My Five Favorite Things (Spoiler: There IS a cheese listed here.)


Today’s post is brought to you by MamaKat: Name your five current favorite things.

This task seems easy enough. Except it says current … so I can’t pick Donny Osmond or leg warmers or anything like that. (Both still totally awesome, by the way.) And actually, since I’m limited to only five things, I think I’m going to impose a few more rules on myself.

  • I can’t list any people. People can’t be favorite things. That’s just demeaning. (Plus I might do something tragic like list Johnny Depp before my kids or something.)
  • I can only list one food. (Otherwise, duh, this list would just be five different foods.)
  • I can’t let this post sound like a sponsored advertisement by extolling the virtues of my favorite hair product or anything like that. (Yawn.)

So, with those extra rules now in place, I give you …

My five current favorite things

1. Mt. Tam Cheese

There are no words to describe the amazing delicacy that is Mt. Tam. Screw that. Here are the words: It’s made by the cheese WIZARDS at Cowgirl Creamery. It’s their signature cheese and, if you must know, also mine. (Yes, I have a signature cheese. What of it?) It’s an award-winning, decadent, buttery, triple-cream cheese that is said to have “a  mellow, earthy flavor reminiscent of white mushrooms.” I got a full wheel of it for Christmas and (truth?) I ate the entire thing by myself in two sittings. If you reach toward my plate when I’m eating it, I make no apologies for what could happen to you or your grabby, little fingers.

2. H&M Shirt … AND … 3. Skinny Mirror

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Is it confusing that I’ve combined numbers 2 and 3. What am I saying? You guys are geniuses. You’ll keep up, right?

I bought that shirt on a trip to New York at the H&M Store on 5th Avenue. I walked right past Saks, Prada, and Salvatore Ferragama and strolled my frugal ass into the H&M Store. I love that place. Because I can usually get six great things for less than three digits in under an hour. (God, I hate shopping.) It’s colorful (I’m often accused of wearing too much black), feminine (always a good thing when I want to prove I’m a girl), and goes in at exactly the right place on my waistline. And if I had to do it all over again, I would buy five of them. Seriously, it takes ten pounds off me.

And speaking of taking pounds off … I want a skinny mirror. But not just any skinny mirror. I want the one that hangs in the girls’ bathroom on the first floor of Vivien’s school building. (And now that I’m posting it here publicly, there go my chances of stealing it off the wall. Geez, I am such an IDIOT!) Over the years, I’ve taken a few friends to gaze into its fallacious … fictional … flattering reflection. And it’s never disappointed. Honestly, it’s probably best that I don’t have this magical tool all to myself. For I might spend the rest of my days staring at a distorted image of my own hips. Just call me Narcissus.

4. Modern Family

If you’ve seen the show, you can stop reading. Because you get it. Modern Family is funny. It makes me laugh. And, honestly, I don’t laugh a lot. I’m a hard person to make laugh out loud. So I love it when I find the rare show that can accomplish that. Over my lifetime, there really haven’t been very many … 30 Rock, Frasier, Friends, Newsradio, Seinfeld, Cheers, Taxi and Arrested Development. That’s about it. So thanks, Dunphys and Pritchetts. And please, keep it coming.

5. Writing Prompts That Ask for Lists

Number 5 is sort of my Being John Malkovich moment in this blog post. It’s the self-aware part where I actually list “writing lists” as an item on my 5 Favorite Things list. Does that make sense? Well, it’s true. Nothing makes for an easier entry. So thanks, MamaKat, for yet another opportunity to list out a few mundane things about myself and then have the nerve to call it “writing.”

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What are some of YOUR favorite things right now?

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I Don't Like Mondays Blog Hop

#KetchupWithUs 34 – Belly up to the #BlogHop!


Here at #KetchupWithUs headquarters, the high-brow, test-your-limits, bare-your-soul writing prompts that you guys have come to expect from Mel and me are currently in … well … hibernation.

