pretty much anywhere I go!

(6) Kitty washroom – Because I get to incorporate cat poo directly into my home décor. And I’ve been trying to think of a way to do that for years!

(7) Wide mock rock – Because … oh, wait. I already have one. (Bet you guys think I’m kidding.)

(8) Giraffe toilet paper holder – Because my current, ordinary holder only holds a single roll. What an antiquated piece of crap.

(9) Custom Pet Portrait Canvas – Because I can think of no better way to humiliate Milo for all of eternity. All you have to do is upload a picture and specify gender. And you guys know we’d totally say he was a girl. There’s just nothing like sticking it to a cat.

(10) Bigfoot, Garden Yeti statue, large – Because, at $2250, I really don’t know how I’ve lived without one for this long.

So there. You guys have the list. And now you should probably talk amongst yourselves to make sure I don’t get any duplicates. Plus I realize some of the items are pricier than others so I completely understand if some of you want to go in together for the bigger things.

I can hardly wait ‘til Christmas morning!

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Oh, yeah. And the trip was fantastic. All of it. Except for the bad stuff that wasn’t fantastic. Thanks for following along with my daily journal. FYI, whenever I do a post series, I like to include one at the end listing all of the links within it. Just in case I ever want to use the series collectively. That’s what this post is all about, Charlie Brown.

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To read about the whole trip …

ODNT Takes Manhattan Day 1 – Day 2 – Day 3

Mrs. ODNT Goes to Philly Day 1 – Day 2 – Day 3

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Tagged airport security, bigfoot statue, custom pet portrait canvas, feline potty training system, garden yeti statue, giraffe toilet paper holder, H&M, head massager, kitty washroom, large super skate sail, lifesize bigfoot statue, my bag got pulled, pet anxiety reducer, portable inflatable movie screen, sky mall, we need an H&M in New Orleans, wide mock rock

Mrs. ODNT Goes to Philadelphia – Day 3

Posted on July 1, 2013 | 1 comment

Today was our last full day in Philadelphia. And it was a rainy one. Which meant my hair looked a lot like what it looks like every day of the summer back home in New Orleans. (Stupid humidity.) And, in an effort to cover a lot of ground quickly, we opted to buy tickets for one of those hop-on/hop-off sightseeing buses. You know the ones? The double deckers and such? (Don’t make fun. They’re popular for a reason.) Anyway, here are a few highlights.

Do we have any It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia fans out there?

The owners were very cool. They even invited me behind the bar.

We also stopped off at the U.S. Mint, Philadelphia branch. NO PICTURES ALLOWED! (Sorry.) And it was an interesting albeit completely self-guided tour. Seriously, we needed to show ID to get in, submit all bags for inspection and even be checked out a little ourselves. And then it was like someone said, “Make yourselves at home. There’s some soup on the stove. Just lock up when you’re done.” We didn’t see an employee anywhere in the entire place. So I probably could’ve taken lots of pictures.

We missed the Chinatown stop (Oops! No foot massage today) and got off instead at the Reading Terminal Market. You might remember it from day one in Philly. And guess what Viv and I got for lunch … again? If you’re not silently mouthing the word “cheese” at your computer screen, then you must have just landed in ODNT country. Cheese it was … and it was good. And we shopped a little while there, too … until the bus called.

The kids and I got off next at the Franklin Institute. You might remember it from day two in Philly. (We are a loyal people and know what we like.) Apparently, Dean and Vivien had some unfinished business to take care of there, including walking through a ginormous replica of a working heart. With me in tow.

Of course, the thing came complete with a deafening heartbeat. I felt like an Edgar Allen Poe character.

From there, since the last bus was rolling around, we opted to hop back on and ride it to the end. It sounded easy (we’ve walked an average of 80 blocks every day … I counted) and educational (because the dude never stops telling you about the city). Once at the end, we jumped in a cab to spend time at one of the stops for which we weren’t able to de-bus.

Seriously, you guys had to see this one coming, right? Me and the Rocky Balboa statue. (Spoiler: I took a few other pictures there and, duh, on the steps, too. I’ll be using them later.)

Because who’s going to pass up this opportunity?

We walked about 247 miles back to our hotel, stopping only once to take the requisite picture by the LOVE sculpture.

Sorry, Philly, but the NYC LOVE statue kicks this one’s butt.

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To read about the trip so far …

ODNT Takes Manhattan Day 1 – Day 2 – Day 3

Mrs. ODNT Goes to Philadelphia Day 1 – Day 2

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Ketchup With Us #21

Posted on July 1, 2013 | 10 comments

Freedom.

It’s a song by George Michael (the Wham guy, not Michael Cera). It’s also a Royal Caribbean ocean liner, an uncompleted NASA project and, apparently, the name of a U.S. city in 15 different states. It’s a lot of things to a lot of people. And that’s what we’re talking about here today. Freedom. As in FREEDOM fries with extra KETCHUP. (How much more on topic can I get?) The prompt? She is very flexible and loose. Some would even say FREE. As in you are FREE to interpret it however you like.

It brought us closer together. And introduced us to about 70 new people, too. It strengthened our singing and dancing skills. And enabled me to masquerade (convincingly?) as a teenager. It even provided us with physical exercise. Every night. And all for nothing.

I still can’t believe we did it all … for FREE!

Remember how Olivia Newton-John was 30 when she played a high school senior in Grease? Yeah, well this is exactly like that. (cough)

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Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer for today is …

Donetta

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RULES? WHO NEEDS ‘EM?!!?

The rules are … THERE ARE NO RULES! Just guidelines. And we’d love it if you posted our button and followed us on Facebook (Michele /Mel) and Twitter (Michele/Mel).