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Giving new meaning to Ketchup versus Catsup.

For now, we’re just running a good, old-fashioned blog hop. The overhead is much lower and it’s the only way we could secure our liquor license. So pull out something you want to share, show off or expose (geez, that sounds terrible!) and link ‘er up at the linky below. Oh, and be sure to visit some of your fellow linkers and say hi. There are scads of truly awesome people in this little community of ours.


Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer from last time is …

Coach Daddy


BEHIND THE KETCHUP

Click here to read how this foolishness all began.

KEEP TRACK OF OUR STUPIDITY

SPREAD THE WORD & POST OUR BUTTON … please!

olddognewtits.com

The embed code for this button is right there in my sidebar. Unfortunately, my site is being a tool and won’t let me put it in this actual post. Please grab it from the sidebar. Thanks!

FINALLY … THE LINK-UP!

Our regular writing prompts are in hibernation so link up any post you want!

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That Suburban Momma

 

A Treasured Family Memory. In 33 Monosyllabic Words.


Our writing prompt for today is from Trifecta. In 33, one-syllable words, complete the story that begins with “The first time I saw …” After considering a few different ideas, I went with non-fiction.

The first time I saw …

… it, I threw it in the trash. I knew it would say no.

They all said no.

Hours passed. He looked at it.

“I don’t think it’s a no” was all he said.


Friday, February 12, 1999. The Day My Infertility Died.


What about YOU?

Can you finish the story in 33 one-syllable words? Here. I’ll start you off. The first time I saw …

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That Suburban Momma

The Photographic Proof that I am NOT a Vampire


My writing prompt for today comes to me from MamaKat: “Find a photo of yourself taken 10 years ago and display it on your blog along with a current photo. How have you changed since the day that photo was taken?”

* * * * * * * * * *

Fortunately, I organize my pictures by year. They’re in chronological order in a box in the original Walgreen’s envelopes. And I made the minimal effort to scrawl the month and year on the outside with a ballpoint pen. (Martha Stewart I am not.) So when I read this prompt, I turned to my box (or rather boxes as there are now six of them) and searched for anything marked 2004.

Truly, I had a helluva time finding any of me. My kids turned 2 and 5 that year. And they were aDORable. So I was usually behind the camera for all of the pictures. But I did manage to find a few old snapshots and (thanks to iPhones and vanity) I have plenty of current pictures. And I decided to arrange the “thens” and the “nows” into two collages. For you.

Because I know how much you like that kind of thing.

. . . . .  Then (2004) . . . . .

20140110-171638.jpg(Top Left: me, half-dressed as John Lennon, fixing Viv’s hair for Dean’s Halloween-themed birthday party; Top Right: me with Dean playing in a VERY rare white Christmas here in New Orleans; Bottom: Christmas Eve 2004)

This woman is busy. Her kids are still very young. She doesn’t have time to put on make-up and perfect her hair for pictures. Apparently, she doesn’t even always have time to look at the camera when her picture is being taken. Unless, of course, it’s Christmas Eve. She can make time for that one night of the year.

. . . . .  Now (2014)  . . . . .

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(Clockwise from bottom left: Kiss hair promotion; With kids on rickshaw pedicab in NYC; With Mel in Chicago; With Viv at Cinderella; Accidentally channeling The Bearded Iris; Vying for the attention of the entire country of Greenland)

This woman is also busy, but in a different way. Her kids are older. And much more independent and self-sufficient. Which is as awesome as it is suckish. She misses her little people so much that sometimes it is crippling. But, at the same time, she absolutely loves watching her kids develop into funny, insightful, broad-minded human beings. And she takes full credit for this development, by the way. But, geez, she’s a bit of a peacock, isn’t she? (Oh, and she’s pissed at herself that she still hasn’t finished that book. But she’s working on it. She promises.)

* * * * * * * * * *

What do you think? Have I changed a lot? Should I be calling my dermatologist for an emergency Botox appointment? Tell the truth. I can take it.

Oh, and how have YOU changed in the last ten years?

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How Drew Brees is going to earn me some serious cash money!


Let’s get right to the point. I recently mentioned one of my big goals for 2014 is income. And just look what fell into my lap today! A GOLDEN opportunity. Thank you, Craigslist. And thank you, Drew Brees, because you and your likeness are going to score me $500 this month. Check it out.

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* * * * * * * * * *

The Details

* * * * * * * * * *

HEIGHT

Drew = 6′ AND Me = 5′ 4″. Not a problem with the right footwear. I need to start Googling “platform cleats.”

WEIGHT

Drew = 209 lbs. AND Me = Up-yours-it’s-right-after-holiday-season. Let’s just say he’s got about 8o to 90 lbs. on me. So I’ll either wear padding or start eating. (The latter seems much more likely.)

ATTIRE

My son already has a #9 jersey but do I have to wear those stupid football pants? Never mind. You know what? I’m fully committed. But if I have to wear ass-huggers, I’m going with the black.

HAIR

We both have brown hair, which is good, but mine still has traces of red Kool-Aid in it. Plus our styles are nothing alike. But can’t I just wear a helmet? Yep. Problem solved.

BIRTHMARK

You guys don’t think I’d overlook this important detail, do you? It’s his calling card, for Pete’s sake. A little strategic make-up should do the trick.


Take a look at this picture of Drew and me at Book of Mormon last fall.

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Look at the two of us, just hanging out with my friend. We’re like TWINS! Guess which one I am? Fine. I’ll give you a hint: pink stripes.

Oh, but I do still have one problem.

I don’t know jack about football.

(thinking …

thinking …

snacking …

thinking)

Think they’d let me give a speech on musical theater???

 

I Don't Like Mondays Blog Hop

My Top 12 Posts of 2014 – Not necessarily what I expected


Today, we’re taking a look at the top 12 most popular posts of 2013. Partly because I find it interesting. But mostly because it’s a writing prompt by my friend, MamaKat. So here they are, in no particular order, for your enjoyment.

For your convenience, there are tissues … barf bags … and rotten tomatoes located in the boxes under your seats. You be the judge.


Ten Things That Are Now 50 Years Old

The Day I Saw The Conjuring (aka The Day I Nearly Peed My Pants in Chicago)

Congratulations to My Son on His Graduation Day

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Seriously, that boy’s going to be a Nobel Peace Prize winner, a gold medalist AND President of the United States one day.

A Letter to Hamilton Beach … Toaster Department, Please

Happy Labor Day from ODNT

Goodbye, 3850 Red Cypress Drive. And Thank You.

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Oh, but if these walls could talk …  my brother and I would’ve gotten into WAY more trouble back in the ’80s.

The Day Things Got Hairy at Disney World

What do I have to do to get you into a pair of #MonsterInspiration headphones today?

Letter #3 to Hamilton Beach (I’m a lover, not a fighter)

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Thanks to Hamilton Beach, I am now a wanted felon in the small appliance community.

With Hamsters like Herve, Who Needs Coffee?

Make Money, Not War … with gapNsnap!

One day, somebody’s gonna find that missing body part in my hallway

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Because when you accidentally circumcise your toe, nothing goes down better than Chick-Fil-A.


Tomatoes. I KNEW it would be the tomatoes. (sigh)

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Did I ever tell you that ODNT wasn’t my first blog?


A few years ago … four to be exact … I got an idea. My kids were considerably younger, seven and ten, and thus my life ran at a very different pace. I had an idea to nurture my writing and decided to start a blog. I never mentioned it to anyone. ANYONE. And I only wrote one entry.

What a quitter.

The funny thing is … I was just thinking about that old blog recently and wondering if I could track it down on the information superhighway. My head was swimming with questions about it.

Would it still be there?

Would it be at all interesting … relevant … and similar to me now?

And would anyone (anyone???) have stopped by to say hello?

The answers are yes. Yes, yes, yes. And a big … fat … deafening NO!

Still, *I* enjoyed reading it. I expected to cringe at my thoughts, my word choices and my jokes … much like I do with some of my early entries here at ODNT. But I didn’t. I actually liked how I wrote it. Honest and simple. With such a clean, legible design. (Spoiler Alert – this website hopes to be a lot less GREEN in 2014. And, by that, I mean in color. Not that I’m going to start burning fluorocarbons and switch to aerosol deodorant.) And I entertained a lot of names for it. Many of which (shhh!) I like much better than the one I’m using now. So many people find my current blog for all the wrong reasons. (Sigh)

Anyway, it’s just a little glimpse into who I was … four years ago today … that I forgot about until very recently. That blog has never been listed on any directories. It’s never been nominated or won any writing or blogger awards. It’s never even been read by anyone else. Until today.

Wanna see? It’s called Playing it by Ear. But the URL is actually my name. Why it isn’t the name of the blog, I cannot tell you. I had no idea what I was doing that afternoon. And I wonder what I should do with it now.

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The woman who was writing to you then. Her hair is two-toned, she exercised more and her babies were both still considerably smaller than she. Plus, she’s in London. (I hate her!)


Happy New Year, ODNT & PIBE readers!

(Wow. That new acronym is one letter off from being really, really gross.)

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I Don't Like Mondays Blog Hop

Ketchup With Us #33 #BlogHop – a NEW Format for a NEW Year!


It’s January, it’s the middle of winter and it’s c-c-c-c-c-cold! So we’re taking a tip from our animal friends and trying something new around here. Hibernation!

Ketchup With Us has never been easier. Mel and I will still co-host it on the 1st and 15th of every month but you can now link up whatever you want. Just pick one of your posts. ANY post. As long as we all get to “Ketchup” with each other, right?

Oh, and our featured writer will now be determined by the highest number of clicks. So title your posts well to draw ’em in!

Happy New Ketchup!


Our esteemed Ketchup With Us Featured Writer from last time is …

Becky


BEHIND THE KETCHUP

Click here to read how this foolishness all began. There are no rules. But we’d love it if you posted our button and followed us on Facebook (Michele /Mel), Twitter (Michele/Mel), Instagram (Michele/Mel) and Pinterest (Michele/Mel). Oh, and SPREAD THE WORD!

GRAB OUR BUTTON

olddognewtits.com


‘KETCHUP WITH US’ #33

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Since our regular writing prompts are in hibernation, link up any post you want!

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I Don't Like Mondays Blog Hop
That Suburban Momma

My Goals for 2014 … in 3 Words


My friend, Mel, gave me a great idea for a simple but meaningful post. We’re both doing it actually. And we’d love to hear yours.


If I could sum up my goals for 2014 in three words, they would be …

  1. Harmony
  2. Income
  3. Novel

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How about you?

What are YOUR three words for 2014?

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Spanx … for Dudes


Because I always appreciate a new product … and I aim to inform here at ODNT … I wanted to share my latest new product find with you guys. I’m not a Spanx wearer myself. I tried them once and spent the whole evening sweating and snapping them back into place under my dress. Plus, they didn’t actually make me feel thinner. They did, however, make me feel sleeker. Like a mermaid. Or an eel. So should that need ever arise …

Anyway, I came across a new Spanx line whilst I was out Christmas shopping this year. Yes, I said whilst!

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Apparently, they come in three sizes … Game On, Get Tanked and Bring it! That last one is described as having “Hard Core Power” on the “Gut Gauge.” (Just because they use masculine words doesn’t change the fact that you’re a dude. And you’re wearing Spanx.)

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Because sometimes even guys need a little control top. And it’s described as having “Super comfort down below – Fits like your favorite underwear.” (Um .. even if your “favorite underwear” is boxers?)

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My personal favorite. It’s just the briefs. (So what exactly are they trying to slim down here?)

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That Suburban Momma